splitting up and going to university

hey guys, is anybody else in the same situation as me here...basically, i really like this girl, madly.we've been close for the best 2 years but now and we're both in upper sixth.but now we'll both be going to seperate unis (b'ham and newcastle).it is simply unpractical for us to stay together and we both kind of know that we'll be going seperate ways..despite staying in touch.i just wanted some advice on how to cope with leaving behind your love and starting a new life at uni? any tips guys (and girls)?

Reply 1

LipGloss

Think of all the fun and frolicks you won't be missing out on at uni, because you don't have a long-distance girlfriend to worry about?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

it just won't be the same though.may sound corny but me and her have something deeper than that

Reply 3

Talya

16

If you want to make an LDR work, you can, but it can be hard work.

You can go straight from BHam to Newcastle on the train but it takes 3.5 hrs and it costs £65 rtn :frown:

Reply 4

britishseapower

14

Anonymous

it just won't be the same though.may sound corny but me and her have something deeper than that

how does she feel about it? even if you do break up, it's not like it would have been because you fell out so there is always the off chance that the relationship could resume in the future

Reply 5

Ben Dover the Lollipop Man

14

You either:

Break up, but don't be mean about it. Like still have her as friends. Like still talk to her like a friend over msn, phone, etc. I know many people have not together but are still friends.

Or

the opposite, i.e. not breaking up. But that involves you talking to her on the phone everyday if you miss her loads, emailing her everyday etc. So it may take up some of your study time. And visit her every weekend or every other week or so.

But ask her opinion first, because both of ya are in this, not just one side's problem. See what she thinks, go away, and think about what she's said and tell her how you want the relationship to continue.

Reply 6

username47781

20

Surely you can keep in contact with her, as Tayla said an LDR can work.

Reply 7

romeosbitch

15

I'm in a relationship under the principle that when i go to uni it will end. I'm okay with this as its my decision. We are just enjoying the time we have together now and when I'm at uni we can still be friends and such.

As long as people know what the situation is, it'll be fine. Just enjoy what you have now.

Reply 8

username47781

20

romeosbitch

I'm in a relationship under the principle that when i go to uni it will end. I'm okay with this as its my decision. We are just enjoying the time we have together now and when I'm at uni we can still be friends and such.

As long as people know what the situation is, it'll be fine. Just enjoy what you have now.

But surely if you are only staying together until you agree to break up for Uni, surely just prolonging the inevitable.

Reply 9

loz_fairy

8

Me and the b/f always said we were gonna break up for uni...but then it never happened.
Plan it as much as you want, just when the time comes remember something may change :smile:

Reply 10

username47781

20

loz_fairy

Me and the b/f always said we were gonna break up for uni...but then it never happened.
Plan it as much as you want, just when the time comes remember something may change :smile:

Guess your love was too strong, at the end of the day your right, things do change. The problem though is one person may want to break up but the other person might suddenly think that they actually don't want to finish it.

Reply 11

Talya

16

It's my life

Surely you can keep in contact with her, as Tayla said an LDR can work.

Who the poo is Tayla?

Reply 12

username47781

20

It's my life

Surely you can keep in contact with her, as Talya said an LDR can work.

Fixed

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

ok, thanks for all your help people! whats meant to be will be and i ain't going to tempt destiny.i think its best if we both move on, its just going to be hard at first-even though we will still talk and stuff.

Reply 14

username47781

20

Anonymous

ok, thanks for all your help people! whats meant to be will be and i ain't going to tempt destiny.i think its best if we both move on, its just going to be hard at first-even though we will still talk and stuff.

Are you two actually going out?

Reply 15

Meep!

9

If you really like her, then LDR's are manageable, I'm in one, my bf and I are 5 hours apart by train during term, but we manage, it's do-able.

Reply 16

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

14

Anonymous

hey guys, is anybody else in the same situation as me here...basically, i really like this girl, madly.we've been close for the best 2 years but now and we're both in upper sixth.but now we'll both be going to seperate unis (b'ham and newcastle).it is simply unpractical for us to stay together and we both kind of know that we'll be going seperate ways..despite staying in touch.i just wanted some advice on how to cope with leaving behind your love and starting a new life at uni? any tips guys (and girls)?

Well if you honestly think you could still hold onto what you've got, why don't you both make up for it when term ends and talk quite a bit on the phone. I know its not what you want to read or anything but if you want it to work you can make it work ;yes;

Reply 17

romeosbitch

15

It's my life

But surely if you are only staying together until you agree to break up for Uni, surely just prolonging the inevitable.

exactly, call me pessimistic but everyone breaks up eventually. at least if you know you are and when you are, you can plan it and potentially deal with it better.

Reply 18

username47781

20

romeosbitch

exactly, call me pessimistic but everyone breaks up eventually. at least if you know you are and when you are, you can plan it and potentially deal with it better.

How do you know that though? you cannot simply predict the future. How can you possibly know if you break up or not down the line?

I'd rather see where it leads.

I say this so many times why are so many people so quick to throw in the towel. And why do people wait until that day to break up? Hardly seems a proper relationship to me.

Fair enough some people generally can't hack a long distance relationship, but seriously how do you know until you try.

Oh and maybe your boyfriend has agreed to end it in September, but what happens if he changes his mind and wants to stay with you?

Reply 19

romeosbitch

15

It's my life

How do you know that though? you cannot simply predict the future. How can you possibly know if you break up or not down the line?

I'd rather see where it leads.

I say this so many times why are so many people so quick to throw in the towel. And why do people wait until that day to break up? Hardly seems a proper relationship to me.

Fair enough some people generally can't hack a long distance relationship, but seriously how do you know until you try.

Oh and maybe your boyfriend has agreed to end it in September, but what happens if he changes his mind and wants to stay with you?

Not saying this is the case for everyone but personally, i've been in 2 long distance relationships already and would like to avoid another one. We may or may not wait until that day to break up, we may get on each others' nerves by the end of this month.

And if she changes her mind by september and wants to stay with me then, seeing on how i feel we'll go from there, but wanting to continue a relationship where the specification was that it will end at a particular point is a bit silly, if you think you might want it to go further, you dont agree to it.

From my personal point of view, i simply cannot afford a long distance relationship whilst at uni and for me, uni is my time to discover about me, purely selfish but there it is.

splitting up and going to university

Related discussions

Articles for you