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    Will cut to the chase.
    - I'm 17.
    - Come from a family of divorced parents. (Dad realised he was gay when I was 7)
    Over the past year had to deal with my mum breaking up/getting back together with a guy we've been working 4 years with him (and his depressed) kids to form a family home. (Moved out of and back into my house).
    - Messed up my AS levels with a wapping BCDE.
    - Girlfriend is in the USA.
    - Was going to see her in December, her mum found some messages and now it is unlikely I will see her before next summer, her mum dislikes me and is giving my girlfriend a ridiculously hard time (For the record me and my girlfriend are really long term) She's kicked her out twice.
    - Parents are being unsupportive, Mum specifically is insulting me, my appearance, my girlfriend (doesn't approve of her, she's old fashioned like that) and both generally giving me a hard time. Both are trying to limit how much we speak to each other to 30 minutes a day, (we talk around 1-2 hours now depending on the day).
    - As well as this Mum is emailing my girlfriends mum and making her ( my girlfriend ) have a harder time.
    - Having a motivational crises with instrumental playing (my talent). Music teachers and my mum are ganging up on me to force me to do more music.
    - Academic achievements with school (B and A grades in essays and tests) aren't or are barely acknowledged by my family.
    - Being threatened to be kicked out of home in some instances.
    - As a result, organisation is everywhere so teachers are getting annoyed.
    - I am beginning to hate both of my parents. As I'm feeling complete emotional neglect in every sense. Whenever I have an issue, it's isn't important or I'm being difficult.

    I tried talking to my mum about the depression, she got angry when I tried talking to some teachers at school about it - called it attention seeking.
    My parents tried talking to me the other day, I didn't have energy to communicate with them.

    Can't sleep due to feeling depressed, worried and upset. I feel the one light of seeing my girlfriend this December has gone and all my motivation for anything has faded.

    I don't really feel like talking to anyone about it, but here trying this thread to see what happens.
    Anything appreciated.
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by chrisshort)
    Will cut to the chase.- I'm 17.- Come from a family of divorced parents. (Dad realised he was gay when I was 7)Over the past year had to deal with my mum breaking up/getting back together with a guy we've been working 4 years with him (and his depressed) kids to form a family home. (Moved out of and back into my house).- Messed up my AS levels with a wapping BCDE.- Girlfriend is in the USA.- Was going to see her in December, her mum found some messages and now it is unlikely I will see her before next summer, her mum dislikes me and is giving my girlfriend a ridiculously hard time (For the record me and my girlfriend are really long term) She's kicked her out twice.- Parents are being unsupportive, Mum specifically is insulting me, my appearance, my girlfriend (doesn't approve of her, she's old fashioned like that) and both generally giving me a hard time. Both are trying to limit how much we speak to each other to 30 minutes a day, (we talk around 1-2 hours now depending on the day).- As well as this Mum is emailing my girlfriends mum and making her ( my girlfriend ) have a harder time.- Having a motivational crises with instrumental playing (my talent). Music teachers and my mum are ganging up on me to force me to do more music.- Academic achievements with school (B and A grades in essays and tests) aren't or are barely acknowledged by my family.- Being threatened to be kicked out of home in some instances.- As a result, organisation is everywhere so teachers are getting annoyed.- I am beginning to hate both of my parents. As I'm feeling complete emotional neglect in every sense. Whenever I have an issue, it's isn't important or I'm being difficult.I tried talking to my mum about the depression, she got angry when I tried talking to some teachers at school about it - called it attention seeking.My parents tried talking to me the other day, I didn't have energy to communicate with them.Can't sleep due to feeling depressed, worried and upset. I feel the one light of seeing my girlfriend this December has gone and all my motivation for anything has faded.I don't really feel like talking to anyone about it, but here trying this thread to see what happens.Anything appreciated.

    Well 180 views and no replies ... wow TSR

    Umm well mate you got yourself in a sticky situation! I'm 17 as well and I can relate to most of the stuff that's happened to you because it's happened in my family too. Lets break it down shall we?

    First of all, you sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders after all the divorce and problems with your mum's relationships - you should be proud of that and it must be exhausting. But don't use it as an excuse to mess up and go off the rails, you're better than that. You've got things to do, you've got a successful life to live - don't mess it up. BCDE ain't too bad you know, I've heard of people getting straight Us, retaking and getting As, getting into top universities for top courses - your AS results ain't everything. You don't even have to retake the whole year, with some hard work and a couple of module retakes you'll be on your way to As and Bs!

    Sounds like your girlfriend's got it bad too - just think though if you too can stick it out another what 6 months? you'll be able to get your own place and get your ass out of there. You could arrange to go live in America or she could come live here with you in the UK and you can study and hey, happy ending! You're literally almost there - but you have to work hard for it to work out. You have to get the grades, get the course and get your life - it'll be worth it.

    Your parents are being ********s for insulting you and limiting your time with your girlfriend - and you have the right to speak out against that. I know it's easier said than done but maybe if you could make your dad feel for you by bringing his story about him coming out and how hard it was for him - and try to get him to understand how hard it is for you. He could be more helpful than your mum because he can probably relate more to you. I know if I spoke out against the verbal abuse I get from my family I'd be digging myself a grave! But maybe yours are more rational than mine.

    Tell your gf to block her on her mum's email - and that's harrassment tbh your mum could get into a lot of trouble because of that. Tell your gf to forward the emails to you - proof in case you guys wanna do something about it.

    You could use your music to express yourself and relieve some of the built up stress you got inside and any anger you feel. If you don't want to do that tell them to sod off because you don't want to. Tell them to go play themselves if they really wanted to.

    I get loads of **** for getting Bs (got BBCC in my AS levels and before I told them on the phone they said "if you got a C, don't come home")- and when I finally get an A they say "oh well an A is 80% you have no excuse NOT to get an A"
    I've learned to ignore it - **** them man you don't need their acknowledgement because tbh they'll never acknowledge anything you do. They'll always find a flaw - it's sad but it's the way it is so you and your gf support each other with your achievements - you don't need anyone else to tell you you're great because you know so yourself.

    Being kicked out is really hard - you have no idea where you'll sleep, how you'll eat, how you'll stay safe at night. Try not to get on their bad side until your 18th birthday because if you're kicked out ... it's gonna be realllly tough mate. They're giving you food and shelter and if you still want that provided you've gotta do what they want. When you're 18, you can live on your own and won't need to be afraid of being kicked out.

    My teachers are pissed off with me as well but God help me if I mention anything my parents will literally end me. Just try really hard to get your **** together - make school your priority. Get to the GP and talk to them about your depression (I haven't done it yet so can't advise you) and get your medication or therapy, pull your **** together and build your life. You may not succeed this year, but you've got what like 60 years ahead of you to try again so don't you worry my friend - you'll get there in the end. The teachers are useless anyway, all they do is tell your parents. Just tell them you're finding it hard and to cut you some slack. Your GP is who you'll be more personal with cos they need to keep it confidential and can't say anything to anyone if you don't want them to. They'll really help you.

    You'll never see your girlfriend if you don't pull your **** together now and do the work! Before you would've seen her for like a week in December, now you can spend the rest of your LIFE with her and you can only do so if you're in a position where you can support both of you, you've got your future career sorted and you've got your life together. That way you can cut the poisonous ties with those who hurt you off, and start over. But if you keep sulking and never regain the motivation you won't be able to do it. If you REALLY want this - you'll get it. You HAVE to do it. and you CAN, and you WILL. I'm rooting for you bro.

    Good luck :hugs:
 
 
 
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