Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi,

    I'm hoping I can get some help and advice on something that's been affecting me for a while now.

    I'l try not to ramble on too much as there is a lot of stuff in my head that I want to get out as I have been keeping all of this to myself for a long time and find it extremely difficult to open up.

    A little bit about me. I'm a 24 year old male and have just started my second year at a Music College studying a Music Performance degree. I am away from home. I'll list this things that are in my head at the minute.

    -constant negative thoughts, mainly about my future. Self-doubt. Always thinking I am not good enough to have a career in music performance, how I'm at a disadvantage to everyone else, lack of business knowledge, low self-confidence and comparing myself to others around me.

    -Lack of motivation to get up in the mornings and go to lessons, practice my instrument, socialise etc. I am currently not enjoying my time at the college and my interest in music performance has diminished. When I don't have lessons, I lack motivation to do anything productive.

    -self-conscious about my image and what people think of me.

    -Really thinking about it, I don't have any close friends that I can enjoy time with and talk to. Just acquaintances. I don't find socialising hard though and always put on a facade that I am a happy person. Again, find it extremely difficult to be myself around people.

    The main reason that I can think of which could be the cause of this is that I am a closeted homo-sexual. I have recently started to accept it and have slowly become more comfortable with it but have still yet to tell anyone. All throughout my life I have tried so hard to not let this out and it's always been this thing in the back of my mind to make sure never to let out whenever I'm in social situations. This has caused me to suppress my emotions and not be myself for pretty much the majority of my life. I tried to occupy my mind with other things, such as career aspirations which for a few years worked but now I'm starting to feel this way again.

    There is so much more I could write but I've already written enough. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

    Does this sound like depression?
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I'm hoping I can get some help and advice on something that's been affecting me for a while now.

    I'l try not to ramble on too much as there is a lot of stuff in my head that I want to get out as I have been keeping all of this to myself for a long time and find it extremely difficult to open up.

    A little bit about me. I'm a 24 year old male and have just started my second year at a Music College studying a Music Performance degree. I am away from home. I'll list this things that are in my head at the minute.

    -constant negative thoughts, mainly about my future. Self-doubt. Always thinking I am not good enough to have a career in music performance, how I'm at a disadvantage to everyone else, lack of business knowledge, low self-confidence and comparing myself to others around me.

    -Lack of motivation to get up in the mornings and go to lessons, practice my instrument, socialise etc. I am currently not enjoying my time at the college and my interest in music performance has diminished. When I don't have lessons, I lack motivation to do anything productive.

    -self-conscious about my image and what people think of me.

    -Really thinking about it, I don't have any close friends that I can enjoy time with and talk to. Just acquaintances. I don't find socialising hard though and always put on a facade that I am a happy person. Again, find it extremely difficult to be myself around people.

    The main reason that I can think of which could be the cause of this is that I am a closeted homo-sexual. I have recently started to accept it and have slowly become more comfortable with it but have still yet to tell anyone. All throughout my life I have tried so hard to not let this out and it's always been this thing in the back of my mind to make sure never to let out whenever I'm in social situations. This has caused me to suppress my emotions and not be myself for pretty much the majority of my life. I tried to occupy my mind with other things, such as career aspirations which for a few years worked but now I'm starting to feel this way again.

    There is so much more I could write but I've already written enough. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

    Does this sound like depression?
    It could be depression. The feelings and behaviours you listed are certainly symptoms of depression.

    I also have an issue with motivation. I struggled with depression for years, and I lost all motivation to do anything useful or productive. Even now, I often have to work incredibly hard to force myself to do things and feel motivated.

    If you are not enjoying college, maybe you aren't doing what you really want. Stick with it, but research other options - you might fall in love with a new idea. Having actual close friends is extremely important, so try to socialise and open up to people. You said you are becoming more comfortable with your sexuality. Is there anyone you could open up to about this? It might lift a big weight off you emotionally.

    It might be worth talking to your GP and seeing a counsellor to uncover the reasons why you are feeling this way.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 1, 1970
Poll
“Yanny” or “Laurel”

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.