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Post-graduate blues... watch

    • Thread Starter

    Bit of a rant about my uni days and regrets but I don’t know where to start.

    I grew up and was never that social, although played sports very well so got away with it and had some good friends from school who I am still quite close to. By the time school ended, I went to uni based on sport as opposed to social reasons and how i’d fit in, (although it is a large UK city that is very vibrant).

    Perhaps what is key is that none of my friends went there, so I had to start again and I also selected halls which I didn’t really share things in common with. I went to a southern private school and it seems there are specific halls for those to reside in and others don’t tend to view those ‘posh gits’ as favourably. This combined with me not drinking until this year aged 23 and post-grad made life worse.

    I didn’t drink growing up so ended up going to uni at 18 playing sport at a decent level focussing on that, to the detriment of my social life. This coinciding with me developing binge eating disorder and putting on 2-3 stone (which I had worked hard to lose in my last year of school). I ended up being overweight and miserable throughout my undergrad and people probably thought this was me being grumpy and unapproachable and never made any real lasting friends at uni aside from knowing people from sports and odd person here and there. I can talk to some of them here and there but it would generally be out of the blue. A few people had something against me and I would get the odd snide comment for no reason whatsoever.

    Fast forward to now, I took a year out and went back to do post-grad work, which I am now in my 2nd and final year of (6th year out of school). All of my friends are working now and sometimes go out with them and it just seems they had such a good time at university. Whereas I don’t play sport to the same level due to injuries/that time spent overweight, so messed that up and my social life was a complete flop at uni. I kind of feel like I’ve completely missed out.

    It seems like if I didn’t at least play some sport, my life would be even more empty than it already is!

    Where do I go from here? Is there any going back? I know I won’t be able to relive my 18-21 university undergrad days but how do I make up for it the best I can? I appreciate that students will largely be younger than this age range but any advice would be appreciated.

    The weight does have an influence socially but it’s also the lack of confidence/self-esteem and the fact that I always feel as though I need to be losing weight, so follow diets and lack energy. I really want to lose the excess weight for sporting reasons too, but also to improve my looks. I’m 23 now and never had a girlfriend and still don’t know how to act around girls (I went to a boys school). I'm behind the game and now is the time to start working and settling down slowly...
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