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    No trolls please. I'm at university and I want to meet girls when we go to the bar. There is a good area outside to meet them but when I go with my friend my mind always goes blank with what to say to them. Can someone give me some kind of 'template conversation' that I can use?? And yeah If you can't tell i'm pretty socially inept at the moment. Thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No trolls please. I'm at university and I want to meet girls when we go to the bar. There is a good area outside to meet them but when I go with my friend my mind always goes blank with what to say to them. Can someone give me some kind of 'template conversation' that I can use?? And yeah If you can't tell i'm pretty socially inept at the moment. Thanks
    "Hey, [optional - "I thought you were pretty"] I was wondering if I can buy you a drink?" (I mean, this worked on me, so it should work on other people haha)

    If they say yes, ask what they want etc and ask their name, what degree they're doing if it's a bar predominantly overrun by students, and go from there. Try to find something you have in common Good luck!
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    (Original post by pizzad0gs)
    "Hey, [optional - "I thought you were pretty"] I was wondering if I can buy you a drink?" (I mean, this worked on me, so it should work on other people haha)

    If they say yes, ask what they want etc and ask their name, what degree they're doing if it's a bar predominantly overrun by students, and go from there. Try to find something you have in common Good luck!
    Yeah but they may just say yes to the drink then leave when you give it to them, isn't it best to see if they're interested in a different way first?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah but they may just say yes to the drink then leave when you give it to them, isn't it best to see if they're interested in a different way first?
    Hmm, I suppose so, I didn't think of that. You could be like "hey, you seem interesting, do you want to chat over a drink? It's on me" or something along those lines. I mean in most cases I don't think they'd be that cruel, but I see why you'd be worried
    Also, if they're wearing something that you could comment on, like a band t-shirt, or a pin on their bag or something, you could strike up a conversation about that?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No trolls please. I'm at university and I want to meet girls when we go to the bar. There is a good area outside to meet them but when I go with my friend my mind always goes blank with what to say to them. Can someone give me some kind of 'template conversation' that I can use?? And yeah If you can't tell i'm pretty socially inept at the moment. Thanks
    Conversations are based around responding to what other people say. You cannot form a conversation template in advance because the only way to do that would be to ignore what they say and follow the template regardless. I mean conversations are supposed to flow and they won't do that if you just ask them questions or say things that are per-prepared and nothing to do with what they say. It becomes less like a conversation and more like an interrogation.

    Having a few questions to start things off are fine, like the common sense ones;
    What year?
    What course?
    What halls?
    Where you from?
    Have you been to (insert bar), etc.

    And from these have a normal conversation, not a template. So if you ask them where they are from and they tell you respond by saying where you are from and/or just talking about what they said. If they are interested in talking to you they will ask you questions as well-if they don't then just move on.

    Have a few questions in your mind in advance, sure. But conversation is about responding to what other people say, not who can memorise the most questions. If you do this-follow a template-the person will think that;
    at best you are just not listening to them really
    at worst that you are just a bit weird.

    The other person will make it easy for you hopefully. And a good point to remember is this;
    1) If you run out of things to say leave early. Better to leave when conversation was good and for five minutes than drag it on for 10 with an awkward last five minutes. If you take the 5 minute approach they will have a good memory of you the next time they see you whereas the 10 minute awkward one they will just see you as that acquaintance they have to say hello to.
    You can always go back to them later and talk to them. The best part about keeping it short but sweet is that you can use the above generic questions to fill most of that up!

    2) When leaving it always looks bad to excuse yourself when they are taking. It makes them feel bad and you aren't listening just looking for a time to leave. So when you are running out of things to say I would advise;
    1) Having one final thing to say (NOT A QUESTION-that needs an answer!) prepared, say it then say "I have to go, nice talking to you, hope to see you again!".


    Summary;
    So 1) have some questions in advance that can apply to most (examples above).
    2) Respond to what they say, don't worry about the script. If you are worried it will get awkward don't worry as see
    3) If you run out of things to say use your pre-planned statement, excuse yourself and end on a high note.
    4) You leave with the best impression you could have put out.

    Hope that helps
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah but they may just say yes to the drink then leave when you give it to them, isn't it best to see if they're interested in a different way first?
    If you go up to a person and say you think they look pretty it can really make you feel akward if you are not really confident. And you better hope they see you the same way. Buying drinks-I would also say no. It is a waste of money and they will just think "great, another guy buying me drinks. Time to just go on autopilot and talk talk talk so he keeps buying me drinks drinks drinks".

    Just talk to people without awkward compliments or buying them drinks. (Guy friends are different obviously).
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    I had a guy approach me the other night. It was way too cringy. Said I looked like a model. Just stay safe ask if you can get her a drink? She has two choices. I like to bat it back and ask what he thinks I drink. Breaks the ice a bit.

    You could also catch her eye a couple times. Get the bar man to give her the drink. Wait for her to work it out and come talk to you. I get it happen to me a fair bit and it always gets me interested.

    I guess I just find talking to guys quite easy. All you do is sidle up next to your target and go from there. Maybe "bump" into them (bonus points for spilling their drink and buying them another). Or ask if that stool is taken or something. Talk. Get a bit closer. Have a dance. Step outside. See what happens. It's just confidence.

    My proudest moment is when I managed to coerce the barman at this really fancy place into slipping me free drinks this Summer. I have the corks, cocktail stir-er stick things and his jigger to prove it. My friends think I'm awful.
 
 
 
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