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Why wouldn't you date a transgender person?

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So if you fell in love with someone and they then told you they were trans, you'd break up with them?

Honestly were that to happen, and presuming it was a long term relationship so that I was at a stage where I was in love, I would be more hurt that they left it so long to tell me this than the actual fact that they were.

Reply 21

581371

Original post by L'absurde

But if they look as if they were born a lady then what difference does it make?

Because they're not. Nothing against trans people. But imo, you are what you're born as, a man having surgery to be a woman is still a man to me. They even identify as a transgender woman... However, I also think it depends on sexuality. If I was bisexual, then It probably wouldn't bother me

Reply 22

Bupdeeboowah

Original post by Zuki

I'd prefer my lady to be born a lady...preferences and all

Ladies are not born; they are earned.

Reply 23

okey

I just can't feel attracted to women knowing they've were born men.

Reply 24

Alrounder79

Original post by Bupdeeboowah

Suppose that I can never accept a child who is not truly ours, and want to have a child which resembles my spouse and myself.

So you wouldn't even consider a cis female who was infertile? What if you suddenly were infertile, would you never want a child?

Reply 25

581371

Original post by Bupdeeboowah

Ladies are not born; they are earned.

Very true

Reply 26

L'absurde

Original post by Eux

But don't you understand, there's so much transphobia, it makes sense that one would wait until they were in a long term, solid relationship till they came out.

But the question is, would you leave them if you truly loved them? What does their being trans change?

Reply 27

L'absurde

Original post by Zuki

So what if you fell for a trans woman?

Reply 28

L'absurde

Original post by okey

I just can't feel attracted to women knowing they've were born men.

It's not always so obvious.

Reply 29

okey

Original post by L'absurde

It's not always so obvious.

But if I knew then I would lose attraction to them. I know this because I can't feel attracted to transgender people right now, no matter how physically attractive they appear

Reply 30

hoping4Astars

Personally I just don't like the idea of someone imitating the opposite sex because I believe that if you are born a man then you are a man. Also, I want to be able to have children that carry my genes and the genes of my wife, so I can only date a real woman.

Reply 31

mackemforever

Original post by Zuki

Trust me, I've known some trans-women in the past who you wouldn't think, even for a second, weren't genetic women. Unless they told you then there is no way in hell you'd even suspect anything.

To use an example of a friend of mine.

She was born male, outwardly identified as female from the age of 7 onwards, was on hormone therapy at 11 so didn't get any of the hormones men do when they go through puberty, thanks to being on hormones since such a young age she has very feminine facial features, a proper female figure, grew good sized breasts through puberty, has an extremely feminine voice, and has since had SRS so has a fully functional vagina.

So you have somebody who looks female, sounds female, has the same hormone levels as a female, is sexually female, is surrounded by friends who almost entirely are unaware that she is transgender (the only people who know are people she has told) and on all legal documentation is shown as female.

Which part of that makes her a man?

Reply 32

L'absurde

Original post by okey

But if I knew then I would lose attraction to them. I know this because I can't feel attracted to transgender people right now, no matter how physically attractive they appear

So you're telling me if you fell for a woman and found her attractive you'd lose all love and attraction for her is she's trans?

Reply 33

username1421435

Original post by L'absurde

I guess I wouldn't know how i would react unless I experience that situation myself, so I don't know if I would leave them. I would feel as if everything in the relationship so far would have been a lie, or at the very least a cover up of the truth, and personally, that is one thing that would absolutely break me, to know that even if I had been entirely honest and up front before, they hadn't

Reply 34

judogainz

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

Because it would be weird. I like to date men. A woman who has 'transitioned' is not a man.

date me then aye aye

i agree

Reply 35

okey

Original post by L'absurde

So you're telling me if you fell for a woman and found her attractive you'd lose all love and attraction for her is she's trans?

I'd lose physical attraction, which is an important part of a relationship so the relationship would be over

Reply 36

Bupdeeboowah

Original post by Alrounder79

So you wouldn't even consider a cis female who was infertile? What if you suddenly were infertile, would you never want a child?

Yes. While it's all nice to say that one should be with another person whom one loves, my spouse's fertility and the want for biological children is still a major consideration, and ignoring it at the outset of the relationship will only just lead on to future frustration and discontent.

If I were suddenly infertile, then I can't really complain if people refuse to enter into a relationship with me for the exact reasons I mentioned. Nor would I think it be possible for me to wholeheartedly accept an adopted/surrogate baby as my child.

Yes, I am a cold-hearted person, but I am completely at peace with that.