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How to let go of the past? watch

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    I'll be doing something, and all of a sudden I'll just get a flashback from something I did. Normally something cringe worthy, or something awful that I shouldn't have done. Mostly it probably involves alcohol (but there really isn't anything to do besides drink ) Sometimes it's from like 5 years ago, lol. Realistically I know people won't remember something from that long ago, but I can't help feeling like they do. Then my whole day will be ruined, as I'll just be dwelling on this incident. Sometimes I actually start sobbing at something that happened years ago. On occassions, I actually feel suicidal over them. This is basically my whole life, and it happens all of the time. So much so that I actually contemplate never leaving the house again when it does. It's so hard to live like this

    Any advice?
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    Humans are a bit like computers you know?

    Our memories can be overridden with new memories. Small bits and bobs will always remain, but most of it will be gone.

    Make a new environment, make good GOOD friends. Define what a good friend is first, and then look for them. Spend time with them. Learn and create. Don't get stuck in one flat road where you just repeat the past. Help someone. Go further. Have new experiences. And soon you'll realise how insignificant the past is
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    (Original post by Shirogirl)
    Humans are a bit like computers you know?

    Our memories can be overridden with new memories. Small bits and bobs will always remain, but most of it will be gone.

    Make a new environment, make good GOOD friends. Define what a good friend is first, and then look for them. Spend time with them. Learn and create. Don't get stuck in one flat road where you just repeat the past. Help someone. Go further. Have new experiences. And soon you'll realise how insignificant the past is
    repped
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    (Original post by serah.exe)
    just "let it go" - elsa 2k13 never forget
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    Are you having full-on flashbacks, or do you just mean very strong memories? Flashbacks (tactile, visual, etc.) need proper interventions, as it's a marker of PTSD, which can be quite hard to recover from by yourself.

    If you mean bad memories, then those are hard to deal with but do not necessarily need clinical intervention. That said, if it is affecting you to the point that you contemplate suicide, you probably need to tell someone IRL rather than an Internet forum

    I am not too clear on what you are struggling to let go of and everyone's situation is different, but some top tips from the wise old sage that is TLG ( :shakecane: ):

    1. Forgive yourself for your role in whatever happened. This can be a huge part of the healing process imho, and help you get on the road to where you want to be.

    2. Remember that the past is in the past and you cannot go back and change things. As such, the person above is kinda right when they say you need to let it go. There is little point ruminating over things you have no power to change or affect now. Focusing on the present is far more important.

    3. In terms of learning how to focus on the present, you might like to look into mindfulness meditation :yes:

    4. Seek out all the help you deem necessary, including therapy for these suicidal thoughts you are getting :sadnod:


    Good luck!
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    (Original post by Shirogirl)
    Humans are a bit like computers you know?

    Our memories can be overridden with new memories. Small bits and bobs will always remain, but most of it will be gone.

    Make a new environment, make good GOOD friends. Define what a good friend is first, and then look for them. Spend time with them. Learn and create. Don't get stuck in one flat road where you just repeat the past. Help someone. Go further. Have new experiences. And soon you'll realise how insignificant the past is
    Thank you for the advice!

    I do have some good friends. At least I think so. But how would you suggest I make more?

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Are you having full-on flashbacks, or do you just mean very strong memories? Flashbacks (tactile, visual, etc.) need proper interventions, as it's a marker of PTSD, which can be quite hard to recover from by yourself.

    If you mean bad memories, then those are hard to deal with but do not necessarily need clinical intervention. That said, if it is affecting you to the point that you contemplate suicide, you probably need to tell someone IRL rather than an Internet forum

    I am not too clear on what you are struggling to let go of and everyone's situation is different, but some top tips from the wise old sage that is TLG ( :shakecane: ):

    1. Forgive yourself for your role in whatever happened. This can be a huge part of the healing process imho, and help you get on the road to where you want to be.

    2. Remember that the past is in the past and you cannot go back and change things. As such, the person above is kinda right when they say you need to let it go. There is little point ruminating over things you have no power to change or affect now. Focusing on the present is far more important.

    3. In terms of learning how to focus on the present, you might like to look into mindfulness meditation :yes:

    4. Seek out all the help you deem necessary, including therapy for these suicidal thoughts you are getting :sadnod:


    Good luck!
    Thank you for the detailed response!

    They're just very vivid memories, I think. Once I start picturing the events, I can't stop, not until I find something else equally as bad to dwell on I do see a counsellor, but these events are insignificant. They're just stupid things I've said/done, yet they make me feel so depressed. If I told anyone, they'd just think I was stupid worrying so much about these things. Especially when my counsellor sees people with real, traumatic problems. I can't help it, though...

    Ruminating on the past, that's my problem :'( how would you suggest I attempt to get over it?
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    There could be a number of reasons for your ruminating on the past. Maybe you are dissatisfied with your life now and want to be back in the past. maybe you have OCD and fear you 'did something wrong' there. or maybe just an overactive mind!

    I personally go through spells of regretting I didn't try harder socially at uni, it seems to be seasonal, it happened for the first time last year around November and for around 3 whole weeks, my life as it is now just felt so grey and I wanted to be 18 again 9I am now 35) - it came back around a week ago and is not as intense but still there, as daft as it sounds part of me wants to win the Lottery, go to uni again in halls and 'get it right' (one may laugh at a 35 year old doing that but according to Guardian article I read a man in his late 70s lived in halls as a mature student!) Weirdly, outside these spells I couldn't give a tinkers cuss about the past and live in the present!

    In your case I think you need to not stop remembering the past but start putting more of a positive spin on it!
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    (Original post by Save.Me)
    Thank you for the detailed response!

    They're just very vivid memories, I think. Once I start picturing the events, I can't stop, not until I find something else equally as bad to dwell on I do see a counsellor, but these events are insignificant. They're just stupid things I've said/done, yet they make me feel so depressed. If I told anyone, they'd just think I was stupid worrying so much about these things. Especially when my counsellor sees people with real, traumatic problems. I can't help it, though...

    Ruminating on the past, that's my problem :'( how would you suggesthttp://cdncache-a.akamaihd.net/items...rrow-10x10.png I attempt to get over it?
    Def sounds like rumination, which can be hard to deal with I'm glad you're in counselling and think you should confide in your counsellor about it - a good counsellor would not think badly of you, and would want to help! :yes:

    I think you should ask for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy). One of the things CBT teaches you is how to not get into/break out of negative thought spirals like these :yes:
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    Let the past go like Rose let jack go.

    Gone but never forgotten
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    (Original post by serah.exe)
    ill nevr let u go juk
    girl, hop onto the floating carcasses and let's visit shrek's swamp

    #flirtingskillzonpointtho
 
 
 
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