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I'm Finished. The Uni is finished too. Social crisis. watch

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    #1

    I'm a first year uni student and i was disillusioned that my relationships with people will change if i lived in halls, if i did societies etc.

    But after two months, this week was clearly God speaking to me that my time is finished in uni. I went back home for a few days, No one called me, my flatmates didn't contact me. Ever since i came back on Sunday, they forget to mention me that there is a new flatmate (which i have never met, i only noticed when i heard chinese in one of the door last night).

    I'm going to be ousted very soon, i don't expect ANY of my flatmates to speak to me about living with them next year so i'm planning to live in a studio flat in 2nd year ALTHOUGH i may leave halls in December to live alone.

    It's a shame i have no friends but i guess this is what depression does to people. I don't get along with family so i will not drop out but my time is really over. What can i do to fight 4 more years of pain.
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    What has even pissed me off more was the girl who i fancy clearly realising i have no friends. Because i'm stuck in the friendzone and is probably realising i'm getting clingy to her, she gives my number to his sideman to pair up as 'friends' . It's painful
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a first year uni student and i was disillusioned that my relationships with people will change if i lived in halls, if i did societies etc.

    But after two months, this week was clearly God speaking to me that my time is finished in uni. I went back home for a few days, No one called me, my flatmates didn't contact me. Ever since i came back on Sunday, they forget to mention me that there is a new flatmate (which i have never met, i only noticed when i heard chinese in one of the door last night).

    I'm going to be ousted very soon, i don't expect ANY of my flatmates to speak to me about living with them next year so i'm planning to live in a studio flat in 2nd year ALTHOUGH i may leave halls in December to live alone.

    It's a shame i have no friends but i guess this is what depression does to people. I don't get along with family so i will not drop out but my time is really over. What can i do to fight 4 more years of pain.
    Please read my thread. I believe It'll give you perspective.

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...691&highlight=
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    (Original post by TabulaSmaragdina)
    Please read my thread. I believe It'll give you perspective.

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...691&highlight=
    I've skimmed read it. What is the aim of your thread?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've skimmed read it. What is the aim of your thread?
    I want people to break out of the social educational/university/career/ethical paradigm, and develop their own value systems based on things which will satisfy their interests. i.e. in many cases an active social life, no matter how positively it is portrayed, will not be in the incentives of people who seek to make groundbreaking academic findings or to build an extremely lucrative business, or become excellent musicians, sportsmen etc...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've skimmed read it. What is the aim of your thread?
    tl;dr **** people they don't matter, unless all you want to draw from this life is a mate.
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    (Original post by TabulaSmaragdina)
    tl;dr **** people they don't matter, unless all you want to draw from this life is a mate.
    People are just pricks. I've done everything, i went clubs with everyon and now i'm a nobody
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    People are just pricks. I've done everything, i went clubs with everyon and now i'm a nobody
    Exactly. Ever come back from a night out with the "lads" and come home feeling empty with empty pockets? I have. Never did again.

    For those who haven't yet read it:

    **** University

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...1#post60375691
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    (Original post by TabulaSmaragdina)
    Exactly. Ever come back from a night out with the "lads" and come home feeling empty with empty pockets? I have. Never did again.

    For those who haven't yet read it:

    **** University

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...1#post60375691
    What year are you in?

    It's just sad
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What year are you in?

    It's just sad
    First, after about two weeks of socialising I felt empty, and like I was wasting my life. You?
    • #2
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    Try focusing on your course instead. Forget friends for a little while and take a breather. Just be friendly but calm around your housemates, and of needs be, move out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Try focusing on your course instead. Forget friends for a little while and take a breather. Just be friendly but calm around your housemates, and of needs be, move out.
    I'm planning to move out of halls. I thought i got along with my flatmates but realistically i don't think i am. They are slyly avoiding me in the kitchen as i have noticed.

    I don't like my course either and the people are very immature. tbh my uni life is finished and its a shame i'm putting this up this pain for 4 years
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    Your flatmates sound like a bunch of tossers. *******s to them.

    I experienced similar in first year but I promise you it did me the world of good because it motivated me to go and meet new people
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    (Original post by TabulaSmaragdina)
    First, after about two weeks of socialising I felt empty, and like I was wasting my life. You?
    I'm first too. I honestly thought i was making friends until i realise i don't have no contact with my flatmates (i.e. not facebook friends (although bizzarely involved me in a chat group about the dirty plates in the kitchen), no numbers). My only hope is hanging out with the church society but i don't really won't to because i'm stuck in the friendzone and that the society is religiously a cult.
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    (Original post by beautifulbigmacs)
    Your flatmates sound like a bunch of tossers. *******s to them.

    I experienced similar in first year but I promise you it did me the world of good because it motivated me to go and meet new people
    I get along fine with them (or i thought i was) but its sad they don't just contact me when i've gone for a while. They don't inform me of nothing espicially one of my flatmate who is in some of my lectures. We don't sit next to each other in lectures hence when where back in the flat its ****ing awkward.

    I'm planning to become a recluse anyway. The uni life is over for me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm first too. I honestly thought i was making friends until i realise i don't have no contact with my flatmates (i.e. not facebook friends (although bizzarely involved me in a chat group about the dirty plates in the kitchen), no numbers). My only hope is hanging out with the church society but i don't really won't to because i'm stuck in the friendzone and that the society is religiously a cult.
    If you want to make friends imo I don't think it's that hard in university, especially if you're obsequious/accommodating/ingratiating enough and keep up with the latest trends (drake's new song, ****ing shoes and **** like that).

    Though that society may be cult-like if making friends really is important to you then join it, you may find someone you like.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I get along fine with them (or i thought i was) but its sad they don't just contact me when i've gone for a while. They don't inform me of nothing espicially one of my flatmate who is in some of my lectures. We don't sit next to each other in lectures hence when where back in the flat its ****ing awkward.

    I'm planning to become a recluse anyway. The uni life is over for me.
    Do you try to contact them often? / Try to arrange things with them?

    Not that I'm saying it's worth it, but still.
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    Don't depend on people who don't treat you well for friendship. That's a life thing and not just a uni thing.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I get along fine with them (or i thought i was) but its sad they don't just contact me when i've gone for a while. They don't inform me of nothing espicially one of my flatmate who is in some of my lectures. We don't sit next to each other in lectures hence when where back in the flat its ****ing awkward.

    I'm planning to become a recluse anyway. The uni life is over for me.
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    (Original post by beautifulbigmacs)
    Don't depend on people who don't treat you well for friendship. That's a life thing and not just a uni thing.
    This is what i have realised.

    It's a shame, negotiations for a studio flat for 2nd year is happening as i have a viewing this week so its really sad.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is what i have realised.

    It's a shame, negotiations for a studio flat for 2nd year is happening as i have a viewing this week so its really sad.
    You keep saying 'it's a shame' as if its inevitable and out of your control. You can't control the behaviour of others, but you are in control of your own behaviour. If your flat mates don't contact you a lot, I guess they don't feel that close to you. So what? Why does your friendship circle have to end with them? Go and make more friends and build relationships outside of your home.

    I understand the difficulty of dealing with depression and how hard it can be to socialise with new people, I've been there myself. I buried myself in work and studying, which, if you are university can be a good thing.

    If you're really struggling, talk to the student counsellor. Life's not going to get any easier if you have no motivation to make a change yourself. Don't doom yourself to 'four more years of pain', do something to change it!
 
 
 
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