I have a history of psychological problems. Objectively I've suffered depression for a good year whilst at University (though I personally feel longer). I've suffered low mood for years and years, and social anxiety for a very long time.
As of recently, I've finished University (with my desired classification), and graduate in the later Graduation in Jan 2016 (due to mental health concerns delaying my progress).
Thing is, my mental health seems to be up and down. I've been seeing a psychotherapist privately since just before summer. (She tells me that I don't suffer mental health difficulties as much as I say, and I am probably very emotionally unstable).
Me and my partner are long distance, been together about two years (engaged for a year), she moved in with her Father post-uni, but has just started renting a house, I went to see it and have visited since. Problem is, we go through periods where we talk a lot, (usually after we see one and other after I visit), and then a few weeks on, we talk very little, perhaps once a day via facebook, sometimes phone call, other times a skype.
But with my emotions been all over, I get very kind of 'needy' and vulnerable and get very depressed. Mix this with a drink problem and it becomes a problem twofold, ( I drink a lot and get emotional and reflective on my life).
I miss her, but always have this fear of uncertainty, and feel uncomfortable when things go wrong. I either feel it has to go good or bad. Classic Black and white thinking.
This isn't something me and the therapist haven't chatted about. We know what the issue is. It is just hard for me to not be in a state when things happen. I.e. me and my partner have periods where we talk less and less and those periods cause me significant stress.
I have talked with my partner, and although she reassures me in the moment. Post her chat, I always feel back to my normal self (worrying etc).
Then afterward, she tells me 'I fell asleep sorry', after I message her. She has periods where she sees my messages, then there is a long pause between messages and she doesnt reply. Then tells me she fell asleep.
is it really a problem with me, or is it because she cba?
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