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    Hello all! If you could offer me some advice, any advice, that would be very much appreciated right now!

    I have found out that a girl in the year below has been raped by her boyfriend. Furthermore, she now believes she is in a happy relationship with him, and he is apparently quite controlling.

    Issue? 1) That's all I know. 2) I don't know the girl. I know her name, think I know the face to go with it, and that's literally it.

    I have to admit, I'm at a loss as to what to do. She's in her GCSE year; what if bringing this all up now makes everything worse? She's got mocks coming up. I don't know what to do.

    Thanks so much. I've had to sort one too many crises lately and it's just getting completely and utterly on top of me.
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    (Original post by Do1phinDreamer)
    Hello all! If you could offer me some advice, any advice, that would be very much appreciated right now!

    I have found out that a girl in the year below has been raped by her boyfriend. Furthermore, she now believes she is in a happy relationship with him, and he is apparently quite controlling.

    Issue? 1) That's all I know. 2) I don't know the girl. I know her name, think I know the face to go with it, and that's literally it.

    I have to admit, I'm at a loss as to what to do. She's in her GCSE year; what if bringing this all up now makes everything worse? She's got mocks coming up. I don't know what to do.

    Thanks so much. I've had to sort one too many crises lately and it's just getting completely and utterly on top of me.
    ''I have found out that a girl in the year below has been raped by her boyfriend.'' may I ask how you 'know' this?

    If she says she is in a happy relationship, who are you to question it?
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    (Original post by Do1phinDreamer)
    Hello all! If you could offer me some advice, any advice, that would be very much appreciated right now!

    I have found out that a girl in the year below has been raped by her boyfriend. Furthermore, she now believes she is in a happy relationship with him, and he is apparently quite controlling.

    Issue? 1) That's all I know. 2) I don't know the girl. I know her name, think I know the face to go with it, and that's literally it.

    I have to admit, I'm at a loss as to what to do. She's in her GCSE year; what if bringing this all up now makes everything worse? She's got mocks coming up. I don't know what to do.

    Thanks so much. I've had to sort one too many crises lately and it's just getting completely and utterly on top of me.
    You need to speak to her and understand the situation better before you start accusations and reporting.
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    Unless she told you she was raped, you're just hearing it through the grapevine. You need to talk to her about it before you make accusations like that
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    As everyone above has said, you don't know anything but hearsay.


    Unless you're willing to talk to her directly about it and get the actual facts, it's sorry to say none of your business.

    If you actually witness something, or she asks for your help then you can act.


    Never base opinion or actions on rumours ever. It's just a recipe for disaster.
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    Thank you all for your advice. I suppose you're right. I can't really talk to her as I don't know her whatsoever, so me asking her about it would cause far more trouble than good.

    I suppose I just didn't want to leave it to continue, but yes, you guys have a point.
    I'll try and get the person who let me know to talk to her about it if I possibly can.

    Thank you.
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    If she didn't want to have sex with him she wouldn't be dating him. So i don't see where you're getting "rape" from. Unless it's some white knight wet dream where she rewards you with access to her sweet treasure for saving her.

    But most likely she'll hate you and her bf will kick your ass.
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    Rape is a serious accusation that comes with incredibly serious repercussions for even people accused of it, let alone proven. It is not the kind of thing you would throw out at a hunch. I'd urge you to find out the complete truth before reporting this because if you're wrong and it's just a bit of gossip between friends it'll be too late and this guy will most likely have his life ruined.
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    (Original post by Jebedee)
    If she didn't want to have sex with him she wouldn't be dating him. So i don't see where you're getting "rape" from. Unless it's some white knight wet dream where she rewards you with access to her sweet treasure for saving her.

    But most likely she'll hate you and her bf will kick your ass.
    Rape can happen in relationships. If one night she doesn't want to and he pins her down and does it anyway (as one example) that's rape.
    However in this specific case she doesn't know the people involved (she doesn't even know what they look like) and she is hearing it as gossip so she does not know whether or not a rape occurred
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    Rape can happen in relationships. If one night she doesn't want to and he pins her down and does it anyway (as one example) that's rape.
    However in this specific case she doesn't know the people involved (she doesn't even know what they look like) and she is hearing it as gossip so she does not know whether or not a rape occurred
    As ridiculous as op sounds, a lot of "educational institutions" would find that gossip as more than ample grounds to terminate someone's studies over it.
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    You can't bring up such accusations without actual evidence , how can you potentially ruin someone's life over hearsay?
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    (Original post by Jebedee)
    If she didn't want to have sex with him she wouldn't be dating him. So i don't see where you're getting "rape" from. Unless it's some white knight wet dream where she rewards you with access to her sweet treasure for saving her.

    But most likely she'll hate you and her bf will kick your ass.
    This was my exact first thought when I read the post, OP doesn't have the first clue what's been going on, but he thinks if he steps in, convinces the girl her bf is a rapist and has him thrown in jail, he'll be hailed as a hero and rewarded with sex.


    Guys who want to be the hero are much worse than girls in my opinion, OP is a virgin and unless he has evidence, needs to gtfo.


    (Original post by Xelfrost)
    Rape is a serious accusation that comes with incredibly serious repercussions for even people accused of it, let alone proven. It is not the kind of thing you would throw out at a hunch. I'd urge you to find out the complete truth before reporting this because if you're wrong and it's just a bit of gossip between friends it'll be too late and this guy will most likely have his life ruined.

    Even this is too far, OP doesn't know this girl, they're not close and it's not for him to start snooping round the lives of two strangers. I'm sure she has a family, friends she can confide in rather than some pathetic thirsty wannabe hero who listens to rumours in the year above her.


    EDIT: OP is a girl just realised, same still applies, all white knights need to burn in hell
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    if it gets followed up this girl is going to have to go through questioning and reliving what happened (if she was raped) and face people calling her a liar. if this isn't just rumour then you could talk to her and encourage her to speak about it but you shouldn't report it if she doesn't want you to.


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    (Original post by Do1phinDreamer)
    Hello all! If you could offer me some advice, any advice, that would be very much appreciated right now!

    I have found out that a girl in the year below has been raped by her boyfriend. Furthermore, she now believes she is in a happy relationship with him, and he is apparently quite controlling.

    Issue? 1) That's all I know. 2) I don't know the girl. I know her name, think I know the face to go with it, and that's literally it.

    I have to admit, I'm at a loss as to what to do. She's in her GCSE year; what if bringing this all up now makes everything worse? She's got mocks coming up. I don't know what to do.

    Thanks so much. I've had to sort one too many crises lately and it's just getting completely and utterly on top of me.
    I agree with everyone else that you can't do anything based on just something you've heard. As you're not even her friend it would be weird if you tried to talk to her.

    However, it might be an idea to mention to a teacher in a general context that you think it might be a good idea to learn about healthy relationships as part of PSHE or whatever it's called. Do not mention the girl or what you think has happened. You could say that you saw the tea advert in the news and want to discuss it, or something. If this girl is in a controlling relationship, a discussion like this could help her to realise, and encourage her to seek help.
 
 
 
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