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How do I tell my teammates that I like girls? watch

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    I'm on a university sports team and whilst I'm not actually sure if I'm gay, I think that I like girls more than guys. Whilst my club is accepting, it is also very 'straight'. Literally one of the most common sportsnight occurrences is that the girls of the club will get with the guys etc. and this all then gets discussed later on in the week along with the rest of our love lives.

    I just have no attraction to any of the guys but have plenty of attraction to some of the girls (obviously I'm not going to tell them this). I know that I don't have to tell them anything about my sexuality but the other day day I pretty much got cornered on the way back from a match because everyone was talking about stuff that had happened to them. I managed to avoid the conversation by going to the loo and they forgot when I came back.

    This has all just been pressing on my mind for the past few months because we literally tell each other our deepest stuff and it stays within the team (not the club, just the team) but me not being able to tell them feels like I'm building this wall. It's got to the point where I think it may be affecting my game play and it is starting to feel like when I hadn't told any of my friends from back home about my sexuality. Being 'back in the closet' again

    What should I do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm on a university sports team and whilst I'm not actually sure if I'm gay, I think that I like girls more than guys. Whilst my club is accepting, it is also very 'straight'. Literally one of the most common sportsnight occurrences is that the girls of the club will get with the guys etc. and this all then gets discussed later on in the week along with the rest of our love lives.

    I just have no attraction to any of the guys but have plenty of attraction to some of the girls (obviously I'm not going to tell them this). I know that I don't have to tell them anything about my sexuality but the other day day I pretty much got cornered on the way back from a match because everyone was talking about stuff that had happened to them. I managed to avoid the conversation by going to the loo and they forgot when I came back.

    This has all just been pressing on my mind for the past few months because we literally tell each other our deepest stuff and it stays within the team (not the club, just the team) but me not being able to tell them feels like I'm building this wall. It's got to the point where I think it may be affecting my game play and it is starting to feel like when I hadn't told any of my friends from back home about my sexuality. Being 'back in the closet' again

    What should I do?
    If I were you, and they'd ask me something like "Which of the guys did you hook up?" or "Who do you fancy then?" or anything else along those lines, I'd say that I don't fancy anyone at the moment. Might seem like a lie, but who cares.

    It is totally up to you whether or not you choose to tell them about your sexuality. It really shouldn't be a big deal. If you guys are really that close, then they will be accepting. You shouldn't be worrying about this or struggling with this. It's all okay. How comes they can talk freely about their relationship etc., but you put so much time into worrying about this?

    Just take a deep breath and don't overthink this. It is okay to fancy girls, boys, both. It's all fine. If things come to it, then feel confident to tell them that you fancy some girls, but none of the guys. They might be a bit confused at first, but it shouldn't be an issue if you are indeed so close. This should be socially acceptable (people having different sexualities/confused about their sexualities), and most people are totally fine with it. So just do whatever feels right, but you certainly shouldn't worry about it.
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    Saying 'i like girls' might help.......
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    (Original post by NathanDYEL.)
    Saying 'i like girls' might help.......
    Yeah, but she's still not sure of her sexuality + you never know a homophobic until you see them encounter a homosexual person. Besides, this shouldn't be such a big issue. This should be like saying that she is straight. It annoys me when people don't free to identify with their sexuality (either just with themselves or in public).
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    (Original post by saule1116)
    If I were you, and they'd ask me something like "Which of the guys did you hook up?" or "Who do you fancy then?" or anything else along those lines, I'd say that I don't fancy anyone at the moment. Might seem like a lie, but who cares.

    It is totally up to you whether or not you choose to tell them about your sexuality. It really shouldn't be a big deal. If you guys are really that close, then they will be accepting. You shouldn't be worrying about this or struggling with this. It's all okay. How comes they can talk freely about their relationship etc., but you put so much time into worrying about this?

    Just take a deep breath and don't overthink this. It is okay to fancy girls, boys, both. It's all fine. If things come to it, then feel confident to tell them that you fancy some girls, but none of the guys. They might be a bit confused at first, but it shouldn't be an issue if you are indeed so close. This should be socially acceptable (people having different sexualities/confused about their sexualities), and most people are totally fine with it. So just do whatever feels right, but you certainly shouldn't worry about it.
    Thanks for the advice

    I don't know why. I think it's because I've never had a bad reaction to anyone finding out I'm not straight. I think I'm just paranoid that one day somebody will not be accepting and this could be it. My old captain last year said something that whilst wasn't exactly homophobic, it didn't exactly make me feel like I'd want to tell her anything. That being said, she was a slightly terrifying person and has graduated now anyway I got moved up a team this year but my old captain was telling somebody the other day that they don't discriminate and I believe her.

    I guess this is another reason. I moved to a different team and whilst I've known my new captain since freshers, we aren't that tight and I have literally had to make friends all over again with my new team. I trust them but they haven't been through as much with me as my old teammates.
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    I don’t get the impression that girls are actively homophobic, I don’t see that you would be any more excluded from the sports team than you already are by being unable to join in the gossip.

    Let's face it on a girl's sports team you are also likely to have other lesbians open and secret, so once word gets around you may find yourself a hot commodity with them.

    You say your previous captain said something seemingly homophobic, well you are likely to face banter for this and anything else that makes you different within a sports team. However I wouldn't have thought this would go too far.
 
 
 
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