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In a difficult position at University, need advice please. watch

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    I'm 18 years old and just started a 3 year University course with 1 year abroad. It's the course I %100 want to do, and it's a course I need to do to get to where I want to be in life, (It's not as if I necessarily want to do it, but I have to to be happy in life.)

    However, I'm having some serious problems. Essentially I'm an extremely socially anxious, introverted and depressed person, and it's making University so incredibly difficult. I honestly can't even describe the extent of my problems, I would need a proper medical diagnosis, counselling and help which I'm currently in the processes of receiving. In the current mental mindset I have, I don't want to socialize with people, and I would be quite happy to just turn up to my course lessons, (8 hours a week,) not talk to anyone and go home, where I shut myself in my room and relax and think to myself, "I've survived another week, just xxx more to go.) I'm fairly sure this isn't how Uni should be for anyone, all my course mates are very close knit with each over and it makes turning up to lessons so difficult, because it's 6 weeks in and I don't even know most of them.

    I feel completely empty and lost, unmotivated which leads me to a lot of procrastination, whenever I think about doing work I think of University and it being a place I absolutely hate. Seeing all the pictures and news of the people on my course having so much fun brings me to tears. In my current mentality, I can't socialise at all, it's way too taxing for me and makes me feel very very dizzy and tired. This is hard as there's alot of social elements in my course, and out of class group tasks are constantly being set: "Get into groups of you're choosing and do this" etc.

    I am going to see a GP, and I'm seeing my University counselling service, (I completely broke down when I went to the initial counselling meeting.) I have so many problems and I'm just completely lost with how to solve them. It makes it worse that I don't have any true family or friends that I can confide in and just be open.

    Does anyone have any advice for me at all? I REALLY want to get this degree, but Uni is so so so difficult for a person like me. It was very hard getting through high school and college for me already.

    Thanks
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    (Original post by MRnightcookie)
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    You've started on the right track by going to the University Counselling Service - they can help. Also, be clear that you don't need to turn into the perfect student party animal before the end of this term in order to make friends or to have a happy and successful time at university. There are many, many different groups you can join in and make friends with whenever you fancy, you can take up a new sport in the second term, third term, second year etc or join a new society, or just go to a new cafe or bar. Don't count in days and weeks, you have 3 years.

    These things can be turned around easily (in hindsight) so long as you take small steps and don't set yourself unrealistic targets and deadlines like 'if I haven't made friends in the first 6 weeks I never will'. Take a look around at others- you'll notice that unlike school where everything was about conforming, University is where everyone tries out being and individual, and by and large folks at university are much more tolerant of individuals as well.
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    (Original post by threeportdrift)
    You've started on the right track by going to the University Counselling Service - they can help. Also, be clear that you don't need to turn into the perfect student party animal before the end of this term in order to make friends or to have a happy and successful time at university. There are many, many different groups you can join in and make friends with whenever you fancy, you can take up a new sport in the second term, third term, second year etc or join a new society, or just go to a new cafe or bar. Don't count in days and weeks, you have 3 years.

    These things can be turned around easily (in hindsight) so long as you take small steps and don't set yourself unrealistic targets and deadlines like 'if I haven't made friends in the first 6 weeks I never will'. Take a look around at others- you'll notice that unlike school where everything was about conforming, University is where everyone tries out being and individual, and by and large folks at university are much more tolerant of individuals as well.
    Thanks, and you're right. In actual fact I don't drink at all, and I never will. So that's already out of the question entirely lol. You're right though, there is a society that I really wanted to go to, (it has all the students in my course though, like literally, they ALL go.) It's so hard though, because like I said social situations are excruciatingly difficult for me. After I finish classes etc I'm first person out the door and straight back home. It's so hard because in all honesty, I'm an extremely nice person and very polite, it's not like I'm a complete *******. But in my current situation mentally, i find it very hard to care for people. I don't really want to know about them or converse, I prefer my own company. It's not like I don't talk to anyone, I would go insane.

    I understand people are a lot more tolerant, and I'm actually complimented quite a lot about my individuality like my very unique hairstyle. But I just find it so hard to converse when people start a conversation with me over that topic or something. I feel dead inside, completely disconnected from other people, it all feels like a blur when I'm in classes or other peoples company, I feel like vomiting half the time.
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    (Original post by MRnightcookie)
    I'm 18 years old and just started a 3 year University course with 1 year abroad. It's the course I %100 want to do, and it's a course I need to do to get to where I want to be in life, (It's not as if I necessarily want to do it, but I have to to be happy in life.)

    However, I'm having some serious problems. Essentially I'm an extremely socially anxious, introverted and depressed person, and it's making University so incredibly difficult. I honestly can't even describe the extent of my problems, I would need a proper medical diagnosis, counselling and help which I'm currently in the processes of receiving. In the current mental mindset I have, I don't want to socialize with people, and I would be quite happy to just turn up to my course lessons, (8 hours a week,) not talk to anyone and go home, where I shut myself in my room and relax and think to myself, "I've survived another week, just xxx more to go.) I'm fairly sure this isn't how Uni should be for anyone, all my course mates are very close knit with each over and it makes turning up to lessons so difficult, because it's 6 weeks in and I don't even know most of them.

    I feel completely empty and lost, unmotivated which leads me to a lot of procrastination, whenever I think about doing work I think of University and it being a place I absolutely hate. Seeing all the pictures and news of the people on my course having so much fun brings me to tears. In my current mentality, I can't socialise at all, it's way too taxing for me and makes me feel very very dizzy and tired. This is hard as there's alot of social elements in my course, and out of class group tasks are constantly being set: "Get into groups of you're choosing and do this" etc.

    I am going to see a GP, and I'm seeing my University counselling service, (I completely broke down when I went to the initial counselling meeting.) I have so many problems and I'm just completely lost with how to solve them. It makes it worse that I don't have any true family or friends that I can confide in and just be open.

    Does anyone have any advice for me at all? I REALLY want to get this degree, but Uni is so so so difficult for a person like me. It was very hard getting through high school and college for me already.

    Thanks
    This sounds a lot like me. I seem to have found that now things has got really bad, that If I do work it takes my mind of anything rubbish that has happened. And, it gets the work done. If I can't manage work I try not to worry about it, I've never done the 'finish work at 3am the day before its due' thing, It always gets done somehow. I've done this since GCSE's so I'm quite used to it now. I know its not what anyone would recommend but for me it works.

    My only other advice is don't look at or compare yourself to anyone else. Your you and everyone is different. You can't make yourself upset because your finding it more difficult than others seem to be. Just remember if your doing your best then that's all you can do. and if you do your best it will be enough.

    Hope that helped somehow, but if you want to know anything else please ask.
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    (Original post by MRnightcookie)
    I'm 18 years old and just started a 3 year University course with 1 year abroad. It's the course I %100 want to do, and it's a course I need to do to get to where I want to be in life, (It's not as if I necessarily want to do it, but I have to to be happy in life.)

    However, I'm having some serious problems. Essentially I'm an extremely socially anxious, introverted and depressed person, and it's making University so incredibly difficult. I honestly can't even describe the extent of my problems, I would need a proper medical diagnosis, counselling and help which I'm currently in the processes of receiving. In the current mental mindset I have, I don't want to socialize with people, and I would be quite happy to just turn up to my course lessons, (8 hours a week,) not talk to anyone and go home, where I shut myself in my room and relax and think to myself, "I've survived another week, just xxx more to go.) I'm fairly sure this isn't how Uni should be for anyone, all my course mates are very close knit with each over and it makes turning up to lessons so difficult, because it's 6 weeks in and I don't even know most of them.

    I feel completely empty and lost, unmotivated which leads me to a lot of procrastination, whenever I think about doing work I think of University and it being a place I absolutely hate. Seeing all the pictures and news of the people on my course having so much fun brings me to tears. In my current mentality, I can't socialise at all, it's way too taxing for me and makes me feel very very dizzy and tired. This is hard as there's alot of social elements in my course, and out of class group tasks are constantly being set: "Get into groups of you're choosing and do this" etc.

    I am going to see a GP, and I'm seeing my University counselling service, (I completely broke down when I went to the initial counselling meeting.) I have so many problems and I'm just completely lost with how to solve them. It makes it worse that I don't have any true family or friends that I can confide in and just be open.

    Does anyone have any advice for me at all? I REALLY want to get this degree, but Uni is so so so difficult for a person like me. It was very hard getting through high school and college for me already.

    Thanks
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