I constantly worry. I worry in work, I get a fear feeling always im doing something wrong, I have to check and check to make sure I'm doing nothing wrong. I constantly feel on edge and anxious, and I worry about everything and anything. I also have to know the reason in everything. Why he/she say that? Why did that happen? Why did he/ she look at me like that? Literally everything I have to find answers in. An example of this is with a girl I like. Like why did she do that? Did she do it because she likes another guy? Why did she look that way then the other way? Why did she look at me first then looked at another guy? Why did she do that, was it to cheer up the other guy, she must like him?
Also after I say something, at the time, I feel it's fine but as I look over it and over in my mind, I think I sounded stupid and said the wrong thing and people thought what an idiot. This is also very common with the girl I like. Everything I say to her, i repeat in my head afterwards determing how I came across and how she reacted. If someone is quiet than usual, I think it's because of me, I have done wrong, and I go over the day to see where I may have done or said something. I always think people have a secret motive to get me. Like if someone is unusually nice I suspect them straight away that they secretly dislike me and putting up a false front and are acting this way so i don't suspect. I'm constantly scared of someone not liking me, I'm always trying to please people. IF I get the feeling someone doesn't like me, it bothers me and I start looking at myself, the way I talk, or react or say stuff etc etc. I fear people, and doing something to upset people. If I feel i said the wrong thing, I worry and worry they don't likeme until I see them the next time to make things ok again. Even though there was nothing to worry about in first place.
I wake up every morning with a fast paced heart and feeling knotted up inside.
Does anyone else think like this? I can't be normal? I used to be so care free, and didn't think as much about everything like I do now. I can't free my mind.
Loughborough at number one