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Teenage depression and does it get better? watch

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    I've really been at a low point the last few weeks where nothing I have done has gone right, I seem to fail at everything, I have little motivation and I'm getting put down by people. I really want to get into university because I know exactly what I want to do and I just want a new start. I'm in year 13 and I'm at the same school I've been at for 7 years (biggest mistake ever). I dread sixth form, one of my teachers told me I should apply to uni but me prepared for all the rejections I'm probably going to get... ?! I have friends and I'm nice to all of them but they always leave me out. I try hard, but it always goes unnoticed. I'm worried my work isn't upto the standards it should be because I feel so down. My school support is crap. They do nothing but say stuff like "you've just got to keep going" and "your A levels are the most important thing"(I HATE it when they say this). The only person in my family who I think understands is my mom because she has suffered with depression, but even then we don't have a close relationship and argue regularly. Everyone else in my family just thinks I'm an absolute misery and don't realise how much I'm hurting. They say i've got 'teenage angst' which i suppose is true upto a point. What I want to know is if I keep going and keep my goal will everything get better? Will I get out of sixth form and meet new people who will actually want to know me?! I swear i am such a nice person and when i'm at work i get along with everyone, in fact i get along with everyone at sixth form it just seems that they exclude me whenever they arrange parties or get togethers. I'm scared of planning anything for myself because everything I do goes wrong and I achieve no happiness. Please tell me it isn't always going to be like this. Any advice or experience from people who know how I feel would be much appreciated. Than you so much.
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    you rely too much on other people for your happiness...
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    I'm in the same boat as you, honestly I think the only way it will get better is once I move away from home and can truly start afresh. I was in the same school from year 7-13 and it was a mistake, but its the only 'decent' school around and I didn't want to go to the next best school with its 800 pupil 6th form so I stayed. I let my depression get the better of me from years 10-13 and as a result felt very unmotivated, missed my predicted grades of As at GCSE (got mostly Cs, couple of Bs and As) and completely flunked my AS and A2 exams, finishing with CCE - no one commented on my underperformance and I was ignored until I started to have hyperventilating panic attacks at school - even then nothing was really done My parents are now paying for me to go to a private cramming school to get the grades I need to go to uni and I feel very guilty as they don't really have the money. I went to the doctors finally when I was in year 13 and they referred me to my schools councillor (which I didn't even know they had :/) which helped a little, but not a lot. I still feel pretty crap, I won't lie, but sometimes I feel better. I think its more about accepting myself than anything, believing that I can do it and I can and should be happy. Best advice is to go to your doctor and have a look at Mind's website: http://www.mind.org.uk/
    Also, screw that teacher, it sounds cheesy, but believe in yourself and you'll be capable of anything
    Good luck, I wish you all the best
    • #2
    #2

    IT DOES GET BETTER!

    I was diagnosed with depression in college after a long time of feeling low, lonely, hated, worthless or just nothingness. I got to a really low point where i even considered some bad things.
    I eventually got put on antidepressants and went to therapy. I can now hardly imagine how bad i was feeling back then.
    its not an easy road, but don't give up.

    Reach out for support from anyone you feel close to, go to a professional to see what they can help you with and talk to your teachers about how you are feeling. (you do t have to do it all at once or right now, start small with something you feel comfortable with).

    look at sites like mind.org for advice and just remember that if you need somebody anonymous to talk to you can always use Samaritans (they have an email where you can just write things out and help make sense of things).

    YOU are the most important thing in your life and anything like A levels can be re-done. Teachers like to put pressure on because I helps alot of people get in gear but don't take it too seriously. Take care of you and you'll find that other stuff gets easier.

    Best wishes. xx
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    I'm so sorry OP (Anonymous) that you've had to go through this. A levels are incredibly difficult and it's understandable that it's a very stressful time for you. That was very rude and thoughtless for your teacher to say you'd be rejected if you applied to university. That's very unfair on you and seems to have added to your already low self esteem regarding your studies and your life. It's also an awful thing that your student support aren't recognising and helping you more positively, as they should do. I think you should bring it up with your head of year/student reps/headteacher.

    I'd recommend going to your GP and getting formally diagnosed, or seeing if they can help or suggest any options such as counselling/medication (I only took medication after months of not wanting to but it honestly has helped me a lot).

    Without being cliche, it is true, it does get better. After sixth form I remained very close friends with some of the nearest and dearest people I was with at my school. University, or work/college/apprenticeship/etc, is a great opportunity, if you take it, to find new friends and get yourself into a happier environment. In my case, university has probably been some of the happiest of my life, despite having depression and anxiety, but I've been looking after myself and receiving a lot of support from friends and the uni support team.

    If you need any help in terms of personal statements/applying for university, I would be more than happy to help since I'm currently a second year at uni and was accepted to my choices. I'd recommend also looking at universities that have very good student support systems in place, in terms of finance, mental health and wellbeing.

    Best of luck to you, I know it's tough but I believe in you and hope you can make it through!
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    It can get better, a lot of people here have already given you some solid advice and I'd like to reiterate the possibility about seeing a counsellor as it could really help.

    I was in a very bad state emotionally from about age 12/13 - around 19 years old and I'm pretty much over all of the depression now, so no it does not have to last forever and you can absolutely get over it you just need to try and help yourself [a lesson that is quite hard to learn sometimes].

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    IT DOES GET BETTER!!!!

    You have a sudden amount of pressure never experienced as a child, as well as a new-found desire to break away and have more freedom. Add this to the sudden changes happening inside you (you will never have such a sudden transformation in your life) and the ridiculous amounts of hormones going around your body. Here I'm generalising the 'typical' teenage experience.

    But seriously - going through that over the space of about 10 years and not feeling a bit crazy would be.... crazy.

    The way I tried to get through it was by reminding myself that it's in my head - teenager-dom was making me feel crazy and depressed, and it would pass with time.
    That's not to say that your feelings are not legitimate - of course they are. Life and s hit happens to people at every age. But if you can put them into the perspective of your teenage years and try to look ahead to when you won't feel like that any more it will be much more manageable.
 
 
 
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