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    My boyfriend is away on a 'long holiday' and will not be back for the foreseeable future. However his sister is really ill and everyone has been hiding it from him. I told him on the condition that he keeps it between us. I didn't think it was fair for him to not know about how bad things are, and he promised not to mention it to anyone. However he literally IMMEDIATELY called his mother and told him everything I'd said. Is is understandable for me to be pissed off?
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    Well what else did you expect him to do?
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    (Original post by +CompSci+)
    Well what else did you expect him to do?
    He'd promised not to mention it to his family because they've been hiding it from him - he promised to wait until they mentioned it to him
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend is away on a 'long holiday' and will not be back for the foreseeable future. However his sister is really ill and everyone has been hiding it from him. I told him on the condition that he keeps it between us. I didn't think it was fair for him to not know about how bad things are, and he promised not to mention it to anyone. However he literally IMMEDIATELY called his mother and told him everything I'd said. Is is understandable for me to be pissed off?
    Did his sister also want it hidden from him?
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    (Original post by +CompSci+)
    Well what else did you expect him to do?
    This :sigh:
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    (Original post by Lucasium)
    Did his sister also want it hidden from him?
    she doesn't care - it's only his mother who didn't want him to know
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    Although hes in the wrong for breaking your agreement, his reaction is pretty understandable and id probably do the same.
    I doubt he really cares about whats fair and whats not fair atm, since all that matters to him right now is not being told his own sister is really ill.
    Although you might be upset (quite rightly so, breaking promises isnt very nice no matter how big/small the thing is), I'm assuming he just hopes you understand why he did what he did and let it go.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    she doesn't care - it's only his mother who didn't want him to know
    It's pretty obvious why, I mean no mother would like to share bad news with any of her children. Because the last thing that a mother wants to see is her own children suffering.
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    Screw what the mother wants, his sister didn't care so you shouldn't feel bad about telling him. You are not in the wrong
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He'd promised not to mention it to his family because they've been hiding it from him - he promised to wait until they mentioned it to him
    Lol. Seriously, he is not in the wrong.
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    (Original post by Lucasium)
    Screw what the mother wants, his sister didn't care so you shouldn't feel bad about telling him. You are not in the wrong
    This is what I thought - his sister doesn't mind but his mother has been going to great lengths to hide it. I feel upset that he broke my trust, because the condition was that his mother doesn't know he knows
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    He's wrong imo. Don't make promises you can't keep
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is what I thought - his sister doesn't mind but his mother has been going to great lengths to hide it. I feel upset that he broke my trust, because the condition was that his mother doesn't know he knows
    well... you kinda broke his mother's trust and if i were him mother>you so...

    that was a jerk move tbh
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    (Original post by Zahid~)
    Although hes in the wrong for breaking your agreement, his reaction is pretty understandable and id probably do the same.
    I doubt he really cares about whats fair and whats not fair atm, since all that matters to him right now is not being told his own sister is really ill.
    Although you might be upset (quite rightly so, breaking promises isnt very nice no matter how big/small the thing is), I'm assuming he just hopes you understand why he did what he did and let it go.
    I understand but I'm still really hurt by it. I also feel like he could have asked his sister about it seeing as she didn't mind him knowing and only didn't because her mother pushed her not to. The whole condition was that his mother didn't know he knows, so I'm feeling really low because I feel like they won't trust me anymore. I've also recently been diagnosed with depression, so when I feel low it gets incredibly exacerbated
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    Update: I pulled his mother over and explained that I'd told him and she said I did the right thing, because somebody needed to tell him but she was too scared to. So she's grateful to me for biting the bullet and doing it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Update: I pulled his mother over and explained that I'd told him and she said I did the right thing, because somebody needed to tell him but she was too scared to. So she's grateful to me for biting the bullet and doing it
    Neither of you were in the wrong anyway, he had to know.
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    You both are equally. Whether that means either of you are or not is a different matter, but neither is more innocent in this situation than the other.
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    I think it was wrong for him to do that, especially since he had promised that he wouldn't. Like someone else had mentioned earlier, it doesn't matter how big or small it is, it can still be very heartbreaking. I don't think you're in the wrong, he has just as much right to know as anyone else in his family. Don't let this dishearten you too much.
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    I think its fair enough like its his actual sister
 
 
 
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