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    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    My 1st date with this guy went really well. We had a connection, was excited to see him again.
    We met up a couple of days later for a halloween night out. I knew in advance he was going to an 'after party' after the club with friends and I was fine with that. It's when he was in the club with me, knowing we only had a short time together that night, he spent 90% of it outside smoking leaving me to hold his beer/keep the table. I was not happy about this and tried not to say anything at first...

    After about 2 hours of him disappearing for long periods of time and only spending a few minutes with me before going out to smoke/going to the bar yet again, some of my friends arrived. Just in time as I was close to tears.
    When he came back inside, I asked him if he wants to meet my friends and he said yeah. So he said hi to one, and then went straight back out to smoke again.. he was away for 30 minutes.
    It does not take so long to smoke a cigarette, and this was getting ridiculous and my friends didn't wait around for him to come back in. I went outside and saw him talking to his friend who was dealing drugs at the time. I didn't see him helping to sell or buying from him, but the amount of time he was out there I have no idea what happened. I asked him what's going on and explained I'm not happy, and I'm not a 'beer holder.' He told me he's not had a weekend off work in a long time and is catching up with old friends before going to the party. He said he does like me but wants to spend time with his friends too. He left for the party around midnight.. quite early for an 'after party'

    He could have introduced me to his friends or told me what's going on out there, as he's clearly doing more than smoking. It's 7pm the next day and I've not heard a word from him. Additionally, I heard from a friend this party he went to was a 'sex party'.. thought I don't know if that part is true or not.

    Is there any point forgiving him if he comes back from this? Obviously he and I are not in a relationship or anything at this point but I'm not going to be treated like this. I did really like him and I'm upset. I just wanted to vent this out and see if anyone could give me any advice on how to handle this. I'm so confused, he was so lovely and seemed serious about me on the 1st date, but now he gets drunk and screws everything up so soon..
    • #2

    It says something about his character so I wouldn't meet with him again.

    a) he smokes
    b) he's friends with druggies
    c) he'd rather spend time outside than talking to you

    Yeah, I'd give up on this guy.

    you can do so much better than him. if this was meant to be a 'second date' of sorts then it sounds like it went horribly and you'd be better off moving on so you can find someone worth your time!!!
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