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    Where do I begin? I have severe social anxiety disorder and also experience episodes of severe depression. This has been the case for many years. University has been hell for me. I have no friends there and can't even speak to my classmates due to my anxiety. I've already taken an extra year to get to this point to the impact my mental illnesses have had on my studies. Despite all of this, I've soldiered on because I want to get my degree and will feel like a failure if I don't. University has messed up my mental health so badly. I've been utterly miserable, lonely, and my anxiety has been through the roof, for most of it. I certainly haven't had the typical the student experience.

    I'm so depressed at the moment that I can't even think straight. I end up in tears almost every time I try to do coursework because even writing a few sentences of it feels like too much at the moment. I don't know why. I have managed to get an extension for it (as I have unfortunately needed to do many times in the past), and I'm trying my best to get it finished despite how awful I feel. I feel ashamed that I even need to ask for an extension. I know that other people don't have to deal with the same difficulties as I do but I just feel pathetic, stupid, and like a complete failure. I'll probably have to get an extension for my next piece of coursework that's due in as well, and I'm dreading asking my tutor for that module. I'm exhausted all the time and everything feels like too much right now. I just want to sleep all the time.

    The thing is, even if I somehow manage to get through the rest of this semester, I don't think there's any way I could manage the honours project in my mental state. So I will either fail or have to drop out. I'm so pissed off and disappointed in myself. Several people have said that my first and second year results were some of the best they'd ever seen, and I was sitting on a first before this semester (given how much my depression has affected my ability to think/ do coursework, I imagine my marks for this semester will be awful). It's just upsetting because I've put in so much effort and pushed myself so hard despite how hellish university has been for me. I think I will struggle enough as it is to get a job after university (given my mental health problems), so the way I see it, getting a first is the least I can do. I know it maybe sounds ridiculous but I will feel like a failure if I don't get a first.

    I don't know what to do. Of course I don't want to drop out, but university has had a really negative impact on my mental health. I've also been unable to work on CBT/ any other think of therapy or self-help stuff while at university, because coursework and studying for exams take up all my time. I haven't done anything I enjoy in I don't know how long. Literally every moment of my day is taken up trying to do coursework. This in itself has me feeling that maybe I'm too stupid for university, because no one else seems to have to put in this much effort, and most people do at least go out an enjoy themselves at the weekend.

    I don't know...I'm sorry that this post was such a jumbled, nonsensical mess. Like I said earlier, my brain isn't really working at the moment and it's struggle for me to express my thoughts. I feel like depression and social anxiety have destroyed me and my potential. It's not a hyperbole to say that they've both ruined my life. I'll just shut up now because I'm making no sense. Can anyone help me/ give advise about what to (re: dropping out or struggling on with uni)?
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    You are not weak or a failure. You are trying your best despite adver circumstances and that is to be commended!

    You mention CBT and self-help stuff but nothing about GPs or psychiatrists or meds. Have you seen a medical professional about all this? What about your uni's disability office?

    Is interrupting your studies (taking a year out before coming back to finish your studies) an option?

    FWIW, I got very ill in my third year of uni with psychosis. I was only 6 months away from finishing and being the stubborn person I am, I did not take any time out and did my Finals with no revision. I got a 2.2, which obviously doesn't look that great on a CV It was the right decision for me but for most people, I would say strongly consider whether or not you with your uni with at least a 2.1 if you are thinking of proceeding.
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    Thank you so much for your response. I'm really sorry to hear about your final year of uni. That must've been awful.

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)

    You mention CBT and self-help stuff but nothing about GPs or psychiatrists or meds. Have you seen a medical professional about all this? What about your uni's disability office?

    Is interrupting your studies (taking a year out before coming back to finish your studies) an option?
    I've been to see a few GPs in the past but I've found them to be very ignorant when it comes to mental health problems. I saw many mental health professionals when I was aged 15-19. Never found any of them all that helpful either, because none of them really understood social anxiety disorder, and the NHS mental health services are simply not equipped to deal with people with severe/ chronic problems (in my opinion/ experience, anyway). I asked to be referred back to CMHT again in MARCH, and I am still waiting. I don't hold out much hope that it will help anyway, to be honest. I've been on 2 different SSRIs (fluoxetine and sertraline) in the past, but didn't feel that they helped, and both meds gave me awful side effects. I also take propranolol (as and when needed) to get me through high anxiety events, and that does help.

    I recently started seeing a mental health advisor at uni, and she has helped a little bit. My university's disability office have been aware of my problems (though perhaps not the extent of them) since I started uni.

    I suppose I could take a year out if I have to (I was planning to do this after uni anyway, as I still don't know what I want to do career-wise, and I think I will need a lot of support in order to get graduate job). I've been informed that I can defer graduation (which would give me another two months or so to work on my honours project), so I'm considering doing that if I can get through the rest of this semester.
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    I'm glad you are seeing people at uni - definitely make sure everyone is aware of the full impact your conditions are having on you, so that they can advise you properly. Sorry you've been fobbed off by GPs in the past. I would definitely chase up that CMHT referral to make sure it actually went through - letters (and thus, sadly, people) do end up getting lost in the system. I would try and persevere with that, since I assume medical evidence will be needed to interrupt studies or organise any extenuating circumstances.

    Good luck with figuring out your options and what to do - I really hope it works out OK and that you feel better soon
 
 
 
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