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Feeling inadequate and depressed with life watch

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    As a prerequisite, I have a history of anxiety/depression and have had low self esteem for a while.

    I am feeling very depressed at the moment, mostly stemming from not feeling 'adequate' or worthy in relation to a few areas of my life.

    a) I don't feel talented enough or even worthy enough in my vocation, as a prospective 'Graphic Designer'.

    b) I'm emotionally up and down after having been rejected from a job recently, and job-hunting is exacerbating my current state of mind.

    c) Partner lives away, and with this I am trying to find work so I can move in with her (see a).

    d) I hate my job; though trying to move (see c), it is grinding me down.

    Background to issues:
    In relation to (A) I feel rubbish because even after years of using software, and post-uni, and I still feel under par in comparison to my 'designer' mates work. Some of their work is a world apart from mine. I've never felt like a worthy designer. Years of perfectionism and not meeting less than ideal standards in my working life as well as feeling washed up has made me feel depressed. My enjoyment in my vocation has dwindled.

    Part of this has materialised as a lack of effort to keep up with trends, technology, and research. Whenever I design I rarely use new techniques and have a very 'plain jane' way of working- stuck in rut.

    As for (B), I got rejected from a job (which wasn't glamorous) it was a 'means to an end' job that allowed me to move across the country with partner- pay the bills. Whilst, I pursued my real passion in landing a design job. It has knocked me for six and i've felt low ever since.

    (C) My partner lives away and this makes me feel even more frustrated and links in with me not been able to find work....I think I was more down at my job rejection because of not been able to move sooner.

    (D) I hate my job- worked there 8 years with a bunch of immature teenagers (im 25). Its degrading, boring, repetitive and min wage monkey work. Worth much more, but there again- Graphic Design role I want I dunno if I have passion for anymore! :/

    What to do? 25year old Uni Grad. Depressed. In need of advice.
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    I feel the same at times-at a loose end often-try getting a new hobby? Find something you enjoy doing and let nothing/no-one stop you
 
 
 
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