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Is it unreasonable to ask my boyfriend to miss a football match? watch

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    I can't believe I am writing this, but I feel like my boyfriend is quite selfish when it comes to football. Generally, I don't mind. However, last weekend I met him after the match and his team had lost and on the bus back to his house he pretty much ignored me and spent the entire journey on Twitter.

    This weekend I booked a table at a restaurant and I've had to cancel it because the match won't have finished by then. Then my boyfriend it might be better to see me the night before instead because if his team loses he'll be in a **** mood.

    We're going on holiday in a couple of weeks and there will be a football match on and he says he intends to watch it. I said to him if his team loses I don't want him ignoring me and being in a bad mood and he said ''If I am then I can't help it''.

    I know football is important to him and I'm not a football fan. However, I don't think it's unreasonable for me to ask him to control his mood if they lose. In all honesty, I don't see why he can't miss one football match while we are on holiday together, but I'd be able to tolerate it if he could promise not to be in a **** mood if they lose, or at least make the effort not to be. Generally, I haven't had a problem with football but now I'm starting to think he's being selfish.

    What do I do?
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    Heeey. I deffo agree with you, he might be a passionate fan of Football. However, at the end of the day if his favourite football team loses a game, he shouldn't take it so personally and take it out on you. It is JUST a game. And also, have you tried speaking to him about it. Try to talk to him in a calm and understanding manner, and avoid sounding confrontational and accusatory. Not only this, but are you emotionally close to him? Do you both talk to each other about your feelings? Perhaps he feels angry for some reason and uses football to release some of his tension?
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    He just has to grow up but it won't happen overnight even if he himself really wants to change. I know it seems like a really stupid, petty thing to argue over so you have to try your best to talk to him like an adult instead of talking like he's being childish and stupid. I have had arguments with my girlfriend when she's being obsessive over her appearance, chasing stray hairs around her head, getting frustrated, running late and ends up ruining the whole night. In both of our cases we have to try to wrap our heads around the amount of emotional investment our SO has made in football/hair and even though it is childish and stupid at least pretend that we take it seriously.

    His behaviour is definitely beyond the pale by the way, I'm not condoning it. If your happiness every weekend depends on whether 11 men halfway across the country score more goals than the opposition it's clearly not sustainable.

    The fact that he has chosen to see you the night before at least shows he is aware of how he gets after his team loses which is the first step.
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    Sounds like you're with a boy, not a man. If he is in an uncontrollably bad mood because his football team loses he's not mature enough for a relation IMO. I'm sure you don't take things out on him when you're disappointed.
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    (Original post by SourSkittles178)
    Heeey. I deffo agree with you, he might be a passionate fan of Football. However, at the end of the day if his favourite football team loses a game, he shouldn't take it so personally and take it out on you. It is JUST a game. And also, have you tried speaking to him about it. Try to talk to him in a calm and understanding manner, and avoid sounding confrontational and accusatory. Not only this, but are you emotionally close to him? Do you both talk to each other about your feelings? Perhaps he feels angry for some reason and uses football to release some of his tension?
    I have tried talking to him about it and his reaction was just ''If they lose it affects my mood''. I am close to him, but he never really opens up to me about stuff. His parents don't get on a few people close to him died in the last couple of years but he never wants to talk to me about it I don't think he really talks to anyone about it.
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    He just has to grow up but it won't happen overnight even if he himself really wants to change. I know it seems like a really stupid, petty thing to argue over so you have to try your best to talk to him like an adult instead of talking like he's being childish and stupid. I have had arguments with my girlfriend when she's being obsessive over her appearance, chasing stray hairs around her head, getting frustrated, running late and ends up ruining the whole night. In both of our cases we have to try to wrap our heads around the amount of emotional investment our SO has made in football/hair and even though it is childish and stupid at least pretend that we take it seriously.

    His behaviour is definitely beyond the pale by the way, I'm not condoning it. If your happiness every weekend depends on whether 11 men halfway across the country score more goals than the opposition it's clearly not sustainable.

    The fact that he has chosen to see you the night before at least shows he is aware of how he gets after his team loses which is the first step.
    This is the thing, generally I'm quite tolerant of it. I don't mind seeing him before or after a match, but when I met up with him after a match last time he pretty much ignored me.

    I've always known he's passionate about football, but it's bugging me that he can't even miss one match when we are away on holiday. The match will be in the evening as we are a couple of hours ahead, so it might not finish until around 10:00pm. I don't want to spend the last night of our holiday watching football
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is the thing, generally I'm quite tolerant of it. I don't mind seeing him before or after a match, but when I met up with him after a match last time he pretty much ignored me.

    I've always known he's passionate about football, but it's bugging me that he can't even miss one match when we are away on holiday. The match will be in the evening as we are a couple of hours ahead, so it might not finish until around 10:00pm. I don't want to spend the last night of our holiday watching football
    Hmm, for the holiday thing specifically maybe you can go out and watch it in a bar and then stay out for a few drinks? That would seem to me like a good compromise even if you have to go back fairly early because of the plane etc. I don't think it's the end of the world if he does want to watch it, presumably it's only one evening of several? (If a weekend break then it's different...) I would save it for after the holiday to really get your teeth into the problem as there's nothing worse than arguing on holiday.

    When me and gf have been on holiday I do still try to catch the Formula 1 which is the sport I mainly watch, but as it's on Sundays we are generally not doing much anyway. I might make a vague attempt to factor it into our plans but if there's other holiday type things left to do I'm not bothered. My point is there is a place for sitting about in front of the telly on holiday, in this case it's not unreasonable imo.
 
 
 
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