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Moving to France for work leaving my friends behind watch

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    Next month I'll be starting a new job in France, I am a recent graduate having graduated in September deciding to stay in my University town but because my degree was in Film Production its extremely hard to find a job locally.

    I always wanted to work abroad but I wanted to do something related to my degree, so I decided to apply for a job role in France for 7 months, I got the job my flight and accommodation paid for by them.

    I told my family about this my mum and dad are completely fine with it, they have the same attitude as me, don't sit around doing nothing make the most out of life.

    The next step was to sort out moving out of the current rented property I am staying at. I have find someone to replace me in order to move out of my house, my landlord found someone straight away so I won't have to cover for rent any further as I would have to continue paying it until July 2016 when my contract for the house would end if I were to stay.

    I then told my friends the plans having sorted out a majority of the plans already. At first they probably thought I was lying about it going on about a job never going to happen but it actually is.

    I've been quite fed up recently being a graduate and it felt weird still hanging out with students, felt like I over stayed my welcome in the town. I am often over at student halls where I use to live visiting friends who are now in their 2nd and 3rd years of uni.

    They have become more distant to me so when we go on nights out, I come over for pre-drinks then we would go out to whatever club but they don't speak as much anymore so I felt totally ignored so quite a few times I ended up going home early as I didn't want to be following people around. It wasn't until on Halloween when I left usually I don't tell anyone because they tend not to notice. So when I left and got home I got loads of messages where am I and that, I told them that not interested hanging out if just being ignored.

    They told not to be a attention seeker which isn't the point just wanted to be included so now I don't go up at all. Now that I'll moving out soon to go to France but making a stop at my hometown first visit family and dump my stuff off as I won't be in the UK over christmas wanted to see them. I told my friends this and that I won't be to see them until June, none of them were happy for me they thought I was being selfish and saying that I've changed, I don't care. Not the case I just want to work.

    When I get back I still want to come and visit but feel like they're not interested so don't know if I should bother or not. It became more clear they were ignoring me because of decisions going to France. All staying I changed, I use to party goer but I have to and want them to understand I need to move to work.

    I don't know what to do about them really? I don't know what I should do, I thought of just going not saying goodbye but would that be disrespectful? How do I keep these friendships. Some of are my best friends but saying that I've changed, I don't know what they right step is.

    So what advice can you give me and what should I do?
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    If this is really what you want out of life then nothing should stop you, I mean France sounds like a great oppurtunity, keep in contact with your friends and tell them this is something you want to do and you don't understand why they are ignoring you because of it.

    Everyone changes btw, that's just life. No one can expect you to stay the same and feel the same about things all the time, we out grow things as humans, if we never 'changed' then we would still have the understanding of a 5 year old. Tell them that everyone changes but this isn't a matter of change, it's a job oppurtunity.

    At the end of the day OP, if they don't respect your decisions then it's not worth the friendship tbh. Friendships are supportive and comforting, it doesn't seem like your friends are really doing that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Next month I'll be starting a new job in France, I am a recent graduate having graduated in September deciding to stay in my University town but because my degree was in Film Production its extremely hard to find a job locally.

    I always wanted to work abroad but I wanted to do something related to my degree, so I decided to apply for a job role in France for 7 months, I got the job my flight and accommodation paid for by them.

    I told my family about this my mum and dad are completely fine with it, they have the same attitude as me, don't sit around doing nothing make the most out of life.

    The next step was to sort out moving out of the current rented property I am staying at. I have find someone to replace me in order to move out of my house, my landlord found someone straight away so I won't have to cover for rent any further as I would have to continue paying it until July 2016 when my contract for the house would end if I were to stay.

    I then told my friends the plans having sorted out a majority of the plans already. At first they probably thought I was lying about it going on about a job never going to happen but it actually is.

    I've been quite fed up recently being a graduate and it felt weird still hanging out with students, felt like I over stayed my welcome in the town. I am often over at student halls where I use to live visiting friends who are now in their 2nd and 3rd years of uni.

    They have become more distant to me so when we go on nights out, I come over for pre-drinks then we would go out to whatever club but they don't speak as much anymore so I felt totally ignored so quite a few times I ended up going home early as I didn't want to be following people around. It wasn't until on Halloween when I left usually I don't tell anyone because they tend not to notice. So when I left and got home I got loads of messages where am I and that, I told them that not interested hanging out if just being ignored.

    They told not to be a attention seeker which isn't the point just wanted to be included so now I don't go up at all. Now that I'll moving out soon to go to France but making a stop at my hometown first visit family and dump my stuff off as I won't be in the UK over christmas wanted to see them. I told my friends this and that I won't be to see them until June, none of them were happy for me they thought I was being selfish and saying that I've changed, I don't care. Not the case I just want to work.

    When I get back I still want to come and visit but feel like they're not interested so don't know if I should bother or not. It became more clear they were ignoring me because of decisions going to France. All staying I changed, I use to party goer but I have to and want them to understand I need to move to work.

    I don't know what to do about them really? I don't know what I should do, I thought of just going not saying goodbye but would that be disrespectful? How do I keep these friendships. Some of are my best friends but saying that I've changed, I don't know what they right step is.

    So what advice can you give me and what should I do?
    For heavens sake you are going to France not outer Mongolia - what a wonderful opportunity. You will make some new friends, speak the language fluently and have a wonderful time. What a great time you will have. You are probably just feeling a bit anxious at leaving home. Grab these chances whilst you can - what is the alternative - sitting around unemployed in your home town.
 
 
 
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