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Should I feel stupid for this happening with boyfriend? watch

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    Boyfriend had surgery yesterday on his arm muscle, I was meant to be picking him up today (about a 30- 40 min drive away) and looking after him since he has no family around who can help. She said he would be speaking to the consultant at 10am then would ring or text. I've been downstairs having my breakfast my phone was upstairs in my room at it wasn't 10am yet. At 9.40 then saw a text that was sent at 9.21 saying that I could pick him him when I'm ready and a missed call. I rang him and said I was comming now I've only just got the text and he said 'uhh never mind I'll get the bus' I said 'I'll come up' he said 'no forget it I'll get the bus, ok bye' abruptly. He doesn't drive and in the past says I need to be more on the ball with things so he's probably short tempered as he thinks it relates to this.
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    He's overreacted a bit imo, you weren't expecting him to call so early so for him to get in a mood about it is a bit unreasonable
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    TBF to you, you were told 10am.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Boyfriend had surgery yesterday on his arm muscle, I was meant to be picking him up today (about a 30- 40 min drive away) and looking after him since he has no family around who can help. She said he would be speaking to the consultant at 10am then would ring or text. I've been downstairs having my breakfast my phone was upstairs in my room at it wasn't 10am yet. At 9.40 then saw a text that was sent at 9.21 saying that I could pick him him when I'm ready and a missed call. I rang him and said I was comming now I've only just got the text and he said 'uhh never mind I'll get the bus' I said 'I'll come up' he said 'no forget it I'll get the bus, ok bye' abruptly. He doesn't drive and in the past says I need to be more on the ball with things so he's probably short tempered as he thinks it relates to this.
    Should have stopped reading after this. Give the guy a break.

    Yes, he is in the wrong and shouldn't have snapped.. however now isn't the time to be having a moan.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    He's overreacted a bit imo, you weren't expecting him to call so early so for him to get in a mood about it is a bit unreasonable
    It just makes me feel daft though as though I've not helped in any way. Also I've not gone to a sports competition today because I was meant to be picking him up/looking after him and he'l tell the others I could have gone as I didn't pick him up. He probably won't contact me when he gets home and he lives on his own.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She said he would be speaking to the consultant at 10am then would ring or text.
    Who's she?

    More on the point, I can quite empathise with the guy - I dunno, if I was having surgery, it'd be nice if my girlfriend was in the hospital with me and not have to call her to come pick me up, so having to call and being ignored (albeit unintentionally) would probably have me a little short-tempered for a while. He may also potentially have just been given bad news/be frustrated/consultant said something bad/feeling bad he can't use his arm for a while/feels helpless or hapless/a range of other things from the surgery that helped factor into him being a little abrupt.

    So perhaps just have a quick talk with him and get him to see that you're not at fault. I feel that you apologising for leaving your phone upstairs will go a long way to make him feel better, he'll appreciate it (hopefully)!
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    (Original post by Reue)
    Should have stopped reading after this. Give the guy a break.

    Yes, he is in the wrong and shouldn't have snapped.. however now isn't the time to be having a moan.
    Should I just leave him then and wait to see if he calls, he lives on his own, what would you do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Should I just leave him then and wait to see if he calls, he lives on his own, what would you do?
    Go see him and provide some comfort!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Should I just leave him then and wait to see if he calls, he lives on his own, what would you do?
    Leave him to it for a bit. He'll simmer down and get in touch when ready.
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    He was perhaps a bit short, but he's just spent a night in hospital after having surgery so perhaps be a little more understanding.

    I would have kept my phone by me though, just incase you heard anything earlier. It would have been more thoughtful really. Just go down and see him.
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    (Original post by Zacken)
    Who's she?

    More on the point, I can quite empathise with the guy - I dunno, if I was having surgery, it'd be nice if my girlfriend was in the hospital with me and not have to call her to come pick me up, so having to call and being ignored (albeit unintentionally) would probably have me a little short-tempered for a while. He may also potentially have just been given bad news/be frustrated/consultant said something bad/feeling bad he can't use his arm for a while/feels helpless or hapless/a range of other things from the surgery that helped factor into him being a little abrupt.

    So perhaps just have a quick talk with him and get him to see that you're not at fault. I feel that you apologising for leaving your phone upstairs will go a long way to make him feel better, he'll appreciate it (hopefully)!
    You mean I should have gone up earlier? I didn't think of this I thought I was doing everything I was supposed to. We talked last night on the phone and he just said he was speaking to the consultant at 10 and that he would ring so I was just going with this.
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    He was perhaps a bit short, but he's just spent a night in hospital after having surgery so perhaps be a little more understanding.

    I would have kept my phone by me though, just incase you heard anything earlier. It would have been more thoughtful really. Just go down and see him.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You mean I should have gone up earlier? I didn't think of this I thought I was doing everything I was supposed to. We talked last night on the phone and he just said he was speaking to the consultant at 10 and that he would ring so I was just going with this.
    I agree whole-heartedly with Twinpeaks! It's not a requisite that you went up to see him earlier, there's nothing that "you should be doing", but it would have been nice, that's in the past forget about it, see if you can go down and see him, that would be thoughtful.
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    Think you can understand if he's a bit off, as you said he had surgery so maybe he will come round a bit later, just give him a bit of time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Boyfriend had surgery yesterday on his arm muscle, I was meant to be picking him up today (about a 30- 40 min drive away) and looking after him since he has no family around who can help. She said he would be speaking to the consultant at 10am then would ring or text. I've been downstairs having my breakfast my phone was upstairs in my room at it wasn't 10am yet. At 9.40 then saw a text that was sent at 9.21 saying that I could pick him him when I'm ready and a missed call. I rang him and said I was comming now I've only just got the text and he said 'uhh never mind I'll get the bus' I said 'I'll come up' he said 'no forget it I'll get the bus, ok bye' abruptly. He doesn't drive and in the past says I need to be more on the ball with things so he's probably short tempered as he thinks it relates to this.
    Just go now! Go say 'hi, sorry, how ya doing?'... If you were meant to be seeing him anyway, it would show that you're still thinking about him and it was just a genuine mistake
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    (Original post by Alexion)
    Just go now! Go say 'hi, sorry, how ya doing?'... If you were meant to be seeing him anyway, it would show that you're still thinking about him and it was just a genuine mistake
    Yea thanks, I sent a text saying im comming visiting and he sent one back saying 'its ok, im in bed now'. So what am i supposed to do :/
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    (Original post by Zacken)
    Go see him and provide some comfort!
    This is how easy it should be isnt it. I text him at 12 saying i was going round he text back 'its ok, ive gone to bed now'.
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    You do what he asks, let him rest if he has had surgery, I am sure he will message again if he needs you.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    You do what he asks, let him rest if he has had surgery, I am sure he will message again if he needs you.
    Ok, I guess its all i can do i might as well do some housework lol, thanks guys.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yea thanks, I sent a text saying im comming visiting and he sent one back saying 'its ok, im in bed now'. So what am i supposed to do :/
    He's pissed off, just leave him alone for a bit.

    It was reasonable of you to leave your phone somewhere else in the circumstances. The way he probably sees it, though, it wouldn't have been hard to keep it nearby just in case. Especially if he's already gotten annoyed with you for similar things in the past.
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    He sounds a bit rude to be honest. Just see what develops - you've not done anything wrong, he's just flouncing. I can't cope with brats so it's a good job he's not my boyfriend!
 
 
 
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