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How involved in your bf's/gf's life are you?
Just, as in, do they tell you about the little decisions they make on a daily basis that don't really affect you per se, but you assume are a big deal to them?
In the sense that something's important for them to sort out, doesn't necessarily affect you directly but if you had been them, you'd have talked about for a while with them?
Person I'm with organised a big thing about their uni course t'other day, and didn't even tell me.. I know it doesn't involve me but I'm assuming it was weighing on his mind quite a bit, and it makes me feel like I'm not important enough for him to talk about it with, or that he doesn't want to share stuff with me if it doesn't affect me directly. It's not a question of wanting to involve myself in his life, it's just that he didn't even mention it and it makes me wonder why he didn't tell me something so important to him & his uni life (we're at different unis)..
Reading over that I guess it comes off a bit bunny boilerish and I'd bet that if I mentioned it to him he'd say 'sorry, I didn't even think it mattered to you' (I wouldn't mention it, I think I'm a bit paranoid
) but I just wondered if other people (well, probably girls ^_^ not that i'm stereotyping) feel like your partner does stuff without even talking about it with you first?
In the sense that something's important for them to sort out, doesn't necessarily affect you directly but if you had been them, you'd have talked about for a while with them?
Person I'm with organised a big thing about their uni course t'other day, and didn't even tell me.. I know it doesn't involve me but I'm assuming it was weighing on his mind quite a bit, and it makes me feel like I'm not important enough for him to talk about it with, or that he doesn't want to share stuff with me if it doesn't affect me directly. It's not a question of wanting to involve myself in his life, it's just that he didn't even mention it and it makes me wonder why he didn't tell me something so important to him & his uni life (we're at different unis)..
Reading over that I guess it comes off a bit bunny boilerish and I'd bet that if I mentioned it to him he'd say 'sorry, I didn't even think it mattered to you' (I wouldn't mention it, I think I'm a bit paranoid
) but I just wondered if other people (well, probably girls ^_^ not that i'm stereotyping) feel like your partner does stuff without even talking about it with you first?Scroll to see replies
Share most everything, really. Some boring day-to-day stuff we don't bother talking about though of course! We live together so we talk about our day as we cook and eat our dinner. Best conversation always take place in bed or in the bath though when there are no other distractions but talking to one another 
my favourite! 
He's doing obs and gynae at the moment so I'm quite pleased he doesn't tell me exactly what he's be doing during the day!
edit: I do notice that when I'm stressed I tend to tell him everything, but if he's stressed he's more likely to keep it to himself and not worry me about it.
my favourite! He's doing obs and gynae at the moment so I'm quite pleased he doesn't tell me exactly what he's be doing during the day!
edit: I do notice that when I'm stressed I tend to tell him everything, but if he's stressed he's more likely to keep it to himself and not worry me about it.
Yeah, same with him and me... And I suppose it being long distance doesn't help either. Getting him to myself for half of next weekend though, I'll probably mention it and he'll tell me not to be such a silly ... I know he didn't not mention it intentionally but it just makes me feel sad to know he doesn't want to share his day to day stuff with me, even though we talk on msn/phone/text lots.
... I know he didn't not mention it intentionally but it just makes me feel sad to know he doesn't want to share his day to day stuff with me, even though we talk on msn/phone/text lots.Oh I doubt very much it's a calculated decision. I was in a LDR with my bf for a good year and a half before we moved in. I'm certain there were lots of things that we didn't think merited coversation in the times we had to speak to one another.
Don't pressure him to feel like he has to tell you everything. Perhaps just mention that that sounds like something interesting and you'd like to hear about what happens next?
Don't pressure him to feel like he has to tell you everything. Perhaps just mention that that sounds like something interesting and you'd like to hear about what happens next?
blissy
Yeah I agree with that Tayla. I'm a bit of a chatterbox, but I have to ask him what he's been up to during the day (step by step sometimes! LOL,. Today "so what happened in the morning" uh uh uh huh "and what did you do at lunchtime?" etc )
Maybe it's a boy thing?
)Maybe it's a boy thing?
Definitely! What they think is stupid mundane stuff is stuff we like to hear about
(PS: Talya
) Cool, thanks for the reassurance. It's just very different for me because my last boyfriend and I lived in each pockets pretty much, and it was very full on, and now it seems like by comparison I hardly hear anything about his day! I like being able to put stuff down to being a 'boy thing'
Me and my other half talk about most things, we usually spend atleast a hour and a half - 2 hours every night just chatting about our days and what we've both been upto. The best chitter chatter is when we go to bed, pillow talk is always the best because we're both all sleepy and not making much sense but its fun to just talk about random things xx
Only been together a week so don't really know eachother inside out though, hopefully it will get to that point sometime soon
blissy
Yeah I agree with that Tayla. I'm a bit of a chatterbox, but I have to ask him what he's been up to during the day (step by step sometimes! LOL,. Today "so what happened in the morning" uh uh uh huh "and what did you do at lunchtime?" etc )
Maybe it's a boy thing?
)Maybe it's a boy thing?
haha i know exactly what you mean about that. he doesnt think that stuff he does will always interest me, but i want to know everything about his day!
lol I love hearing about the silliest things he gets up to, I wish he chatted more though!
My boyfriend and I tell each other pretty much everything. We are very involved in each other's lives, I can't believe how involved we are to be honest. I love it though, he does too. It means that we can talk over things and help each other out to the best of our ability. We talk about our boring days, our big life decisions and we are happy with that. If he wasn't to involve me in the important stuff, I would be offended. I like to know what is going on with him, that he is okay. I just love everything about him, I can't help but take an interest.
I'm very involved with my boyfriend, but we spend most our time together so it's inevitable... we talk about everything, even if it's what we're having for dinner... actually, we talk about that quite a lot but he's a bit of a foodie, so there you go... 
My girlfriend and I are very involved and tend to talk about everything including, yes, those little mundane things. There doesn't seem to be any prompting on either side though, but then that might be because we're both girls and tend to overlap and interrupt each other in our speech 
reginaf
My girlfriend and I are very involved and tend to talk about everything including, yes, those little mundane things. There doesn't seem to be any prompting on either side though, but then that might be because we're both girls and tend to overlap and interrupt each other in our speech
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