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Boyfriend keeps getting tattoo's which turn me off. watch

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    I don't want to sound mean or anything but I'm just being honest. I like my boyfriend loads but a few weeks ago he went to get a load of tattoos. He already had 2 smallish ones and although I wasn't keen on them I kind of turned a blind eye because I like him. The thing is though the 4 he has had done are huge 2 are on his back and there's 2 more he's had done on his arms. Some people will like tattoos but tattoos on the arms of guys just looks unattractive to me, how can I get over my dislike of tattoos?
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    Tattoos are attractive, he's allowed to have any form of body art performed on himself regardless of what anyone else thinks. It's very important for people to be able to express themselves freely, even if they're in relationships. If you lose your right to self-expression, then you've lost a vital part of your humanity.
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    At the end of the day it his body, so he can get the tattoos whether you like it or not. It sounds like they'll be something you have to get used to. Besides, if you feel that tattoos are affecting your relationship badly you should reflect on whether you genuinely like him or not.
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    Say: "Excuse me boyfriend, can you stop getting tattoos for it greatly disgraces your body and I find it unattractive."

    Or.

    You could strap yourself to a chair for days on end staring at tattoos on the internet and only get let up when your mind finds it attractive as a means of survival.
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    (Original post by Cold 187um)
    Tattoos are attractive, he's allowed to have any form of body art performed on himself regardless of what anyone else thinks. It's very important for people to be able to express themselves freely, even if they're in relationships. If you lose your right to self-expression, then you've lost a vital part of your humanity.
    I didn't say he wasn't allowed I said that I lose physical attraction because of them. Skin is a very nice part of a man and he is just covering it up. There was a thread a while ago where lots of people said tattoos were a turn off on the opposite sex so it's not just me.
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    (Original post by Anonymusideas)
    Say: "Excuse me boyfriend, can you stop getting tattoos for it greatly disgraces your body and I find it unattractive."

    Or.

    You could strap yourself to a chair for days on end staring at tattoos on the internet and only get let up when your mind finds it attractive as a means of survival.
    I can't demand that he stops getting tattoos ha but the second option might just work!
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    (Original post by Cold 187um)
    Tattoos are attractive, he's allowed to have any form of body art performed on himself regardless of what anyone else thinks. It's very important for people to be able to express themselves freely, even if they're in relationships. If you lose your right to self-expression, then you've lost a vital part of your humanity.
    Speak for yourself.
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    (Original post by Ndella)
    At the end of the day it his body, so he can get the tattoos whether you like it or not. It sounds like they'll be something you have to get used to. Besides, if you feel that tattoos are affecting your relationship badly you should reflect on whether you genuinely like him or not.
    I can, without consulting my partner, do any number of things that they would no doubt object to vociferously: but that wouldn't make me a very good boyfriend, now, would it?
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    I can, without consulting my partner, do any number of things that they would no doubt object to vociferously: but that wouldn't make me a very good boyfriend, now, would it?
    Don't be pedantic. I'm sure you're intelligent enough to understand what I'm talking about. You make it sound like I'd justify her boyfriend cheating on her since he is his own person. That and getting a tattoo are two totally different situations, one clearly worse than the other.
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    (Original post by Ndella)
    Don't be pedantic. I'm sure you're intelligent enough to understand what I'm talking about. You make it sound like I'd justify her boyfriend cheating on her since he is his own person. That and getting a tattoo are two totally different situations, one clearly worse than the other.
    But he does have a point. She's not attracted to tattoos, so yes, he should have the freedom to get them if he wants but she's not obliged to be attracted to them and likewise she also has the freedom to express her distaste for them.
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    (Original post by Ndella)
    Don't be pedantic. I'm sure you're intelligent enough to understand what I'm talking about. You make it sound like I'd justify her boyfriend cheating on her since he is his own person. That and getting a tattoo are two totally different situations, one clearly worse than the other.
    Yea they are different situations. I can't help but think though that if I had the same tattoos done as him most guys would hate it.
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    (Original post by High Stakes)
    But he does have a point. She's not attracted to tattoos, so yes, he should have the freedom to get them if he wants but she's not obliged to be attracted to them and likewise she also has the freedom to express her distaste for them.
    Yeah I know that. She can break up with him if she wants but it's just a tattoo.
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    I'm very much of the school of thought of your boyfriend. I want to get both my nipples pierced and I can't imagine that it would be my boyfriends kind of thing. However I like it, so if he really objects, there are other women that can be more his type and he can leave me. If he doesn't object. ..I see it as a loving respect for my bodily autonomy.

    You need to just accept it or leave. You can't force someone to do with their body what you want.

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    Haha, it would be akin for someone breaking up over a bad haircut.....

    Thb much worse problems, unless it's a full body cover, I doubt it is in all honestly that bad. If you think it is, I would re-evaluate the basis of the relationship.
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    Did you talk to him OP?
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    (Original post by Ndella)
    Don't be pedantic. I'm sure you're intelligent enough to understand what I'm talking about. You make it sound like I'd justify her boyfriend cheating on her since he is his own person. That and getting a tattoo are two totally different situations, one clearly worse than the other.
    The fact that a large segment of the populace will be morally and constitutionally incapable of reconciling their romantic ideals with that they perceive as at best, an unsightly faux pas and at worst, an irrevocably disfiguring act of radical self-mutilation makes tattooing—and by extension, body-modification in all its forms—a non-trivial concern between serious partners, which any conscientious adult possessing even the most rudimentary grasp of British social and cultural mores would think it entirely necessary to broach with their significant other beforehand.

    Of course, given that the OP's boyfriend was hardly an 'unblemished specimen' prior to their coupling I'd be inclined to chide her naïveté for thinking that his budding penchant for ink would simply stop there. However, the 'it's his/her/your/their body' platitude is simply not a pertinent line of reasoning in this context, and nor does it apply prima facie to any emotionally healthy adult relationship of the sort based upon open dialogue and mutual compromise rather than childish, prima-donna narcissism.
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    The fact that a large segment of the populace will be morally incapable of reconciling their romantic ideals with that they perceive as at best, an unsightly faux pas and at worst, an irrevocably disfiguring act of radical self-mutilation makes tattooing—and by extension, body-modification in all its forms—a non-trivial concern between serious partners, which any conscientious adult possessing even the most rudimentary grasp of British social and cultural mores would think it entirely necessary to broach with their significant other beforehand.

    Of course, given that the OP's boyfriend was hardly an 'unblemished specimen' prior to their coupling I'd be inclined to chide her naïveté for thinking that his budding penchant for ink would simply stop there. However, 'it's his/her/your/their body' is simply not a pertinent line of reasoning in this context, and nor does it apply prima facie to any emotionally healthy adult relationship of the sort based upon mutual compromise rather than childish, prima-donna narcissism.
    Wtf? I think just by reading that I jumped up a class or two!
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    The fact that a large segment of the populace will be morally and constitutionally incapable of reconciling their romantic ideals with that they perceive as at best, an unsightly faux pas and at worst, an irrevocably disfiguring act of radical self-mutilation makes tattooing—and by extension, body-modification in all its forms—a non-trivial concern between serious partners, which any conscientious adult possessing even the most rudimentary grasp of British social and cultural mores would think it entirely necessary to broach with their significant other beforehand.

    Of course, given that the OP's boyfriend was hardly an 'unblemished specimen' prior to their coupling I'd be inclined to chide her naïveté for thinking that his budding penchant for ink would simply stop there. However, the 'it's his/her/your/their body' platitude is simply not a pertinent line of reasoning in this context, and nor does it apply prima facie to any emotionally healthy adult relationship of the sort based upon open dialogue and mutual compromise rather than childish, prima-donna narcissism.
    what he said

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    If a guy said the same about his girlfriend people would be telling him he's a misogynist for expecting them only to behave in a way that's sexually glorifying to them.

    My advice in either case would be to let them do what they want, it's their lifestyle chose, not yours.
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    OP, I don't think you want to stay with that kind of selfish guy. If you continue with him, he may be the kind of guy to make crazy moves, such as buying a new car, or going on a trip, without telling you first.
 
 
 
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