I'm not here for attention at all so please don't give me any, I just need help... I'll try and make this as short as i can, sorry.
I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl for 9 months now, and we split up 3 weeks ago. She's 16 almost 17, I'm 19 and was 18 when we met.
Anyway, we split up 3 weeks ago because of some stupid crap - irrelevant to this.
Anyway, as far as "loving" somebody goes at my age, I really felt she was the one. I met her family, and they're great - I get on with them really well and they genuinely like me back.
We spoke today for a little while and she started being horrible because she wants me back and I've made a bit of a bland effort (Wanted to see how things went rather than getting straight back together/committing anything). The argument went on and on and I just ignored most of what she said, then she told me something that's absolutely killed me, I've hit rock bottom.
A guy asked her out - He's 21, and she's 16. She's considering dating him just to get back at me(at least it seemed like that), and she told me that just to hurt me. I loved her as far as my love for someone goes at this age, and really wanted things to work but like I said wanted to take it easy.
I started crying, and Skyped with her for the first time since we split up because I didn't know what to do - out of panic, I told her that if she doesn't date him then I'd get back with her, because I really can't deal with seeing her with someone else - Now here's another problem.. after what she said, I can't deal with dating a girl who "loves" me, who would hurt me like that in spite - and I know she's going to date him and have sex with him if I don't get back with her.. it hurts because she's going to continue talking to him even if we were back together, and if something goes wrong she'd go back to him again.
The main things I can't deal with are..
A) The fact she'd tell me that just to hurt me
B) Seeing her with him (she's honestly a cute innocent girl, despite how she sounds.. and I know a 21 year old guy would take advantage)
C) The fact that getting back with her is the only thing keeping her away from him
D) The fact he asked her out after 3 days of knowing her and she's considering saying yes in spite of our 9 month relationship.
Really don't know what to do - I know I should leave and that nobody should date somebody like that, but she means so much to me and I find it impossible to just walk away like that.
Sorry about this.. it's just made me hit rock bottom.
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I've hit rock bottom. watch
- Thread Starter
Last edited by Interrobang; 07-11-2015 at 10:00.
- 06-11-2015 01:40
- 06-11-2015 01:53
If you want to be with her then be with her if not then don't. You could get back together and next month she might decide she doesn't want the relationship and the first sentence applies, sometimes in a relationship one wants to split while the other doesn't that's life. If you both want to be together then great.
Sounds like you both need to chill out. You're young teenagers, yes you're capable of starting a family and getting married but really you want to be planning all the amazing things you could be doing before getting married in ten years when you're 30 and she's 28, so travelling the world, maybe working in another country, all the parties and all that in the coming years so seriously if you want to be together then do so, don't fcuk around.
Obviously, you're close for her to tell you about this other guy but she didn't have to and she's free to do what she likes just as you are.
- 06-11-2015 03:53
This is fascinating, going to come back here to see the advice.