I suppose I've always been a bit socially awkward/anxious and suffered with low confidence since school (was bullied at senior school here and there), having trouble interacting with strangers/apporaching new people and making conversation. When I started going out when I was 17/18 I probably sort of always used booze as a way of "building up confidence" to approach new people etc which was obviously not good.
Got an apprenticeship when I was 18 spent almost two years there, made massive strides in building confidence and together with going to the gym/boxing and doing positive things and what not improved everything as a whole. Left that job and decided to go to uni last September where I was fine in social situations meeting new people/making conversation and was actually quite pleased with myself. Ended up getting in a relationship with a bird a couple of months in (we've not long split up) and I also dropped out in February as I just did not want to be there. I was unemployed for most of summer (back on track in a full time job with good prospects, going back to uni part time I think) and just kept I suppose mentally torturing myself that I was a failure. I seem now to have reverted back and feel like that nervous/anxious 11 year old little school boy again . I feel nervous and anxious as f**k approaching new people, the only time I ever feel reasonably confident talking to new people is in the gym probably because I feel comfortable in my surroundings and at home there, I mean I even feel awkward as f**k ordering a coffee in Costa! I mean I'd like to meet new people and get back to how I was before. Changed my lifestyle in the sense that I don't really go out on the p*ss much anymore and my life virtually revolves around going to work, going to the gym, eating, sleeping and repeating, so just a bit fed up of everything really. Confidence in meeting new women is a big thing too, can never seem to make conversation and when I have 9/10 it's ended awkwardly, I met this girl because she lived in the same block in halls as me but other than that any girl I've met has generally been from online ha.
Well that's my anonymous rant/moan for today. I take it most people feel the same at some point/have experienced something similar? (Would've thought I'm not the only one).
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