Ex Girlfriend

O.K. You go out with a girl for a year. She breaks up with you, because the stress of exams, and the fact that you had been experiencing problems that she felt she couldn't help you through at the time. So you try and ask if she'd change her mind...she says no, and wants time apart.

4 weeks later, you get a message that she wants to be friends, and would i want to go for a drink. I said no, and that I wanted to move on, and it was easier for both of us. A week later, I change my mind and message her. She says that she's been more relaxed without me in her life, and cutting off contact, but that she'd like to be friends. I say if that's what you want, I'll meet you. So we agree on a time and place.

Then you see her today. You spend 1hr 1/2 talking about general stuff not to do with the break up. She says that she feels guilty for finishing, and readily admits it was to do with the amount of stress she was under from her family and exams. She says she hopes it can be friends, and she knows I still have feelings for her, but that's life.

So I'm meeting her for a drink next week, which I'm sure'll go OK. BUT...how do I handle this. I still like her...the reasons why we finished seemed so petty...but I know she'll never change her mind.

I almost like her friendship, and would like to do stuff, like go to the cinema etc with her, but where do you draw the line, as she's not my girlfriend anymore...and the whole situation leaves me feeling confused...as whenever i look at her, on the outside im fine...but on the inside im crumbling, because i still like her, and she knows it.

Any ideas/advice in this situation?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Stop seeing her.

Yes, stay friends with her... but only once you've really got over her. Might take a long time, but if she really wants to be your friend, she'll understand.

Sending you lots of sympathetic hugs.

Reply 2

username47781

20

Maybe ask her where exactly you stand?

Reply 3

sssh

10

Anonymous

Stop seeing her.

Yes, stay friends with her... but only once you've really got over her. Might take a long time, but if she really wants to be your friend, she'll understand.

Sending you lots of sympathetic hugs.

This really really really is the best idea. It's a horrible thing to have to admit, but it's the only one that will guarantee you can come back to each other after a while and be just friends. I'm having to come to terms with it at the moment too, with my ex-boyfriend (we were best friends at school, split up last term at uni, but since we don't have many other friends at home it's difficult not to want to hang out together.) Good luck xx

Reply 4

NJA

20

Here's some advice from Cliff

Reply 5

3dnut

9

ive just had the EXACT same problem few months ago, and as long as you keep seeing her, those feelings will never go away, and you'll feel really vulnerable at her disposal. you have to stop seeing her till you're sure you're over her... harsh, but its the truth.

Reply 6

adamwilkinson

Yes i agree, stop seeing her until you feel the time is right.
I've recently broken up with my long term now ex girlfriend purely because we'd grown apart apart 5 yrs. We're staying friends because thats what we're good at but nothing more.
I havent seen her for a month so far purely because were both not ready to meet up with each other, when the time is right we'll meet up and be friends. Since splitting it was 2 weeks before either of us made any contact and at moment its only by email or msn and not often.

Its always hard but your feelings for her will pass, just take your time.

Reply 7

gracie88

14

Anonymous

Stop seeing her.

Yes, stay friends with her... but only once you've really got over her. Might take a long time, but if she really wants to be your friend, she'll understand.

Sending you lots of sympathetic hugs.

Argh anonymous being abused again!

OP i would suggest the same, if you still have feelings meeting up with her will only strengthen these, you need to get over her properly before you can become friends. Good luck :smile:

Ex Girlfriend

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