Slept with a guy who has a girlfriend, what do I do?

F**k sake. A couple of nights ago I had a one night stand with a guy I got talking to on... tinder *holds head in hands with shame*. I'm not going to lie, it was probably the best sex I've ever had. I've never had a one night stand before and it felt mysterious and naughty which in turn made the sex awesome! Anyway, the deed was done and he left my house the morning after and we continued to text throughout the day. I told my friend what happened and her jaw dropped... I asked her what was wrong... She informed me that she knew who he was and that he has been in a relationship for two years, she even knew his girlfriend and we stalked her on social media and sure enough they were together. My heart sank! I've stopped talking to him despite the fact he keeps messaging me asking when we can next meet up etc.

My dilemma in all of this is... Do I tell his girlfriend? I don't want to be the bearer of bad news and I don't want to be the reason for a break up. However, if it was me, I'd want to know and what's to say he's not going to carry on cheating on her with other people? I'm probably not the first or the last.

If I do tell her how do I even word it? I feel like telling her is the right thing to do. I was going to tell him that I knew he had a girlfriend, but then the ball is in his court.

Help!

FYI - Just to clarify I did not know he had a girlfriend when I slept with him. I do not condone cheating.

Reply 1

sophiex556

3

The best thing to do is tell her. Because at the end of the day you would want to know and Like you said I doubt you are are first girl he's cheated with if he's on tinder (no offence). Just when telling her make sure you emphasis that fact you didn't know he had a girlfriend until after. Good luck

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 2

princessmaide

1

dont tell her, just wait till something comes up... and you've already done it anyway

Reply 3

MrsSheldonCooper

20

I'd say tell her. In the long run it would save a lot of heartbreak and the gf would know how much of a sleazy cheater he is

Reply 4

Tiger Rag

22

If you tell her, he may say you're just **** stirring and are just jealous.

Reply 5

TrotskyiteRebel

18

Tell her. She deserves to know what a piece of **** whore her bf is and me her mind whether she wants to be with him or not. No one wants to be cheated on.

Reply 6

sophiex556

3

Original post by OU Student

If you tell her, he may say you're just **** stirring and are just jealous.

Who cares if he does though. He's a dirty cheat and his girlfriend has a right to know. OP isn't in fault here as she didn't know.

Reply 7

slade p

4

Don't tell her GF, your certainly no one to be telling the GF. leave it as it is and be ashamed of yourself.

Reply 8

TreeFellOnMe

15

Original post by OU Student

If you tell her, he may say you're just **** stirring and are just jealous.

She should have a log of the texts

Reply 9

Simes

16

Original post by slade p

…be ashamed of yourself.

OP, ignore that bit.

Reply 10

Reue

20

Don't tell her. You've no idea what's going on between them, they may be on a break or faking the relationship still being together for any number of other reasons. Just block/delete him from everything and move on with your life. No need to be involved in any potential fallout from this.

Reply 11

Zarek

21

His problem rather than yours. Keep shtum as you would not be thanked for bearing bad news.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 12

simbasdragon

19

Don't be ashamed of yourself, you had no idea and have thus done nothing wrong. I'd maybe send a message to his girlfriend warning her, or if you don't want to get involved then leave it. It will get out eventually.

Reply 13

supernerdural

15

Tell her. She'll hate you now but in the long run she'll be grateful. A situation like this happened to me and his girlfriend confronted me and it was one of the worse experiences of my life, but when she found out it wasn't just me he'd cheated with she hated him more than she hated me. If you calls you a liar, show her his tinder profile and if she still doesn't believe you then show her the messages. It will hurt her but at least it will prove it. It will suck telling her, but she deserves the truth. How would you feel if you were in her position? Don't let him get away with lying and making the hurt worse as he does it again and again.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

F**k sake. A couple of nights ago I had a one night stand with a guy I got talking to on... tinder *holds head in hands with shame*. I'm not going to lie, it was probably the best sex I've ever had. I've never had a one night stand before and it felt mysterious and naughty which in turn made the sex awesome! Anyway, the deed was done and he left my house the morning after and we continued to text throughout the day. I told my friend what happened and her jaw dropped... I asked her what was wrong... She informed me that she knew who he was and that he has been in a relationship for two years, she even knew his girlfriend and we stalked her on social media and sure enough they were together. My heart sank! I've stopped talking to him despite the fact he keeps messaging me asking when we can next meet up etc.

My dilemma in all of this is... Do I tell his girlfriend? I don't want to be the bearer of bad news and I don't want to be the reason for a break up. However, if it was me, I'd want to know and what's to say he's not going to carry on cheating on her with other people? I'm probably not the first or the last.

If I do tell her how do I even word it? I feel like telling her is the right thing to do. I was going to tell him that I knew he had a girlfriend, but then the ball is in his court.

Help!

FYI - Just to clarify I did not know he had a girlfriend when I slept with him. I do not condone cheating.

This video is kinda like your story:

[video="youtube;s-82dxDlEN0"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-82dxDlEN0#t=3m48s[/video]

tell her

Original post by OU Student

If you tell her, he may say you're just **** stirring and are just jealous.

but she will have the texts and tinder messages?

Reply 17

Minamenae

3

Original post by Anonymous

F**k sake. A couple of nights ago I had a one night stand with a guy I got talking to on... tinder *holds head in hands with shame*. I'm not going to lie, it was probably the best sex I've ever had. I've never had a one night stand before and it felt mysterious and naughty which in turn made the sex awesome! Anyway, the deed was done and he left my house the morning after and we continued to text throughout the day. I told my friend what happened and her jaw dropped... I asked her what was wrong... She informed me that she knew who he was and that he has been in a relationship for two years, she even knew his girlfriend and we stalked her on social media and sure enough they were together. My heart sank! I've stopped talking to him despite the fact he keeps messaging me asking when we can next meet up etc.

My dilemma in all of this is... Do I tell his girlfriend? I don't want to be the bearer of bad news and I don't want to be the reason for a break up. However, if it was me, I'd want to know and what's to say he's not going to carry on cheating on her with other people? I'm probably not the first or the last.

If I do tell her how do I even word it? I feel like telling her is the right thing to do. I was going to tell him that I knew he had a girlfriend, but then the ball is in his court.

Help!

FYI - Just to clarify I did not know he had a girlfriend when I slept with him. I do not condone cheating.

You should definitely tell her.. but confront him about it first (I know it's bad..try and record the convo when u are confronting him about it so if he was to lie his way out of it u have prove.