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Leaving Islam/ telling my family I'm athiest? watch

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    I come from a fairly liberal Muslim family in London. I don't wear Hijab and I don't pray. My family aren't bad people, but they really do have high expectations for me. My mum says everyday that she knows I'll be great and that she prays everyday that I'll be successful. My siblings are more the issue though, they also have high expectations and have recently become more practising. I know I should wait till I'm old enough to move out (I'm still in school), but it's been a few weeks since I've come to realise of my atheism and I'm already going crazy. I have studied Islam in depth and there's many things I believe are wrong and disagree with. I'm going to ask you not to post any Qur'an verses, even though I know someone will. What can I do to prepare myself to tell them I'm atheist? And how should I tell them? I can already see what my life is going to be if I don't leave Islam soon. I'll only carry on living my miserable life, doing things I don't believe and passing those beliefs to my children who'll have to live the miserable life I did. I respect Islam and Muslims, but I really do have strong views about things on the dark side of religion that everyone seems to overlook. I got into a really heated argument once with a friend who said that being gay is a choice because it says that nobody is born gay in the Quran. I have my own morals and I don't need religion to keep me in place.
    Has anyone else ever left Islam, and if so how did your family react?
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    Thats intense. i'd say ask your parents questions about all of the things you question about islam. This might shed some light on your decision as to wether you actually want to leave Islam. And also it might be a stepping stone into making them aware of your decision! Best of Luck and
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    (Original post by Salx.x)
    I come from a fairly liberal Muslim family in London. I don't wear Hijab and I don't pray. My family aren't bad people, but they really do have high expectations for me. My mum says everyday that she knows I'll be great and that she prays everyday that I'll be successful. My siblings are more the issue though, they also have high expectations and have recently become more practising. I know I should wait till I'm old enough to move out (I'm still in school), but it's been a few weeks since I've come to realise of my atheism and I'm already going crazy. I have studied Islam in depth and there's many things I believe are wrong and disagree with. I'm going to ask you not to post any Qur'an verses, even though I know someone will. What can I do to prepare myself to tell them I'm atheist? And how should I tell them? I can already see what my life is going to be if I don't leave Islam soon. I'll only carry on living my miserable life, doing things I don't believe and passing those beliefs to my children who'll have to live the miserable life I did. I respect Islam and Muslims, but I really do have strong views about things on the dark side of religion that everyone seems to overlook. I got into a really heated argument once with a friend who said that being gay is a choice because it says that nobody is born gay in the Quran. I have my own morals and I don't need religion to keep me in place.
    Has anyone else ever left Islam, and if so how did your family react?
    it's been a few weeks. stop reading this forum for a month and you'll change your mind.
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    (Original post by Salx.x)
    I come from a fairly liberal Muslim family in London. I don't wear Hijab and I don't pray. My family aren't bad people, but they really do have high expectations for me. My mum says everyday that she knows I'll be great and that she prays everyday that I'll be successful. My siblings are more the issue though, they also have high expectations and have recently become more practising. I know I should wait till I'm old enough to move out (I'm still in school), but it's been a few weeks since I've come to realise of my atheism and I'm already going crazy. I have studied Islam in depth and there's many things I believe are wrong and disagree with. I'm going to ask you not to post any Qur'an verses, even though I know someone will. What can I do to prepare myself to tell them I'm atheist? And how should I tell them? I can already see what my life is going to be if I don't leave Islam soon. I'll only carry on living my miserable life, doing things I don't believe and passing those beliefs to my children who'll have to live the miserable life I did. I respect Islam and Muslims, but I really do have strong views about things on the dark side of religion that everyone seems to overlook. I got into a really heated argument once with a friend who said that being gay is a choice because it says that nobody is born gay in the Quran. I have my own morals and I don't need religion to keep me in place.
    Has anyone else ever left Islam, and if so how did your family react?
    I need a quote from Quran!!!
    can u do this
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    I think you should not in any case risk your future if you think your parents may take it too badly. I understand it's difficult to just pretend but if I were you I'd do it when I'm independent.

    If, however, you think they may just be dissatisfied (and just that) go ahead and tell them straight - it'll be tough but that's life!
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    Just don't make the wrong decision
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    Is it really important to you that your parents know you're leaving Islam? (congratulations, by the way!) if not you might want to keep it quiet just in case they take it badly.
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    (Original post by Salx.x)
    I come from a fairly liberal Muslim family in London. I don't wear Hijab and I don't pray. My family aren't bad people, but they really do have high expectations for me. My mum says everyday that she knows I'll be great and that she prays everyday that I'll be successful. My siblings are more the issue though, they also have high expectations and have recently become more practising. I know I should wait till I'm old enough to move out (I'm still in school), but it's been a few weeks since I've come to realise of my atheism and I'm already going crazy. I have studied Islam in depth and there's many things I believe are wrong and disagree with. I'm going to ask you not to post any Qur'an verses, even though I know someone will. What can I do to prepare myself to tell them I'm atheist? And how should I tell them? I can already see what my life is going to be if I don't leave Islam soon. I'll only carry on living my miserable life, doing things I don't believe and passing those beliefs to my children who'll have to live the miserable life I did. I respect Islam and Muslims, but I really do have strong views about things on the dark side of religion that everyone seems to overlook. I got into a really heated argument once with a friend who said that being gay is a choice because it says that nobody is born gay in the Quran. I have my own morals and I don't need religion to keep me in place.
    Has anyone else ever left Islam, and if so how did your family react?

    I'm in the exact same position, i'm atheist but have to pretend i'm a muslim
    I just started university
    it can be very frustrating when anyone talks about religion because you're just thinking in your head "none of this applies to me, I don't really care, I don't believe it" etc

    but, for your own safety you have to keep shtum for now, just grin and bear it

    As you get older, start thinking about finding a part time job and saving money, and do well and get a proper job for yourself too whatever route you're taking, if you're going to uni start really early thinking about careers etc.

    Then once you've got a good amount saved up and you've got a new job after uni (I know it's a long time away), you've got to leave without telling anyone

    and then maybe contact them some way or leave a note telling them you're an atheist and you've left

    you really can't do it with them or sitting down because some muslim parents can be quite extreme when it comes to leaving the religion, they'll never treat you the same etc.
    even if they're nice and love you, you can't take the risk
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    (Original post by Salx.x)
    I come from a fairly liberal Muslim family in London. I don't wear Hijab and I don't pray. My family aren't bad people, but they really do have high expectations for me. My mum says everyday that she knows I'll be great and that she prays everyday that I'll be successful. My siblings are more the issue though, they also have high expectations and have recently become more practising. I know I should wait till I'm old enough to move out (I'm still in school), but it's been a few weeks since I've come to realise of my atheism and I'm already going crazy. I have studied Islam in depth and there's many things I believe are wrong and disagree with. I'm going to ask you not to post any Qur'an verses, even though I know someone will. What can I do to prepare myself to tell them I'm atheist? And how should I tell them? I can already see what my life is going to be if I don't leave Islam soon. I'll only carry on living my miserable life, doing things I don't believe and passing those beliefs to my children who'll have to live the miserable life I did. I respect Islam and Muslims, but I really do have strong views about things on the dark side of religion that everyone seems to overlook. I got into a really heated argument once with a friend who said that being gay is a choice because it says that nobody is born gay in the Quran. I have my own morals and I don't need religion to keep me in place.
    Has anyone else ever left Islam, and if so how did your family react?
    Why would you have to pass on the beliefs to your children if you don't believe them? When you have your own family you'll be able to bring your children up as you please.

    Concerning leaving Islam and publicly admitting this, I'd urge you to assess your familial situation. I presume you know how your parents and siblings would react to the news? If you suspect they'll kick you out and/or beat you then the best course of action unfortunately is to carry on pretending until you're financially independent.

    You may also be interested in posting on the TSR Ex-Muslim society where many members have had similar experiences to you and would be in a good position to give you advice.
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    Philosophically ponder and you will realise that science will never realistically explain where the Universe came from, even from (unsatisfactory) theories, and God is probable to exist; arrogant New Atheists feel that people use God as a miracle answer to the question of the universe, however it is the most logical answer, and based upon this, as much as it displeases many, religion actually makes sense and provides moral, social, psychological and spiritual order in people and society much to its benefit. Many theists are too lazy to question their belief (to later affirm it), and many atheists are too lazy and too arrogant in their 'intellectual' superiority and belief of self-suffiency to consider that a God exists and sustains everything...
    Having almost been atheist once, I understand how 'liberating' and 'logical' it feels; upon reflection it is just the lazy man's way of ignoring the question of fundemental origin.

    Perhaps one day you will realise that your family are not just sheep in flock following the crowd, and realise that the liberal YOLO atheists are exactly what they accuse the religiously minded of being...
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    --
    She has already made her decision and she is not asking for advice with regards to the religion.

    Please stop.
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    (Original post by FaisalNaeem03)
    SHIIIIIATTTS about to get real...
    what a sensitive response to make
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    I totally know that feeling, same situation here, although my family isn't religious. It took me years to understand and accept my atheism however it was extremely difficult to think this myself, let alone tell my family ! My parents don't know, but it's not someone I feel pressured to tell them. They have their beliefs and I have mine, but under their roof I will not say judge their beliefs. As I said before, my family isn't religious at all so it's easy for me. Good luck though
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    (Original post by xGCSE_Studentx)
    what a sensitive response to make
    don't even know what to say..
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Philosophically ponder and you will realise that science will never realistically explain where the Universe came from, even from (unsatisfactory) theories, and God is probable to exist Interesting theorem - looking forward to the supporting proof; arrogant New Atheists feel that people use God as a miracle answer to the question of the universe, however it is the most logical answer, and based upon this, as much as it displeases many, religion actually makes sense Proof? and provides moral, social, psychological and spiritual order in people and society much to its benefit This is not exclusive to religion. Many theists are too lazy to question their belief (to later affirm it), and many atheists are too lazy and too arrogant in their 'intellectual' superiority and belief of self-suffiency to consider that a God exists and sustains everything...
    Having almost been atheist once, I understand how 'liberating' and 'logical' it feels; upon reflection it is just the lazy man's way of ignoring the question of fundemental origin.

    Perhaps one day you will realise that your family are not just sheep in flock following the crowd She has already said that she respects her family regardless of their religion; she is making choices about her own beliefs , and realise that the liberal YOLO atheists are exactly what they accuse the religiously minded of being...
    As someone who has actually studied philosophy for academic purposes, I would like to point out to you that the essential problem faced by both theists and atheists is the intangibility of the metaphysical. There is no empirical evidence to support the existence of the metaphysical, and there is no metaphysical theory which can be shown to produce the physical world. Thus, from my position, anyone who decides to claim that there either certainly is, or is not a God is simply oblivious to the true issues involved.
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    Since you're still in school, I'd recommend maybe not mentioning it to anyone until you're a bit older (they may dismiss you as being young and unwise - maybe even call it a "phase") I'm a muslim, and I applaud you for researching more about your thoughts and feelings towards islam, and for reaching a conclusion you feel comfortable with. Not everyone that grows up in an islamic environment will turn out to be devout muslims, and it's better to whole heartedly follow something you believe in than to pretend to follow something you don't.
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    The penalty for apostasy is death.
    Though this won't happen to you in Britain, you will be castigated and exiled from your community, and by extension your pillar of moral and financial support. As per aforementioned advice, certainly come out, but only once you have financial independence. Doing anything else at the present moment is societal suicide.
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    (Original post by Salx.x)
    I come from a fairly liberal Muslim family in London. I don't wear Hijab and I don't pray. My family aren't bad people, but they really do have high expectations for me. My mum says everyday that she knows I'll be great and that she prays everyday that I'll be successful. My siblings are more the issue though, they also have high expectations and have recently become more practising. I know I should wait till I'm old enough to move out (I'm still in school), but it's been a few weeks since I've come to realise of my atheism and I'm already going crazy. I have studied Islam in depth and there's many things I believe are wrong and disagree with. I'm going to ask you not to post any Qur'an verses, even though I know someone will. What can I do to prepare myself to tell them I'm atheist? And how should I tell them? I can already see what my life is going to be if I don't leave Islam soon. I'll only carry on living my miserable life, doing things I don't believe and passing those beliefs to my children who'll have to live the miserable life I did. I respect Islam and Muslims, but I really do have strong views about things on the dark side of religion that everyone seems to overlook. I got into a really heated argument once with a friend who said that being gay is a choice because it says that nobody is born gay in the Quran. I have my own morals and I don't need religion to keep me in place.
    Has anyone else ever left Islam, and if so how did your family react?
    An athiest is the one who does not believe in gods.. u r quite small now for making such a big decision. I would recommend u to understand the verses of Quraan.. & ask for guidance from Aalims(islamic scholars).. Th age at which u r now is the age of getting misleaded or u cant understand what is ri8 and what is wrong.. before doing anything just think of the AZAAB from Allah to the people who didnot follow Allah..
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    (Original post by Muhammad Shehzar)
    An athiest is the one who does not believe in gods.. u r quite small now for making such a big decision. I would recommend u to understand the verses of Quraan.. & ask for guidance from Aalims(islamic scholars).. Th age at which u r now is the age of getting misleaded or u cant understand what is ri8 and what is wrong.. before doing anything just think of the AZAAB from Allah to the people who didnot follow Allah..
    I understand that you're trying to help her out, but please she has made her decision. She can always go back, right now it's not what she's looking for.
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    (Original post by Muhammad Shehzar)
    An athiest is the one who does not believe in gods.. u r quite small now for making such a big decision. I would recommend u to understand the verses of Quraan.. & ask for guidance from Aalims(islamic scholars).. Th age at which u r now is the age of getting misleaded or u cant understand what is ri8 and what is wrong.. before doing anything just think of the AZAAB from Allah to the people who didnot follow Allah..
    I'm not Islamically literate, so to speak, but was that last part a threat? "Just think of what happened to people who didn't follow Allah in the Qur'an (in terms of punishment)?"
 
 
 
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