Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I need help!!
    I always seem to find myself getting too invested in a guy very early on, and I just end up breaking my heart over and over and over again. What do I do?
    Like this guy I met two weeks ago, we've met up a good few times, things going well then today we had an argument and I cannot stop crying! Like this is not normal!
    I'm just out of a very serious relationship if that's anything, but I can't keep doing thiss to myself!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Hey, try to take things slower and get to know people better before you place so much trust in them, arguments are a natural part of any relationship and too much familiarity (or too little) can cause them, it's a good idea to maintain some distance in the beginning so try pacing it out, only meet once a week for a month (for about 3 hours), it sounds really slow and bad but if you meet someone who is willing to wait to spend time with you, you can count on them to wait when things go badly. I speak from experience of having a crash and burn relationship recently.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I need help!!
    I always seem to find myself getting too invested in a guy very early on, and I just end up breaking my heart over and over and over again. What do I do?
    Like this guy I met two weeks ago, we've met up a good few times, things going well then today we had an argument and I cannot stop crying! Like this is not normal!
    I'm just out of a very serious relationship if that's anything, but I can't keep doing thiss to myself!
    Better yourself before going into a relationship.

    Pursue your interests and become a person you can respect and love.

    Only then should you enter into a relationship.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Hold some of yourself back and expect the worst. Pessimism can be good for you in this instance.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    all guys are d1ckheads just don't near them trust
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    asl?
    Offline

    20
    (Original post by kantdothis)
    Hold some of yourself back and expect the worst. Pessimism can be good for you in this instance.
    Agreed.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by whorace)
    Hey, try to take things slower and get to know people better before you place so much trust in them, arguments are a natural part of any relationship and too much familiarity (or too little) can cause them, it's a good idea to maintain some distance in the beginning so try pacing it out, only meet once a week for a month (for about 3 hours), it sounds really slow and bad but if you meet someone who is willing to wait to spend time with you, you can count on them to wait when things go badly. I speak from experience of having a crash and burn relationship recently.
    This is actually the best advice ever. I completely agree with this. I took similar steps with my current boyfriend and I really think it's played a big part in why we've worked out so well. My previous relationships ended badly because we really rushed in.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Kagutsuchi)
    Better yourself before going into a relationship.

    Pursue your interests and become a person you can respect and love.

    Only then should you enter into a relationship.
    I really agree with this too. Remembering to do this when my boyfriend returned to Germany over summer really helped me to deal because I felt a lot stronger and more independent.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I need help!!
    I always seem to find myself getting too invested in a guy very early on, and I just end up breaking my heart over and over and over again. What do I do?
    Like this guy I met two weeks ago, we've met up a good few times, things going well then today we had an argument and I cannot stop crying! Like this is not normal!
    I'm just out of a very serious relationship if that's anything, but I can't keep doing thiss to myself!
    I'm 21, and a guy, and we do it to! People do it, you just need to be more guarded tbh. People are ****ty, I've been hurt, I've hurt people, and I've learnt that you just need to be more protective of yourself, because most of the time people only look out for number 1, and you'll know a few months into talking to someone if they don't, but never straight away, just bare that in mind!
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I need help!!
    I always seem to find myself getting too invested in a guy very early on, and I just end up breaking my heart over and over and over again. What do I do?
    Like this guy I met two weeks ago, we've met up a good few times, things going well then today we had an argument and I cannot stop crying! Like this is not normal!
    I'm just out of a very serious relationship if that's anything, but I can't keep doing thiss to myself!
    had a friend like this you don't need to worry, i know it sounds cliche but you actually do need to focus on yourself for a bit, i know right now you wouldn't be able to just drop this guy youre seeing but IF at some point it does end with him (not saying it will) just take time to yourself don't get a new guy too quick even if you feel youre ready take some time
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by godivaontherocks)
    This is actually the best advice ever. I completely agree with this. I took similar steps with my current boyfriend and I really think it's played a big part in why we've worked out so well. My previous relationships ended badly because we really rushed in.
    I wish I had understood this sooner, sigh. I agree with the other point as well about focusing on yourself, to use a metaphor, if you think of life as a pyramid, at the base you should have things like family, health and leisure, important things you need to have before you pursue relationships. Relationships should only come after you have a solid base otherwise you risk dependence on them to fill some sort of void which creates an environment of fear and uncertainty not mutual progress, relationships quickly die due to boredom as well and having a solid base can significantly reduce boredom by adding variety to life.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Stay away from them.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by whorace)
    I wish I had understood this sooner, sigh. I agree with the other point as well about focusing on yourself, to use a metaphor, if you think of life as a pyramid, at the base you should have things like family, health and leisure, important things you need to have before you pursue relationships. Relationships should only come after you have a solid base otherwise you risk dependence on them to fill some sort of void which creates an environment of fear and uncertainty not mutual progress, relationships quickly die due to boredom as well and having a solid base can significantly reduce boredom by adding variety to life.
    You're spot on there. That's exactly it. Without having those essential things and a strong sense of identity and self-respect, a person can easily become too dependent or the relationship can fall apart because of insecurities etc. I think the relationships that tend to last the longest are those where deep friendship is the foundation there.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 1, 2015
Poll
Do you like carrot cake?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.