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Worried/ jealous when girlfriend goes out clubbing and getting drunkwith her friends watch

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    My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 and a half years. We both trust each other and have a great time when we go out clubbing which have only done a few times as we both have only just turned 18. However this year when she started full time work she made some new friends consisting of most girls of which a little over half are single. These girls would be ages 23+ and often go out clubbing and drinking together getting drunk. I think that they are a bad influence on her and I hate it when they go out although I'm fine with it when I'm there. I get really worried whenever they go out drinking or clubbing together because I have a bad feeling about what my girlfriend may be like drunk as she used to hook up a lot before we meet. I am her first serious boyfriend as well, her only other boyfriend was a relationship that only lasted about 3 months. When they go out I do my best to act cool about it but when she sees me in person and talks about she can tell from my body language that I am not comfortable with the idea of them all going out. I hate that I get worried because I really want her to go out and have fun but I just get really worried that something may happen. This week they are all going out, as well with male friends, for drinks after work where apparently they plan to get drunk before going to kareoke. That was all the details I knew initially which she told me last week when it was planned. However yesterday she added the detail that they also going clubbing afterwards which made my feelings worse. Next week one of the girls is having a sleepover where all the girls in the friend circle are going over to her place, getting drunk and watching magic mike 1 and 2 (which I am not thrilled about in the first place) even though it is just girls I was worried still. Then she said this week that a guy named Connor may also be going (I had never heard of Connor before he answered her phone apparently as a joke after she said "you can call me if you like". I was quite annoyed about this because I wanted to talk to her as I needed to tell her some news and when I asked where she was he said she was busy. Anyway so this guy Connor might've been going to go and I said I wasn't really comfortable with her going to a sleepover where she will be getting drunk especially if there's a guy there. She tried to reassure me that he probably won't and the next day she confirmed he wouldn't but I'm not sure if she was saying that so I wouldn't worry. I feel that there are an increasing amount of secrets that are present when she's around her friends but I don't know if that's just me overthinking. Recently there have been a few relationship problems due to my family and they way they treat her which I have gotten into numerous fights with them about because it's unacceptable. Anyway I have asked her if she wants to break up because I know that family is really important to her when it comes to a future husband (we have discussed marriage) because she does not have much family here. And she says she wants to stay with me. Also with her work she is often tired after work (understandably) when she reaches home at 6pm so she doesn't have the energy to go out often during the week. And on the weekends she is often busy however we usually manage to spend a few hours together at least once a fortnight. We really love each other a lot (I expect she does anyway) and I hate having these feelings because I'm pretty sure I trust her but I can't understand why these feelings are present. The feelings are never there when I'm with her and her friends even if we are also clubbing but when's she's alone with them (even during her lunch break when she's talking to them and not replying like she used to even last week and before that) I get this annoying feeling of doubt and worry which I can't get rid of. Can anyone help? Or share advice?
    • #1
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    don't you trust her?
    You're now 18 she is going to make new friends and have different experiences, stopping her doing these things is a controlling and horrible thing to do to her.

    Also you are only 18, you are still a baby to all of this relationship stuff. Let her be who she is and stop trying to control her, if she loves you and wants to marry you of course she's not going to cheat, but she's started a new job and is making new friends, its a natural part of life!
    Grow up a little and stop being so demanding and controlling, if she wants to watch magic mike she can watch it!
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    Tell her how you feel..
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    I agree with anonymous 1. You clearly have no trust for her and that not great for the relationship. Also, you don't want her to watch Magic Mike? Grow up.
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    You say you trust each other but you asking this question clearly shows you do not trust her completely not to cheat. If you believe that she loves you then you should trust that she won't cheat on you and I'm sure you'd be offended if she had the same worries about you.


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    My real name isn't Tom. It's Connor.

    I've been invited to go to a sleepover with some girls, we'll be watching a movie and getting drunk. Perfect.

    Why perfect? Because there's one girl in particular that I have a crush on. Well, she has a boyfriend. But do I care? BAHAHAHAHAH.
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    (Original post by Tom Jickleson)
    My real name isn't Tom. It's Connor.

    I've been invited to go to a sleepover with some girls, we'll be watching a movie and getting drunk. Perfect.

    Why perfect? Because there's one girl in particular that I have a crush on. Well, she has a boyfriend. But do I care? BAHAHAHAHAH.
    Mate if she has a boyfriend I really don't think she's interested in you 😂😂😂😂take a hint when you see one darling


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    Lol at letting your missus go out drinking with her friends.
    Put your foot down and tell her to behave herself ffs.
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    (Original post by muslimstanisyed)
    Lol at letting your missus go out drinking with her friends.
    Put your foot down and tell her to behave herself ffs.
    Stfu from this post I can just predict that you're single, how do you expect women to respect you with that attitude


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    End it. It's not going to work

    For her sake not yours...
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    (Original post by halliethestudent)
    Stfu from this post I can just predict that you're single, how do you expect women to respect you with that attitude


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    Not every woman in the world is like ops woman remember that.
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    (Original post by qwert19970916)
    My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 and a half years. We both trust each other and have a great time when we go out clubbing which have only done a few times as we both have only just turned 18. However this year when she started full time work she made some new friends consisting of most girls of which a little over half are single. These girls would be ages 23+ and often go out clubbing and drinking together getting drunk. I think that they are a bad influence on her and I hate it when they go out although I'm fine with it when I'm there. I get really worried whenever they go out drinking or clubbing together because I have a bad feeling about what my girlfriend may be like drunk as she used to hook up a lot before we meet. I am her first serious boyfriend as well, her only other boyfriend was a relationship that only lasted about 3 months. When they go out I do my best to act cool about it but when she sees me in person and talks about she can tell from my body language that I am not comfortable with the idea of them all going out. I hate that I get worried because I really want her to go out and have fun but I just get really worried that something may happen. This week they are all going out, as well with male friends, for drinks after work where apparently they plan to get drunk before going to kareoke. That was all the details I knew initially which she told me last week when it was planned. However yesterday she added the detail that they also going clubbing afterwards which made my feelings worse. Next week one of the girls is having a sleepover where all the girls in the friend circle are going over to her place, getting drunk and watching magic mike 1 and 2 (which I am not thrilled about in the first place) even though it is just girls I was worried still. Then she said this week that a guy named Connor may also be going (I had never heard of Connor before he answered her phone apparently as a joke after she said "you can call me if you like". I was quite annoyed about this because I wanted to talk to her as I needed to tell her some news and when I asked where she was he said she was busy. Anyway so this guy Connor might've been going to go and I said I wasn't really comfortable with her going to a sleepover where she will be getting drunk especially if there's a guy there. She tried to reassure me that he probably won't and the next day she confirmed he wouldn't but I'm not sure if she was saying that so I wouldn't worry. I feel that there are an increasing amount of secrets that are present when she's around her friends but I don't know if that's just me overthinking. Recently there have been a few relationship problems due to my family and they way they treat her which I have gotten into numerous fights with them about because it's unacceptable. Anyway I have asked her if she wants to break up because I know that family is really important to her when it comes to a future husband (we have discussed marriage) because she does not have much family here. And she says she wants to stay with me. Also with her work she is often tired after work (understandably) when she reaches home at 6pm so she doesn't have the energy to go out often during the week. And on the weekends she is often busy however we usually manage to spend a few hours together at least once a fortnight. We really love each other a lot (I expect she does anyway) and I hate having these feelings because I'm pretty sure I trust her but I can't understand why these feelings are present. The feelings are never there when I'm with her and her friends even if we are also clubbing but when's she's alone with them (even during her lunch break when she's talking to them and not replying like she used to even last week and before that) I get this annoying feeling of doubt and worry which I can't get rid of. Can anyone help? Or share advice?
    You say you trust her yet you are worried she will do something while she is out with her friends, this suggests clearly you don't trust her and the way you are acting, you will drive her away from you. She is allowed to have friends and nights out without you, have you not got some friends you could hang out with? you still have to have a life outside the relationship.
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    Yeah I would keep a close eye on her if I were you, she's watching magic mike so she might cheat on you. Be careful son.
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    Are you afraid Mike is more magical than you are?
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    (Original post by halliethestudent)
    Mate if she has a boyfriend I really don't think she's interested in you 😂😂😂😂take a hint when you see one darling


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    That joke went right over your head huh. Or did you not read any of the OP?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    don't you trust her?
    You're now 18 she is going to make new friends and have different experiences, stopping her doing these things is a controlling and horrible thing to do to her.

    Also you are only 18, you are still a baby to all of this relationship stuff. Let her be who she is and stop trying to control her, if she loves you and wants to marry you of course she's not going to cheat, but she's started a new job and is making new friends, its a natural part of life!
    Grow up a little and stop being so demanding and controlling, if she wants to watch magic mike she can watch it!
    I do trust her completely It's when she's drunk that I'm unsure because what if a guy comes on to her and she's so drunk that she doesn't think about it

    Also that's the reason I haven't said anything, I don't want to seem controlling and I don't want her to not do things she finds fun because I feel uneasy
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    (Original post by halliethestudent)
    You say you trust each other but you asking this question clearly shows you do not trust her completely not to cheat. If you believe that she loves you then you should trust that she won't cheat on you and I'm sure you'd be offended if she had the same worries about you.


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    I know she wouldn't cheat on me when she's sober
    It's when she's drunk and around these single guys who find her attractive that I get uneasy
    • #2
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    Connor's going to be balls deep.
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    'I trust her' then continues to write a whole post about how you don't, hmm.


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    (Original post by qwert19970916)
    I know she wouldn't cheat on me when she's sober
    It's when she's drunk and around these single guys who find her attractive that I get uneasy
    Exactly so you don't trust her, If my boyfriend said that to me I wouldn't be happy


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