I love my family but I don't feel close to them. I went through a series of severe mental health issues which have made the problems worse. As the youngest of the family, I feel I've been treated as the baby throughout my whole life (I am 18 now) and have been restricted in my understanding of the real world. Either that, or my parents are too middle class to talk to me about relationships, sex etc. or to have a joke with me appropriate to my age. Throughout my childhood, if my friends were out doing something, I probably wouldn't have been allowed. I had to beg and beg to get them to allow me to have a party for my recent 18th, and even then they were ridiculously strict. Because of how strict they have been, I feel like I have really struggled in finding my own identity and, what used to be a really lively, funny and enthusiastic person, has become a dull and boring, self-concious character. I no longer know how to fit in and I keep learning more and more how naive I have become as a result of this emotional oppression. I can't tell my parents how I feel, ever. I can't talk to my dad about girls or anything else that would happen in a father-son relationship. My relationship with dad has just gone cold, and the same is happening with mum. I hate it. It makes me so sad that I feel so detached from them now. I am beginning to develop a personality with new friends I am starting to form at college, but I have to hide this personality from my parents because it is not like theirs. They are very serious and I don't want to be all serious right now. I want to enjoy my youth and be funny, have fun and banter with people but I just can't do it. When I see other people's relationships with their parents, where they can talk openly about anything and have a laugh and use language appropriate for their age, I just get so jealous and sad. I feel like my dad especially tries to make me laugh through humour younger than my age, and when he talks to me, he sometimes puts on that higher voice you do to add enthusiasm when you speak to children, which is just patronising.
I hate what's become of my family but I love them. I don't know what do do
What are the downsides?