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Girlfriend and I are on a break, what does that mean? watch

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    I've been going out with this amazing girl for over a year now, and we get along really well, but since we've moved to different uni's things have gone down hill.

    It was all fine until I visited her at uni in October. After that she got diagnosed with depression and said that she found me less attractive. I took this on board as it's a common thing with depressed other halves (I did a fair bit of research), but then she started getting more and more distant. This culminated in her asking for time to find herself, and when I asked her if she still loved me she dodged the question.

    Basically, what do I do?
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    There's nothing you can do. Just try to support her. Although I'd say that if she's taking a break and dodging the question of love your relationship is probably over, unfortunately
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going out with this amazing girl for over a year now, and we get along really well, but since we've moved to different uni's things have gone down hill.

    It was all fine until I visited her at uni in October. After that she got diagnosed with depression and said that she found me less attractive. I took this on board as it's a common thing with depressed other halves (I did a fair bit of research), but then she started getting more and more distant. This culminated in her asking for time to find herself, and when I asked her if she still loved me she dodged the question.

    Basically, what do I do?
    I am afraid it looks like she no longer wants to be with you, I would give her space. Trouble is a break never really works, depression is a horrid illness to have so as I said she will need some time and space.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going out with this amazing girl for over a year now, and we get along really well, but since we've moved to different uni's things have gone down hill.

    It was all fine until I visited her at uni in October. After that she got diagnosed with depression and said that she found me less attractive. I took this on board as it's a common thing with depressed other halves (I did a fair bit of research), but then she started getting more and more distant. This culminated in her asking for time to find herself, and when I asked her if she still loved me she dodged the question.

    Basically, what do I do?
    Although the depression thing is awful in it's own sense, the "relationship break" is really only one thing, her - it gives her time to explore other options whilst keeping you along. To me, it sounds like it's over but you should make your own judgement up about that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going out with this amazing girl for over a year now, and we get along really well, but since we've moved to different uni's things have gone down hill.

    It was all fine until I visited her at uni in October. After that she got diagnosed with depression and said that she found me less attractive. I took this on board as it's a common thing with depressed other halves (I did a fair bit of research), but then she started getting more and more distant. This culminated in her asking for time to find herself, and when I asked her if she still loved me she dodged the question.

    Basically, what do I do?
    I've been in a very similar situation (I was the depressed girl) and I lost interest in my boyfriend. I got very temperamental and snappy over small things and I wasn't pleasant to be with. I'd say you really need to talk to your girlfriend and support her as best you can, but be understanding.
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    She sounds ungrateful - dump her!
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    That is exactly what I did when this happened to me too, after talking to another friend with depression, and it looks like she really needed support and was scared.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going out with this amazing girl for over a year now, and we get along really well, but since we've moved to different uni's things have gone down hill.

    It was all fine until I visited her at uni in October. After that she got diagnosed with depression and said that she found me less attractive. I took this on board as it's a common thing with depressed other halves (I did a fair bit of research), but then she started getting more and more distant. This culminated in her asking for time to find herself, and when I asked her if she still loved me she dodged the question.

    Basically, what do I do?
    Harsh, imagine if you said that to her, massive uproar.

    Do you blame the depression for what she said?
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    (Original post by Masih ad-Dajjal)
    The only sorts of breaks you should be having are kitkats and even they will make you fat
    Lol +1 just for this part..
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    my boyfriend broke up with me BECAUSE of depression lmao
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    Find a new one, OP.
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    There's lots of advice around about supporting her etc but that's obviously difficult if she's pushing you away.

    It might help if you are able to meet face to face to talk about how you both feel. I would explain that you still love her (assuming you do!) and want to help her but need to know where things stand with the relationship - you're either in one or you're not. Don't forget to look after yourself as well.
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    I've never heard of "a break" that didn't eventually cause the relationship to end completely to be honest.
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    It means you're single.

    You can still get back with her possibly at a later date.
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    It's basically a case of you're dumped until she says otherwise; but at the same time if you have sex on a break she'll be annoyed. :dontknow:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going out with this amazing girl for over a year now, and we get along really well, but since we've moved to different uni's things have gone down hill.

    It was all fine until I visited her at uni in October. After that she got diagnosed with depression and said that she found me less attractive. I took this on board as it's a common thing with depressed other halves (I did a fair bit of research), but then she started getting more and more distant. This culminated in her asking for time to find herself, and when I asked her if she still loved me she dodged the question.

    Basically, what do I do?
    While depression and losing attraction are perfectly understandable the sad fact for you is that a break is an excuse for her to be able to sleep around without it being prohibited by your relationship. She's perfectly able to find herself dozens of miles away and still call you her boyfriend.

    The big problem you have here though is that you've allowed your girlfriend to dictate the terms of your relationship (you never wanted this break did you?) as opposed to you or both mutually dictating the relationship terms. Your now essentially her ***** in this situation.

    Your relationship is over unless your weak enough to view her sleeping around on break as justified (which is what she will do). Write her off, she's a poor emotional investment.
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    It means you're single.

    You can still get back with her possibly at a later date.
    Would you?
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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    Would you?
    depends if i still like her in that way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going out with this amazing girl for over a year now, and we get along really well, but since we've moved to different uni's things have gone down hill.

    It was all fine until I visited her at uni in October. After that she got diagnosed with depression and said that she found me less attractive. I took this on board as it's a common thing with depressed other halves (I did a fair bit of research), but then she started getting more and more distant. This culminated in her asking for time to find herself, and when I asked her if she still loved me she dodged the question.

    Basically, what do I do?


    Ultimately she's on the way out.

    She's calling it a "break" so that when she meets a new guy there's no way you can call it cheating... but if she doesn't, she can come back to you and have her cake too..

    I would dump her, tell her you're not interested in having a "break" and move on.

    Also, don't "support" her, tell her that it's over and dump her.
 
 
 
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