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    Hey so I'm currently doing the October Ncs programme and i was really excited to do it because ild be with my guy best friend who I hardly see because he went to a different sixth form to me.
    At Ncs he met this girl and he basically only spoke to me about her and it annoyed me maybe because I like him idk and this girl doesn't like me because she thinks I'm getting in the way of her friendship/relationship with my guy bestfriend. And now he has chosen her over me and never speaks to me our conversations are so awkward and we've had an argument about this where he's said he won't apologize because he doesn't understand why I feel like he's forgotten about me and when I said "this conversation is pointless bye" he responded with "idc if you walk out of my life bye" we've become so distant now and he honestly doesn't care about me I've literally had to put so much effort into our friendship by constantly being the first person to start a conversation ect and he couldn't care less because he's found a girl he just met forgetting about how we've been close for years.
    My friends have said to ignore him until his fling with this girl is over because they all doubt it will last but I think they will last and idc if they do go out I just miss my bestfriend and idk what to do I'm considering ignoring him until the last day of the Ncs program and to then ask him what's going on but idk?
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    someone help please, do I wait until he speaks to me or do I just never speak to him again


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    Er wtf...? "Guy best friend"?

    You're annoyed and jealous that he's gotten another girl in his life that he cares about both emotionally and physically? Then why don't you just date him so he's all yours?

    If not, then he can date who he likes and his attention will go to them.
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    What happens when guys go in the friendzone...
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    Er wtf...? "Guy best friend"?

    You're annoyed and jealous that he's gotten another girl in his life that he cares about both emotionally and physically? Then why don't you just date him so he's all yours?

    If not, then he can date who he likes and his attention will go to them.
    I don't want to date him because it would just ruin our friendship but thank you I guess I'll just leave him


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    Things are pretty heated between you at the moment and the easiest option is to just walk away.

    Sometimes you lose the connection that you used to have with friends when you go to different 6th forms / university, and ever since you went your seperate ways you've said that you've had to work a lot harder and you're not seeing any willingness for him to start conversations or pay you attention. That's a sign to just give the friendship up as it isn't going to work.

    Being stuck in a triangle sucks and if they're both against you at the minute then there's not much you can do.

    If anything, I would suggest saying nothing, and on the last day or through text or social media, admit that you had feelings for him and you're sorry about how things happened the way they did, goodbye.

    ...and I think that you should let your feelings for him die out. Or at the very least, cut off contact, because at the moment if he's into that person there's nothing you can/should do.
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    (Original post by cathartic)
    Hey so I'm currently doing the October Ncs programme and i was really excited to do it because ild be with my guy best friend who I hardly see because he went to a different sixth form to me.
    At Ncs he met this girl and he basically only spoke to me about her and it annoyed me maybe because I like him idk and this girl doesn't like me because she thinks I'm getting in the way of her friendship/relationship with my guy bestfriend. And now he has chosen her over me and never speaks to me our conversations are so awkward and we've had an argument about this where he's said he won't apologize because he doesn't understand why I feel like he's forgotten about me and when I said "this conversation is pointless bye" he responded with "idc if you walk out of my life bye" we've become so distant now and he honestly doesn't care about me I've literally had to put so much effort into our friendship by constantly being the first person to start a conversation ect and he couldn't care less because he's found a girl he just met forgetting about how we've been close for years.
    My friends have said to ignore him until his fling with this girl is over because they all doubt it will last but I think they will last and idc if they do go out I just miss my bestfriend and idk what to do I'm considering ignoring him until the last day of the Ncs program and to then ask him what's going on but idk?
    He is not psychic. If you don't tell him how you really feel, then he will obviously think it is ok to leave you, and go and talk to another girl. He only considers you as a FRIEND, which is probably why he couldn't understand why he had to apologize.
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    (Original post by cathartic)
    someone help please, do I wait until he speaks to me or do I just never speak to him again


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    Toss a coin Heads: you wait Tails: never speak

    50p works best.
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    (Original post by cathartic)
    Hey so I'm currently doing the October Ncs programme and i was really excited to do it because ild be with my guy best friend who I hardly see because he went to a different sixth form to me.
    At Ncs he met this girl and he basically only spoke to me about her and it annoyed me maybe because I like him idk and this girl doesn't like me because she thinks I'm getting in the way of her friendship/relationship with my guy bestfriend. And now he has chosen her over me and never speaks to me our conversations are so awkward and we've had an argument about this where he's said he won't apologize because he doesn't understand why I feel like he's forgotten about me and when I said "this conversation is pointless bye" he responded with "idc if you walk out of my life bye" we've become so distant now and he honestly doesn't care about me I've literally had to put so much effort into our friendship by constantly being the first person to start a conversation ect and he couldn't care less because he's found a girl he just met forgetting about how we've been close for years.
    My friends have said to ignore him until his fling with this girl is over because they all doubt it will last but I think they will last and idc if they do go out I just miss my bestfriend and idk what to do I'm considering ignoring him until the last day of the Ncs program and to then ask him what's going on but idk?
    Just tell him that you love him and try it on with him
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    Are you male or female? It's not clear from this post...

    If you're a guy and you like him, then obviously that might be awkward. But if you're a girl, then it's different.
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    (Original post by jeremy1988)
    Are you male or female? It's not clear from this post...

    If you're a guy and you like him, then obviously that might be awkward. But if you're a girl, then it's different.
    I'm a girl 😂 I like him but I really don't want to be in a relationship with him because I don't like the way he treats girls


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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    Things are pretty heated between you at the moment and the easiest option is to just walk away.

    Sometimes you lose the connection that you used to have with friends when you go to different 6th forms / university, and ever since you went your seperate ways you've said that you've had to work a lot harder and you're not seeing any willingness for him to start conversations or pay you attention. That's a sign to just give the friendship up as it isn't going to work.

    Being stuck in a triangle sucks and if they're both against you at the minute then there's not much you can do.

    If anything, I would suggest saying nothing, and on the last day or through text or social media, admit that you had feelings for him and you're sorry about how things happened the way they did, goodbye.

    ...and I think that you should let your feelings for him die out. Or at the very least, cut off contact, because at the moment if he's into that person there's nothing you can/should do.
    Thank you, I think I will just wait for my feelings to die out and I'll have to constantly remind myself of the negative aspects of him in order to get over him 😁 I really don't want to be with him because of the way he treats girls and I just think we would be better as friends it's sucks being so distant to him especially when we would text every day and now we never do.


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    (Original post by cathartic)
    I'm a girl 😂 I like him but I really don't want to be in a relationship with him because I don't like the way he treats girls

    Well, you're a girl, so do you not like the way he treats you in general?
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    (Original post by DeadEnd_96)
    He is not psychic. If you don't tell him how you really feel, then he will obviously think it is ok to leave you, and go and talk to another girl. He only considers you as a FRIEND, which is probably why he couldn't understand why he had to apologize.
    That is extremely true I didn't take his perspective of things into consideration thank you! 😊


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    (Original post by Alrounder79)
    Well, you're a girl, so do you not like the way he treats you in general?
    Well we've been best friends for a year and like he calls me his sister so he sees me differently to how he sees other girls that he would date so yeah I don't want to date him or tell him I like him because he just loves playing with girls and he's really proud of it.


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    (Original post by cathartic)
    I'm a girl 😂 I like him but I really don't want to be in a relationship with him because I don't like the way he treats girls


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Oh, then it seems like you probably shouldn't have even been friends with him.

    I think you may have inadvertently allowed someone you didn't really want a relationship with to get too close to you.

    So you feel close enough to him that you're jealous of the other girl, even though you don't actually want him on a conscious level.

    Things like that can sneak up on you if you communicate with someone too often or spend too much time with them. You feel close to them, and can end up with intimate, possessive feelings like you would have in a relationship towards someone you'd never seriously consider a relationship with.

    The thing is, he doesn't care about you that deeply, and you aren't really compatible in any important sense. So the best thing to do would likely be to focus your energies on something else (or someone else), until the empty feeling subsides, having been filled up with something else.

    There might be that occasional sudden, sharp sinking feeling when you think of something you would really like to share with him that you think he'd appreciate, but that will diminish over time. It may never go away entirely, though.
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    (Original post by jeremy1988)
    Oh, then it seems like you probably shouldn't have even been friends with him.

    I think you may have inadvertently allowed someone you didn't really want a relationship with to get too close to you.

    So you feel close enough to him that you're jealous of the other girl, even though you don't actually want him on a conscious level.

    Things like that can sneak up on you if you communicate with someone too often or spend too much time with them. You feel close to them, and can end up with intimate, possessive feelings like you would have in a relationship towards someone you'd never seriously consider a relationship with.

    The thing is, he doesn't care about you that deeply, and you aren't really compatible in any important sense. So the best thing to do would likely be to focus your energies on something else (or someone else), until the empty feeling subsides, having been filled up with something else.

    There might be that occasional sudden, sharp sinking feeling when you think of something you would really like to share with him that you think he'd appreciate, but that will diminish over time. It may never go away entirely, though.
    But I feel like he was a good friend for me he always helped me when I was upset about things motivated me so much during exam season and he's constantly motivating me to become a better person. He's literally the only person who has helped me change into a better person.


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    (Original post by cathartic)
    But I feel like he was a good friend for me he always helped me when I was upset about things motivated me so much during exam season and he's constantly motivating me to become a better person. He's literally the only person who has helped me change into a better person.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Well, I'm not saying he's a bad person. But I will say that sometimes people only come into our lives for a short time, and trying to hold onto them beyond that only ruins your memory of the good things about them. You needed help during exam season, and it appeared.

    I mean, maybe it's enough that you're a better person now, and he's shown you everything he can teach you. He's obviously not a perfect human being, or he would treat women better, wouldn't he?

    I'll try to give you a piece of advice from my own experiences, though. People in relationships are nearly always TERRIBLE friends. It brings out their selfish side. Doesn't matter what gender you are or they are, they become obsessed with their partner and neglect their platonic friends. Generally you have to wait until they get married and the enthusiasm dies down before they will start paying attention to their friends and family again.

    Just remember that people in relationships are often incapable of thinking about anyone besides themselves and the person they're infatuated with (unless they're very mature or selfless somehow). To the people in the relationship, everything the other person does is interesting or meaningful somehow. But the constant obsession with the partner is extremely annoying to anyone outside the relationship that wants to spend time with them.

    To use a crude analogy, it's like how some people think their own farts smell good, but everyone else realises they stink. I basically just compared expressing affection/admiration for a lover in public to farting, but there's truth in it, even though most people are too polite to say this to their friends who are involved in a relationship.

    Let's just say I've been in similar situations with both male and female friends... no one likes feeling neglected by a good friend just so they can focus on being in love. Especially when you don't have a lot going on in your own life, and the person who has stopped focusing on you was your "key" to a social circle or activity of interest, and you're left fairly lost working with your own devices.

    I mean, if you really don't want to lose him as a friend, just don't bother him for a while... and wait for things to cool down between them, or the relationship to end. Eventually, his attention will be available again. But it might take months or years.
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    My "best friend" always ditches me when she gets a boyfriend, the only time she is interested in me is when she wants something, I have had arguments with her too but now I've just moved on.

    She always has to have some kind of drama and I got sick of being there for her and not getting the same back. Honestly just leaving her to get on with it was the best thing I've done so I'd say just leave him too it and see what happens, it's doesn't sound like it'll last and if something goes wrong he'll soon be back saying sorry when he has no one else there.
 
 
 
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