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Boyfriend secretly texting another girl-cheating? watch

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    Yesterday I was reading my boyfriend of 2 years texts and found pretty flirting text messages to this girl he works with. Before you tell me I shouldn't be looking at this phone, I was doing it as a joke and in front of him (he was looking at mine as well).
    They were things like "We're missing you when you're not at work xx" and "Next time take me on holiday with you xx", "Thanks darl xx "I just passed in my car and saw you at the bus stop sorry I didn't give you a lift xx" and he's always the one starting the texting, not her. He also messaged her on Facebook, asking how she is etc. There aren't loads of texts but it seems pretty strange as he doesn't text anyone

    I've met her and worked with them both, during that time he was VERY rude to me in front of others, so much so I told him to **** off and I'm not helping anymore and he said sorry I was stressed. But looking back, he never shouted at her once, but he always tells me he doesn't think she's attractive etc.

    Anyway, I haven't spoken to him since I found the texts, I got really mad. Especially as he read my messages to my boss and he said it was flirty that I put "x" in a message and always "jokes" that I'm flirting with guy friends, even though they text me first and I never says anything like he say's to her. I don't even care, if I flirt I always tell him and never hide it.

    What should I do? Am I wrong to be angry?
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    I understand why you'd be angry, because it if he doesn't text much then it is a bit weird, and if he was rude to you in front of people you definitely have a right to be angry. But he hasn't cheated, so you can't be angry about that.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    I understand why you'd be angry, because it if he doesn't text much then it is a bit weird, and if he was rude to you in front of people you definitely have a right to be angry. But he hasn't cheated, so you can't be angry about that.
    I know it's not cheating, but he had a go at me for "flirting" with my boss and all the time he was texting her, he has never even text me that sweetly like he does to her. To me it look's like he's trying to get in her pants, and as she knows me and our friends it show's that my boyfriend has no respect for me, and she has probably told people.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it's not cheating, but he had a go at me for "flirting" with my boss and all the time he was texting her, he has never even text me that sweetly like he does to her. To me it look's like he's trying to get in her pants, and as she knows me and our friends it show's that my boyfriend has no respect for me, and she has probably told people.
    I agree that it's not okay for him to have a go at you, then talk to her like that. And if he doesn't talk to you nicely then that's even worse. If you believe he has no respect for you, coupled with the fact that he's really rude to you in front of people, why are you with him? Ultimately you need to decide if his lack of respect outweighs the positive aspects of your relationship
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    Sounds like he is falling for her, although I reckon he still loves you, just needs a kick up the backside to remind him. Iv been with my gf for about 1.5 years now and forget how lucky I am sometimes.
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    It's not cheating, but certainly questionable in the way of trust.
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    He sounds like a massive hypocrite . . . not worth it
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    I agree that it's not okay for him to have a go at you, then talk to her like that. And if he doesn't talk to you nicely then that's even worse. If you believe he has no respect for you, coupled with the fact that he's really rude to you in front of people, why are you with him? Ultimately you need to decide if his lack of respect outweighs the positive aspects of your relationship
    I know, it was a while ago he shouted at me, it only happened twice at work and he's never usually rude to me in front of others, I just remembered now that looking back he wasn't rude to her once.

    He talk's fine to me to be honest, what I meant was he doesn't say darl in texts or asks if I need a lift anywhere when he's at work as he's busy, he's always been like that so I didn't think much of it until I saw the texts to her.

    But I get your points, thanks.
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    (Original post by NathanDYEL)
    Sounds like he is falling for her, although I reckon he still loves you, just needs a kick up the backside to remind him. Iv been with my gf for about 1.5 years now and forget how lucky I am sometimes.
    Yeah, but he work's with her 10 hours a day 6 day's a week so he actually see's her more so I don't know what to do :/
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    (Original post by goldenshades)
    He sounds like a massive hypocrite . . . not worth it
    Yeah, he tried to pass it off as a joke, but I've been so angry I literary won't speak to him since. If there's one thing I hate it's hypocrisy...
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    Either way, both of you think each other are hypocrites for being flirty with your respective colleagues.

    So I suggest you both stay in this relationship of mutual loathing until either of you decide to cheat.
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    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    Either way, both of you think each other are hypocrites for being flirty with your respective colleagues.

    So I suggest you both stay in this relationship of mutual loathing until either of you decide to cheat.
    Everyone flirts to a certain extent it's unavoidable in my opinion and I'm not a jealous person, but there's a difference between smiling and laughing with someone at work, and being open about it with your partner. But if you try to hide text messages that are so flirty you don't even talk like that to your girlfriend and saying it's okay for me but not for you to text a boy like that, and offering girl a lift when she didn't even ask, and when I beg for a lift to a doctors appointment "he can't just leave work". Don't you think?
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    It's not cheating, but certainly questionable in the way of trust.
    That's what I think. Something very similar happened with my ex, and I let it go and years late I found out he basically tried to cheat on me.
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    It sounds like he probably fancies her a bit/has a soft spot for her, especially as he doesn't text anyone else. But I don't think either of them expects or wants anything to come of it. As for not texting you stuff like that well me and my girlfriend rarely text like that because we are usually talking to each other on the phone or in person instead. It doesn't sound like he has a huge amount of quality interpersonal time with her which is why you are seeing the odd tender sounding words spelt out in text that would have been tears in rain if they were in person/on the phone.

    Anyway most of the stuff you highlighted sounds like fag hag/gay best friend stuff to me tbh, it's pretty weak flirting if that is his intention. As I said indicates more a soft spot to me.

    As for what he says about your male friends it's clear it's a result of insecurity, you should just shrug it off and if he gets funny about it lay into him a bit. Be glad you're not so insecure and do not fall into the trap with this girl.
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    This is why men are so much happier than women socially. He isn't cheating on you unless he's actually started to go out with her, does this mean that as soon as you start texting a guy you're cheating.?
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    (Original post by Will98765)
    This is why men are so much happier than women socially. He isn't cheating on you unless he's actually started to go out with her, does this mean that as soon as you start texting a guy you're cheating.?
    He would NEVER be happy if I text a guy like that. I have guy friends and he's always "joking" that I fancy them, so if I were to text a guy like he text her, believe me he'd think I was cheating on him. So he basically knows it's wrong to talk to a girl like that.

    How would you feel if your girlfriend text a guy she worked with telling him she misses him, babe xx, etc.?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He would NEVER be happy if I text a guy like that. I have guy friends and he's always "joking" that I fancy them, so if I were to text a guy like he text her, believe me he'd think I was cheating on him. So he basically knows it's wrong to talk to a girl like that.

    How would you feel if your girlfriend text a guy she worked with telling him she misses him, babe xx, etc.?
    Girls send each other the same kind of thing, it's ok but when it's to a guy from a girl it isn't... You need to get a grip if anything, there is NOTHING to suggest that's it's gotten serious
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    Well like I said, he wouldn't like it if I flirted like that.
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    Not being funny but I would question why you are in a relationship with him, if he's flirting like that and yet if you did it, he would go mad. It's not very appropriate either way.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Not being funny but I would question why you are in a relationship with him, if he's flirting like that and yet if you did it, he would go mad. It's not very appropriate either way.
    I pretty much went mental at him last night, he just said he knows its wrong but didnt think it was a big deal and went to sleep. I might be over reacting but i have this gut feeling hes tryibg to sleep wirh her, or at least fancies her. I dont think anyone talks to someone like that unless they like them.
 
 
 
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