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I'm afraid of my dad...what's wrong here? watch

    • Thread Starter

    I still don't know my dad really, even after 21 years, and to be honest he kind of scares me. He's always been distant, cold and uncaring. I can't remember his presence growing up and even though we had a lot of problems at home, he never stepped in and I do resent him for that. He just wanted to do exactly what he wanted and if anyone else got upset, that was just annoying to him. He was always at work so we never saw much of him, he was a CEO.

    I know it's a typical guy thing not to show much emotion, but he is extreme. He NEVER shows affection, not even to my mum, and I can't think of a single positive thing he's said to me. He would say pretty weird things to me though like 'maybe you should be a guinea pig for trial drugs' (about my mental health treatment), he once laughed at me when I got a haircut and he said, in all seriousness: 'if you do that one more time, I'll punch you' when I accidentally caught the back of his foot while walking. He does go from calm to extremely angry, however, when he's pushed enough.

    He is very controlling with money and he even asks me a lot where I'm going/ what I'm doing even if I'm just in the house. He also watches me a lot and it unnerves me.

    Now he's retired, he's around the house a bit more but most of the time he's still away somewhere. In fact every single day he plays golf nearly all day it seems and comes back, exercises, has dinner and that's it. I know I shouldn't let my imagination go, but I wonder what he's doing when he's out, it can't be golf every single day.

    Another bizarre thing that happened was when I was just about to leave for college and he invited in a random guy who was 'doing a survey about newspapers'? It was just him in the house and he brought him in to the kitchen and it just seemed off. I left and they both stayed there...

    Also, when we went out to a restaurant and we were sat in the bar area, he put his hand on my leg as a sort of...caress, for lack of a better word. It made me feel uncomfortable but when I asked about it later he said it was a 'fatherly gesture'.

    If I put all this together, it really worries me. What if he's hiding something? Whatever it is, I just feel so uneasy around him, as awful as that is.

    Any advice would be welcome, thanks.

    Well....I'd say it's hard to form an emotional attachment with someone if they never show any emotion to you other than the negative kind, and if they're hardly around. So I can understand why you might not see him as a fatherly figure, but if you're getting warning signals off the things he does I'd be careful about spending too much time around him. Personally I never ignore an instinct when it's telling me something, if you're feeling something's not right it's usually for a reason. I'm not saying he's hiding anything, but listen to what your gut is telling you, even if you don't act on it. It's not unusual to be uneasy around someone who you know has a temper, and there is actually a word for that but I can't for the life of me remember what it is. My advice is try to avoid situations where he might get angry, and don't put yourself in any danger
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