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    I'm 22 and female (just setting the scene lol)

    I've known this guy since being about 10/11 years old because he is my cousins best friend. I was really close to my cousin growing up so i saw his friend around a lot. when I was like13/14 it became obvious that I had a crush on him and whenever i was at cousins he'd take the p**s about it because he found it funny. Anyway when we was like 15/16 I told him i liked him and he said he liked me too and asked me out and i said no (because i was all shy about it) this was all via text btw.
    So, we never ended getting together but he was interested in me and we spoke a lot via text message and he was making it clear he liked me. one time he asked me to kiss him but he ended up kissing me on my cheek and i was blushing. anyway i think because i didnt make anything happen e.g. say lets go out or whatever, nothing ended up happening.

    When I was in college I was about 17 he said he thinks i'm nice and said I should get with him but I just didn't take him serious (again this was via text). He said we should go to nandos and then I invited my cousin just to make it less awkward but i think he meant me and him but he didn't make it clear.

    anyway, we've just been friends since then and used to chat to each other facebook as a way of keeping in touch. He messaged me randomly one time asking me to marry him when I finished uni. And he messaged me when he found out i had my first boyfriend and lost V at uni - he said the guy used me for sex (was kinda true but that's another story).




    Anyway, cos he's always been my childhood crush and my feelings have never gone away for me I messaged him in september (2014) asking if he wants to meet up and go to nandos. he said yeah and asked it to me just me and him.

    basically, we said we liked each other, he came up to see me at uni (we had our first kiss but nothing else - it was kinda netflix and chill lol), went to nandos again where he said he likes me but he's not sure about a relationship. He was coming across like he was weighing up the pros and cons about me and he's only really saw the "quiet" me and he was saying i'm quite different to other girls and compared me to my sister saying she has balls basically lol.

    Anyway, a few days later he said via text he wants a relationship with me but he's afraid of commitment. and we arranged to meet up but he fell asleep and didn't wake up after i'd called him a few times.

    After this, he apologised but didn't make the effort to make it up to me. anyway we weren't speaking much and I said i missed him and he said he felt the same and the distance hurts him with me being at uni. (he was working crazy, unsociable hours)


    Anyway when I came home, we met up and went for a drink and he kinda asked me if i wanted to stay at his but i didn't i went home. he said he'll be busy over xmas and new year so wont see me till jan. we arranged to meet up again but he had been up all night and kept delaying our plans that day and fell asleep. he said let's go the gym with my cousin at like midnight and i'd go home with him after. so i went and weirdly, he hadn't told my cousin he invited me. anyway we had sex that night which felt right with him but i didn't think the timing of it was right - we weren't anything and he'd been weird but i did it because i really liked him

    since then, we arranged to meet up one day, he said the time and when it got to that time he blocked me and fell asleep. i sent him a text saying that it was rude and he could have just said he didnt want to meet up.

    since this we haven't met up or spoken... he never replied to my text message, never apologised. i texted him and he often hasn't replied. i've spoke him on facebook and he's said he likes me more than i know but he thinks he's no good for me. and whenever we've spoke its been a friendly catch up (like how things were beforehand when we were just friends).
    i've not spoke or initiated contact with him now for like 5 months and he's not once tried to contact me. It was always me chasing him and looking back, i hope i didn't look desperate.

    I just feel like i'm getting over him now but i feel i need some closure. I think he's still single but i think he's looking at other girls. I just want to know whether he actually liked me or he just wanted one thing or genuinely wasn't ready for a relationship and he didn't want to hurt my feelings or whether he actually cared about me.

    I'm overthinking now. I know i'll always have a soft spot for him but i don't think after this i could ever forgive him for disrespecting me the way he did. I'm moving away soon so i'm hoping this will give me a fresh start and i'll start dating again. but he really hurt my feelings doing what he did and he seems to not even care.

    Sorry for the long post, I'd be surprise if anyone's bothered to read it all. any thought/opinions would be great thank you!
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    To be honest over the years you kind of played him a bit (even if it was unintentional); saying no when you wanted to be with him, bringing friends on dates etc. He probably did like you back then but it sounds like he doesn't now. In my opinion it sounds like now you've had sex he's realised he didn't like you as much as he thought he did and/or he's decided it was a mistake. Just forget about him and move on, and even if he does come back you don't want to be with someone who blocked you after sex
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    To be honest over the years you kind of played him a bit (even if it was unintentional); saying no when you wanted to be with him, bringing friends on dates etc. He probably did like you back then but it sounds like he doesn't now. In my opinion it sounds like now you've had sex he's realised he didn't like you as much as he thought he did and/or he's decided it was a mistake. Just forget about him and move on, and even if he does come back you don't want to be with someone who blocked you after sex
    yeah I know what you mean but when I first told him i liked him he was really big headed and made fun out of it in front of my cousin so i don't think i really believed him later when he said he liked me and asked him out etc. When i asked him out later he said he's liked me for a while but we've never really taken each other seriously so i think he knew i didn't trust him. but thanks for saying that because its made me view it in a different light!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah I know what you mean but when I first told him i liked him he was really big headed and made fun out of it in front of my cousin so i don't think i really believed him later when he said he liked me and asked him out etc. When i asked him out later he said he's liked me for a while but we've never really taken each other seriously so i think he knew i didn't trust him. but thanks for saying that because its made me view it in a different light!
    Yeah I see what you mean, it's a difficult one as ultimately only he knows whether the whole thing was genuine. At this point though, he's blocked you which proves (to me) that he definitely isn't worth the hassle. There are millions of guys who would never do something like that, so why waste your time on one who would?
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    He must have liked you. Maybe he knew he didn't want a relationship but still liked you. I don't know as I don't understand guys myself.
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    Sorry, stopped reading at "He said we should go to nandos."
 
 
 
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