Should we break up?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
Me and my boyfriend both love each other but recently a problem has been bugging us. We both want completely different career paths, we are worried this will drive us apart and we might have to break up in the future. He thinks this is very likely to happen and thinks if we break up now after a year of dating it will be easier and less painful than in a few years time when we've finished university.

Personally, I don't think we'll end up in jobs that far away, but his mind is set that it will no matter how much I try to explain.

tldr: boyfriend and i want different careers, should we stay together in case it all works out or stop seeing each other to minimize possible heartbreak

Should we break up?
0
reply
Awesome Genius
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#2
Report 5 years ago
#2
Why do people think about relationships so strategically, whatever happened to falling in love?
2
reply
DarkMagic
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#3
Report 5 years ago
#3
Why would the different career paths mean you should break up? Most couples I know don't have the same jobs. Is it because one (or both) involves a lot of travel or working unsocial hours?

Personally, I would try to make it work but it looks like your bf has made his mind up based on what you've said in your OP.
0
reply
candycaneland500
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#4
Report 5 years ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my boyfriend both love each other but recently a problem has been bugging us. We both want completely different career paths, we are worried this will drive us apart and we might have to break up in the future. He thinks this is very likely to happen and thinks if we break up now after a year of dating it will be easier and less painful than in a few years time when we've finished university.

Personally, I don't think we'll end up in jobs that far away, but his mind is set that it will no matter how much I try to explain.

tldr: boyfriend and i want different careers, should we stay together in case it all works out or stop seeing each other to minimize possible heartbreak

Should we break up?
if u love each other than it should not matter if u are doing different jobs. unless one or both of your jobs involve travelling then it might be an issue. but dont break up just go with the flow and see what happens
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#5
(Original post by DarkMagic)
Why would the different career paths mean you should break up? Most couples I know don't have the same jobs. Is it because one (or both) involves a lot of travel or working unsocial hours?

Personally, I would try to make it work but it looks like your bf has made his mind up based on what you've said in your OP.
(Original post by candycaneland500)
if u love each other than it should not matter if u are doing different jobs. unless one or both of your jobs involve travelling then it might be an issue. but dont break up just go with the flow and see what happens
mine might involve travelling, that's the issue

I'm going to do a language degree which involves a year abroad which I know we're strong enough to get through however he seems to think after university I will be moving to that country which I don't want to as the pay is kind of sh*tty to foreigners. He says I'm not thinking properly and I shouldn't give things up for him when I know I'm not giving anything up. I don't know how to make him understand this
0
reply
doodle_333
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#6
Report 5 years ago
#6
you've no idea whether or not this will be a problem right now so why would you break up pre emptively? that's like saying 'oh I'm worried that in 3 years my boyfriend might cheat on me so I'm going to break up with him now just in case'
1
reply
candycaneland500
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#7
Report 5 years ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
mine might involve travelling, that's the issue

I'm going to do a language degree which involves a year abroad which I know we're strong enough to get through however he seems to think after university I will be moving to that country which I don't want to as the pay is kind of sh*tty to foreigners. He says I'm not thinking properly and I shouldn't give things up for him when I know I'm not giving anything up. I don't know how to make him understand this
i know you dont want to hear this but it seems like he dont really want to be in a relationship anymore and is just finding excuses to breakup with u
0
reply
User264792
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#8
Report 5 years ago
#8
(Original post by candycaneland500)
i know you dont want to hear this but it seems like he dont really want to be in a relationship anymore and is just finding excuses to breakup with u
I'm afraid you might be right. A relationship like this will only work if both sides are willing to back it.
0
reply
candycaneland500
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#9
Report 5 years ago
#9
(Original post by STARRS)
I'm afraid you might be right. A relationship like this will only work if both sides are willing to back it.
yeah i know my ex was like this as well
0
reply
frozen_fire
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#10
Report 5 years ago
#10
(Original post by candycaneland500)
i know you dont want to hear this but it seems like he dont really want to be in a relationship anymore and is just finding excuses to breakup with u
My thoughts exactly. His reasoning seems to be a complete non-issue and it sounds like he is trying to frame the break up as some sort of mutually convenient decision.

Posted from TSR Mobile
0
reply
candycaneland500
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#11
Report 5 years ago
#11
(Original post by frozen_fire)
My thoughts exactly. His reasoning seems to be a complete non-issue and it sounds like he is trying to frame the break up as some sort of mutually convenient decision.

Posted from TSR Mobile
yep exactly. OP should just break up with her bf if he is not willing to be in a relationship
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#12
I explained this wrong I'm sorry.. neither of us want to break up at all but he feels guilty because he has the wrong idea about my giving up a job for him. I know it can sound like he's trying to blame this as a reason to break up but it's notYes I know it's years away but it'll be harder to break up with 5 years together rather than 1 :/
0
reply
frozen_fire
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#13
Report 5 years ago
#13
Even if it is a potential barrier, it's so far into the future that it's not even worth thinking about at this moment in time. You are young so just enjoy the relationship. Chances are you might even end up in very different jobs to what you want now.

Posted from TSR Mobile
0
reply
username1623349
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#14
Report 5 years ago
#14
Hi anon, I'm also doing a language degree, whereas my boyfriend wants to be a farmer. Naturally those are two completely different career paths, so I understand where you're coming from. But the way we see it, we love each other enough that we'll work something out - there's no way we're breaking up over something like that. I suggest that you too sit down and talk about working things out. If you can't come to a reasonable conclusion, it might be best for you to call it a day. But talk about it first
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Current uni students - are you thinking of dropping out of university?

Yes, I'm seriously considering dropping out (175)
14.57%
I'm not sure (56)
4.66%
No, I'm going to stick it out for now (350)
29.14%
I have already dropped out (35)
2.91%
I'm not a current university student (585)
48.71%

Watched Threads

View All