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I feel incredibly lonely watch

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    So for quite a while I've been feeling really lonely.
    I lost my parents a while ago, and I'm currently living with my friends, and they see me as quite a clingy person, but I just want some company...

    There is this guy who has been flirting with me, and, although I don't fancy him, lately I've been wondering that maybe I should ask him out purely to feel loved and not so lonely. This is terrible and I don't really want to do it (especially because it wouldn't be fair on him).

    This is eating me alive and I don't know how to cope.
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    Don't ask out the guy just to stop loneliness, that's not fair. Go out and make some new friends and divide your time between so as not to seem clingy. If you're in uni, join societies etc.

    Also, I know this is hard, but you will need to find a way to be independent enough to not feel lonely in your own company. Use distractions, find a hobby.

    Sorry about your parents.
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    (Original post by kantdothis)
    Don't ask out the guy just to stop loneliness, that's not fair. Go out and make some new friends and divide your time between so as not to seem clingy. If you're in uni, join societies etc.

    Also, I know this is hard, but you will need to find a way to be independent enough to not feel lonely in your own company. Use distractions, find a hobby.

    Sorry about your parents.
    It's easy to say that I should "find a way to be independent" etc. But I genuinely feel like I've just been thrown out of a boat. I've joined societies, clubs, unions etc. My time is so filled that I don't think I could find any more time for extra friends. I still feel lonely and this is the problem. I'm not dependent on other people (from my point of view...).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's easy to say that I should "find a way to be independent" etc. But I genuinely feel like I've just been thrown out of a boat. I've joined societies, clubs, unions etc. My time is so filled that I don't think I could find any more time for extra friends. I still feel lonely and this is the problem. I'm not dependent on other people (from my point of view...).
    Then perhaps you should find someone you fancy and date someone for companionship - not be guy you mentioned because that'd be using.
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    (Original post by kantdothis)
    Then perhaps you should find someone you fancy and date someone for companionship - not be guy you mentioned because that'd be using.
    I've been considering that.
    I know I shouldn't date that guy as it really would be fair on him.
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    It's horrible feeling lonely. Maybe you can retain the guy as a good friend. But it does seem as if you need a find a partner for some fun and emotional support. Perhaps focus on this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So for quite a while I've been feeling really lonely.
    I lost my parents a while ago, and I'm currently living with my friends, and they see me as quite a clingy person, but I just want some company...

    There is this guy who has been flirting with me, and, although I don't fancy him, lately I've been wondering that maybe I should ask him out purely to feel loved and not so lonely. This is terrible and I don't really want to do it (especially because it wouldn't be fair on him).

    This is eating me alive and I don't know how to cope.
    Such a bad idea. A bad idea has never turned into a good idea along the way.
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    It's horrible feeling lonely. Maybe you can retain the guy as a good friend. But it does seem as if you need a find a partner for some fun and emotional support. Perhaps focus on this.
    I want to, but I live kinda in the middle of nowhere and I am trying so hard to do well with my studies, that I am very worried I won't be able to dedicated enough time for him/her.
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    (Original post by i<3milkshake)
    Such a bad idea. A bad idea has never turned into a good idea along the way.
    I know. I really don't want to do it as it would be so incredibly unfair on him, but at the same time, loneliness kinda kicks in and all I can do is try to find a way to make it go away.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know. I really don't want to do it as it would be so incredibly unfair on him, but at the same time, loneliness kinda kicks in and all I can do is try to find a way to make it go away.
    it won't make it go away. All that will happen is that you will go out with him, you won't like him, and you will have to deal with how to let him down and worry about that as well.

    Plus you could lose a friend.

    I agree with you, being lonely is horrible, but that won't help at all
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    I feel incredibly lonely at times too. I think we will get along well.
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    (Original post by kantdothis)
    Then perhaps you should find someone you fancy and date someone for companionship - not be guy you mentioned because that'd be using.
    Well, more likely she'll get taken advantage of as an easy bonk - girls dating due to loneliness rarely get anything else
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    Sorry just going to reiterate people here, but don't ask them out 'cause you're lonely that's a very bad reason to do so. A quote springs to mind, something along the lines of "you must learn to love yourself before loving someone else".
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    OP rather than join loads of clubs or whatever you need to selectively pick a couple and pour a lot of effort into them - to avoid being "that person" who turns up, silently takes part and then vanishes again.

    Clubs are only the public front of a whole lot of other socialising between members, you need to tap into that aspect
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    (Original post by Architecture-er)
    Well, more likely she'll get taken advantage of as an easy bonk - girls dating due to loneliness rarely get anything else
    I am very disappointed your signature didn't taste of orange and I am very impressed at your post count.
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
    I am very disappointed your signature didn't taste of orange and I am very impressed at your post count.
    Thank you, they're both horrific lies.
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    (Original post by coffin_suresh)
    I feel incredibly lonely at times too. I think we will get along well.
    We certainly would.
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    (Original post by Architecture-er)
    OP rather than join loads of clubs or whatever you need to selectively pick a couple and pour a lot of effort into them - to avoid being "that person" who turns up, silently takes part and then vanishes again.

    Clubs are only the public front of a whole lot of other socialising between members, you need to tap into that aspect
    I tend to hold quite high positions in clubs and societies, so I have to communicate with most members very time there is a meeting...

    And I do socialise outside the clubs, that's the thing - a whole load of people around me, everywhere, talk to me, spending time with me, and i still can't help but feel lonely.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I tend to hold quite high positions in clubs and societies, so I have to communicate with most members very time there is a meeting...

    And I do socialise outside the clubs, that's the thing - a whole load of people around me, everywhere, talk to me, spending time with me, and i still can't help but feel lonely.
    Well loneliness is defined as being solitary or without companionship... perhaps you're lacking personal 1-on-1 connections within these societies?
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    Maybe you just crave some kind of family-like community?
 
 
 
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