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I don't fit in and feel really uninspired/isolated at my sixth form. watch

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    There are two main sixth forms in my city (Cambridge) that I always struggled to pick between, which are Hills and Long. Hills Road is a very academic sixth form. It’s one of the best in the country and most students get top grades. Because of this, a lot of people who go there are very studious and hardworking. I’ve heard of some people getting chucked out because of ‘bad’grades or becoming lonely and isolated/being put under a LOT of pressure. On the other hand, Long Road is meant to have much more of a relaxed atmosphere and they take on a massive range of different people with all kinds of grades.From what I’ve heard, lots of people enjoy it there. However when I found out that I’d got way better grades than I expected and my best friend said she was going to Hills Road, I kind of got caught along in the buzz of it and ended up enrolling at Hills and declining my offer for Long, partly because I liked the sound of Art History which only Hills offers . However before starting, I got really panicky about going to Hills Road something was telling me that I’d made the wrong decision and that I would have enjoyed it at Long. I didn’t even get in to Art History. I feel SO unmotivated and inspired although I don’t mind the lessons- the teachers are quite enthusiastic and there are some quite nice people who I talk to in some on my lessons but it’s just the overall atmosphere. I find that everyone is very middle class and quite conventional- everyone stays in their old school groups and I’m quite eccentric and dizzy and academic and I’m also dyspraxic so it makes it especially hard for me to fit in and be ‘conventional’. Most people take academic subjects like science, maths etc. I only take 3 subjects (English Lit,Philosophy and Sociology) so I don’t feel that much pressure and the workload isn’t that bad but I feel really unmotivated to do any work and I don’t even know if I’ve taken the right subjects. . I feel kind of sad to be honest, I feel likeeverything is so ‘average’ in my life, I don’t really fit in with the kind o fpeople at Hills, I don’t do any work (which I’m probably going to get into deep**** sooner or later) and I’ve started being late and missing lots of lessons and feel quite anxious a lot of the time. I don’t know any one, I feel so lonely but at the same time I can’t tell whether the problem is the college I’m at, me, or both. I met up with someone from Long and they said they really liked it, that everyone was really lovely, that they were surprised that I wentto Hills from the type of person I am and that they thought Long Road was very me and that I might fit in. It made feel super excited and inspired because thethought’s always been in the back of my mind and I suddenly had a moment whereI thought Long Road was the place for me all along. My dad rang Long Road andasked about switching and they said that the only way I’d be able to move is ifI was to re-take a year and start again with the year below, which I reallyreally don’t want to do. I don’t even know if I’d enjoy it at Long Road butfrom things I’ve heard and gut instinct, there’s a chance I would? It might bereally good to get a fresh start and maybe be independent and spend some timeaway from my best friend and all her friends, who I tend to tag along with. I’malready pretty behind at Hills so I’d defiantly be prepared to put in lots ofeffort into doing work if I knew I’d meet nice people and have a great time. I know I’ve already been told no but I wasthinking of actually going in and talking to the admissions person myself andexplaining everything and seeing if there’s a way around the whole exam boredthing? Some people talked about December transfers from Hills to Long but thatmight be about retaking a year too. Even if I did get a place at Long, would itbe stupid to move from somewhere where the lessons are ok and I don’t absolutelyhate to somewhere where I have to start completely afresh? I know I’m makingsuch a big deal out of nothing but I’m so, so tired of feeling lost and unmotivatedand so ****ing lonely the whole time. I feel like I’m forever waiting forsomething to start, I’ve basically done nothing the last six years or so.
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    Maybe you could do something outside the lessons where you are now? When I was in year 7, I went from a pretty useless primary school with very low ambitions (at the time) to a grammar and felt pretty useless, got behind and didnt really fit in at all (I still don't properly after like 6 years but that's different :-P ). Eventually, I got involved in running a team for sometbing I really like and found it pushed me to try in everything else and ended up finishing GCSE and AS years in the top half of the table so to speak. Just an idea but it might work for you - otherwise just go with your gut! :-)
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    I go to Hills as well and I feel the same. (I'm in lower sixth as well) but trust me, not everyone is as academic as you think they are and I know a lot of people that are struggling. Hang in there buddy
 
 
 
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