Hey guys,
I'd like to get opinions from guys and even from the ladies...I don't mind but it's mainly the guys' opinions that I am interested in as they are the ones I am trying to reach out to mainly. So I'd like to address respect, opinions..saying yes and no to things. But something happened to me today, sorry it's going to be a long read but you can just skip to the last paragraph if you don't want to read everything. Overall, I'd like to get your intake on this situation.
A good friend of mine who I consider a brother (though I know he likes me a lot in terms of romantically) came unexpectedly to my house and this is where things began to go off hill. Though I was surprised, I agreed to see him and while walking him back to the bus stop where he could catch a bus back home he began acting very strangely. He was different today. He hasn't done this before but he began to force intense kisses on me, forcing his tongue in my mouth and neck, putting his hand in my bra to feel me up, squeezing my butt etc and I kept saying no, pushing myself backwards. I felt so powerless to some degree and embarrassed as this happened though in the night, in public.
As he kissed me, I could taste and sense alcohol so I don't know if it was because he had been drinking therefore was drunk. Not to sound too explicit but as he pulled me close to him to the point where our bodies where touching I could feel him from below and I knew he was turned on and wanted to leave. I thought he was sane enough to speak clearly, make his way back home and find my house so maybe he wasn't as drunk though his breathe smelt and he tasted like beer/alcohol. He's has explained that in the past, drinking was a problem for him so I don't know but even with that...why show up at my house without asking if you can come over. He's done this before.
Last time I told him not to come over and he still did.
But even before and during all of this happened, he's normally the sweetest person ever and if I was physically attracted to him to some extent, I will admit I would have dated him. It's going to sound shallow but it's true.
On our walk, he even began showing my cheques where he makes thousands of pounds, I don't know if it was his attempt to win me over as for months now he has asked to be my boyfriend but I've said no. I thought we were ok as for a while he cooled down and even got a girlfriend. But after today and what happened...I just felt and still feel so uncomfortable and he knew. No means no. The thing is he even said I know you don't want to kiss me but give me 10 seconds (10 seconds to make out) and I'll go home. Each time I kept pulling back and saying stop, calling his name and saying stop but he got carried away. At one point I even feared that he was going to rape me or something. In shock, because he wasn't the person I knew, at times I just said nothing.
But he said something that has been ringing in my head ever since.
He said what I am looking for in a guy is difficult to find, that I should just give him a chance, initiating I may never find what I am looking for. The thing is, what I am looking for is a Christian guy who could treat me with respect. Someone who doesn't think because I am a woman, I have to cook or clean...instead sees me and him as equal to where we do things together and things are halved. I want someone humble, patient, someone who can listen to me. I know this may sound absurd but say if I don't find a guy that meets the things I am looking for and my guy friend though was insane in the moment is right. What if I end up lonely or single or something? I want to get married one day and hopefully even have children. But I want a marriage where my husband loves me unconditionally, where he doesn't care about social expectations/ not caring of what a man should be as or not be as.