Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

I have a boyfriend, but like somebody else? watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. Most of that has been really good, and he is a great person. Just recently I started a new job, and I'm doing training. At the training I have met somebody, and I can't get them out of my head ever since. We haven't even really spoken much, we just seemed to make an awful lot of eye contact and a weird chemistry when we did. I genuinely feel guilty and disgusted because of how I feel, but I can't help it. What do I do?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. Most of that has been really good, and he is a great person. Just recently I started a new job, and I'm doing training. At the training I have met somebody, and I can't get them out of my head ever since. We haven't even really spoken much, we just seemed to make an awful lot of eye contact and a weird chemistry when we did. I genuinely feel guilty and disgusted because of how I feel, but I can't help it. What do I do?
    Either get a grip and control yourself, or break up with your boyfriend if you want to pursue this new guy.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Can't help chemistry but you can control your actions. Keep the guy at a distance and don't do anything stupid while in a relationship.
    • #2
    #2

    Hey
    am not in a relationship myself but really like this girl but she is already in a relationship. Have got to be careful as I don't want to upset anyone so have got to just batten down my feelings. Can't tell you what to do but if I were you I would just keep your relationship as a friendship unless you really like this guy and drop your first relationship in order to peruse this second guy. I guess it is just whatever feels right... but don't do anything irrational, like date both guys, as it will only cause upset. Hope this helps.

    Stay calm and live well
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It's OK to find other people attractive, just make sure it stays in your head.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    3 years is quite a commitment, don't do anything stupid like breaking up, just control your actions I guess..
    • #3
    #3

    It could just be a phase, wait it out to see if it pases. Ive been in a similar situation. It makes you feel horrible.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/...6809560667.jpg
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. Most of that has been really good, and he is a great person. Just recently I started a new job, and I'm doing training. At the training I have met somebody, and I can't get them out of my head ever since. We haven't even really spoken much, we just seemed to make an awful lot of eye contact and a weird chemistry when we did. I genuinely feel guilty and disgusted because of how I feel, but I can't help it. What do I do?
    Well you could either ignore it and focus your energy into your relationship, with that has it gotten stale and routine? The second thing you could do is break up with your boyfriend if you really do like this other guy more, but I refer to what I previously said, it is tell tell signs your relationship has gotten a bit dull and meeting someone new is exciting you.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. Most of that has been really good, and he is a great person. Just recently I started a new job, and I'm doing training. At the training I have met somebody, and I can't get them out of my head ever since. We haven't even really spoken much, we just seemed to make an awful lot of eye contact and a weird chemistry when we did. I genuinely feel guilty and disgusted because of how I feel, but I can't help it. What do I do?
    Don't leave your man for a temporary guy.

    You have a boyfriend of 3 years who really loves you. Please do not risk it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Wait a while and see, you dont even know if this guy is single or interested, you should wait to see if its hopefully just a passing phase which is common, but maybe this is a sign that you and your boyfriend have had your time and you just dont feel the way you used to?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    you should stay with your boyfriend, as you guys have been together for a long time it would be a shame to break up, and especially since you feel bad about being attracted to this other guy, then it shows you still care about your bf. keep the other guy at a friendly distance and don't let it get to you as much
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. Most of that has been really good, and he is a great person. Just recently I started a new job, and I'm doing training. At the training I have met somebody, and I can't get them out of my head ever since. We haven't even really spoken much, we just seemed to make an awful lot of eye contact and a weird chemistry when we did. I genuinely feel guilty and disgusted because of how I feel, but I can't help it. What do I do?
    You've written this as though you could be my girlfriend. Although to be honest me and my girl are engaged. We've been going out a similar amount of time and she just started a new job. She's distant and communications is limited.

    As a guy that is currently having a psychological meltdown over the prosepct of his girlfriend cheating (and/or) finding another bloke attractive, panicking at the slight thought of her leaving me- because I love her to bits-- for what its worth, don't leave him. Why would you? Do you love your boyfriend as much as you think/or profess too?

    Kinda breaks my heart when I hear stories like this, it is lust what you describe and lustfulness is not really a rational response to how you might actually feel. It may just be a sign you don't love him anymore, maybe not necessarily the fact you like this new guy.

    Although, if you do like said guy more, I'd honestly be honest with yourself about the current state of your relationship.

    Tell me more so I can get more context?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jSDoOldNuU

    Is it that or is it something different?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. Most of that has been really good, and he is a great person. Just recently I started a new job, and I'm doing training. At the training I have met somebody, and I can't get them out of my head ever since. We haven't even really spoken much, we just seemed to make an awful lot of eye contact and a weird chemistry when we did. I genuinely feel guilty and disgusted because of how I feel, but I can't help it. What do I do?
    Based on the fact that you don't like this other guy apart from 'chemistry' and eye contact, I think that it's just infatuation. Love is stronger than infatuation, but less intense. Your best bet would be to get to know the new guy more while keeping yourself out of his reach and him out of your reach sexually and romantically. Just get to know his personality. My bet is that your infatuation with him will wear off as you get to know him, and this will give you even more confidence and strength in your feelings for your boyfriend.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Its normal to find other people attractive. But dont do anything unless you break up.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    There are always going to be other people who are attractive. I would avoid getting to know this new guy if everything else with your boyfriend is fine.

    Why would a person who is happy in their relationship get to know a new person that they are attracted to? That is where things become dangerous!!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 7, 2015
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.