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Should I ask her out? watch

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    Hi All,

    Recently I matched with a girl on Tinder who I really like. We've been speaking for about 4-5 weeks now and we get on really well, she's someone I would see myself in a relationship with

    My only issue is I can't really gauge her interest :/ some days we speak well, like jokes, in depth and fast replies, but other days and she will be short & won't reply until a day or two later, and she always says something like "sorry Im useless at replying" or "I've been busy" but I know she's off work and only goes to the gym & walks her dog
    I understand people being busy but no matter what I'm doing if I'm interested in someone I'll make the effort, and this has happened multiple times to me before so I'm a bit wary

    Thing is I have anxiety so I always worry & overthink, like either she's not really that interested or someone else is talking to her. I dont want the conversation to run dry and we end up not speaking, but I also don't want to ask her if I feel she's going to say no and then we just stop speaking

    I wanted some other opinions, I'm wondering should I ask her out or should I wait until the conversation is a bit more consistent?
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    Yes
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    hmmm maybe she taken long to reply sometimes because shes talking to other guys? or maybe shes seeing someone as well as talking to you, has she said to you that your the only guy she speaks to ????
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    Definitely after 4-5 weeks already speaking? If you are both local enough to each other - which I am assuming you are, using Tinder - get a meet up organised! The last thing you want is to have every topic covered online before even the first date! Ask her out!
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    I think in these type of situations it's better to meet up asap. I couldn't imagine how it would feel spending x amount of time talking to someone, meeting up and being totally disappointed. So to answer your question, yes ask her out sooner rather than later.
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    (Original post by XxHolly96xX)
    hmmm maybe she taken long to reply sometimes because shes talking to other guys? or maybe shes seeing someone as well as talking to you, has she said to you that your the only guy she speaks to ????
    Yeah that's whats in my head, no she hasn't said that and I can't really expect her to this early. But if she is seeing someone else then I don't really want the competition kind of thing, I'm not in the right frame of mind for it
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    Wait, you've been talking to someone for 4-5 weeks and you haven't even met? Is she like a pen-pal or something?
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    (Original post by zorrozoidberg)
    Definitely after 4-5 weeks already speaking? If you are both local enough to each other - which I am assuming you are, using Tinder - get a meet up organised! The last thing you want is to have every topic covered online before even the first date! Ask her out!
    Yes she is about 20 minutes away from me so very local! I am wary of running out of things to talk about as she has slight OCD so her day never really differs :rolleyes: I'm just worried that if I say about meeting up and she says no I'll be back to square one and I'm actually really interested in her
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    I think in these type of situations it's better to meet up asap. I couldn't imagine how it would feel spending x amount of time talking to someone, meeting up and being totally disappointed. So to answer your question, yes ask her out sooner rather than later.
    I suppose you're right.. I don't think I'd be disappointed I think we'd get on great, but she hasn't been single that long either and I don't want her to be in that "I don't know what I want" phase and says it's too soon or something

    it's difficult!
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    (Original post by Darien91)
    Yes she is about 20 minutes away from me so very local! I am wary of running out of things to talk about as she has slight OCD so her day never really differs :rolleyes: I'm just worried that if I say about meeting up and she says no I'll be back to square one and I'm actually really interested in her
    What's wrong with having a day that never differs?

    man got to pay the bills
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    You just need to grab the bull by the horns, it's better to find out now than further down the line if she even wants to meet up. And then after you meet up for the first time - to begin with then you'll know if you're really into her, or just into the version of her potrayed through Tinder. Also, then you can get to the more honest phase of are you only speaking to me/dating other guys too at the moment/etc. Good Luck!
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Wait, you've been talking to someone for 4-5 weeks and you haven't even met? Is she like a pen-pal or something?
    no not a pen pal haha! Like I said normally If i was interested in someone and I could tell that the yfelt the same I would try to meet ASAP, but with her I can't tell. Some days she's really talkative & flirty and I think yeah I'll ask, and then other times she'll tex tlike twice and reply 2 days later with "sorry, I'm just useless". I really don't want to be rejected, because it's taken me a long time to find someone I actually like after my last relationship

    By the way everyone sorry for multiple posts, I don't know how to multi quote yet
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    (Original post by Darien91)
    I suppose you're right.. I don't think I'd be disappointed I think we'd get on great, but she hasn't been single that long either and I don't want her to be in that "I don't know what I want" phase and says it's too soon or something

    it's difficult!
    I hear you, but you won't know until you discuss things with her. Only she knows what sure wants and how she's feeling. Communication is key! Try to arrange something with her and gauge the kind of person she is. It isn't easy to read people over the phone, then when the time is right ask her what she's looking for etc.
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    (Original post by Darien91)
    no not a pen pal haha! Like I said normally If i was interested in someone and I could tell that the yfelt the same I would try to meet ASAP, but with her I can't tell. Some days she's really talkative & flirty and I think yeah I'll ask, and then other times she'll tex tlike twice and reply 2 days later with "sorry, I'm just useless". I really don't want to be rejected, because it's taken me a long time to find someone I actually like after my last relationship

    By the way everyone sorry for multiple posts, I don't know how to multi quote yet
    Well there is no point in continuing to waste your time and effort on someone who may or may not be interested. Suggest meeting up. Either it works out well, or you move on.
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    (Original post by Darien91)
    Yeah that's whats in my head, no she hasn't said that and I can't really expect her to this early. But if she is seeing someone else then I don't really want the competition kind of thing, I'm not in the right frame of mind for it
    yeah exactly, maybe meet up with her and see what shes like , thats the only way your gonna know if shes the right girl for you
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    (Original post by zorrozoidberg)
    You just need to grab the bull by the horns, it's better to find out now than further down the line if she even wants to meet up. And then after you meet up for the first time - to begin with then you'll know if you're really into her, or just into the version of her potrayed through Tinder. Also, then you can get to the more honest phase of are you only speaking to me/dating other guys too at the moment/etc. Good Luck!
    Yeah I suppose I may as well risk it! tbh I'm 60/40 that she'd say yes. In reality I'd kick myself more if I didn't ask her and she said she was going out with someone else, and then even worse if she said it was because I didn't ask . I'd never be into someone just off tinder haha! we've had good in depth chats I do think she'd be exactly who I'd look for as a partner thanks!
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    (Original post by Darien91)
    Hi All,

    Recently I matched with a girl on Tinder who I really like. We've been speaking for about 4-5 weeks now and we get on really well, she's someone I would see myself in a relationship with

    My only issue is I can't really gauge her interest :/ some days we speak well, like jokes, in depth and fast replies, but other days and she will be short & won't reply until a day or two later, and she always says something like "sorry Im useless at replying" or "I've been busy" but I know she's off work and only goes to the gym & walks her dog
    I understand people being busy but no matter what I'm doing if I'm interested in someone I'll make the effort, and this has happened multiple times to me before so I'm a bit wary

    Thing is I have anxiety so I always worry & overthink, like either she's not really that interested or someone else is talking to her. I dont want the conversation to run dry and we end up not speaking, but I also don't want to ask her if I feel she's going to say no and then we just stop speaking

    I wanted some other opinions, I'm wondering should I ask her out or should I wait until the conversation is a bit more consistent?
    Go for it youve got nothing to lose.
    Just saying tho if youre that close and its been over a month and u still havent met she may not feel how you feel and see you as a friend or something.
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    Yes meet up! On tinder of it's going well and you live near each other you should arrange o meet up asap, as in after only a few days tbh


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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    I hear you, but you won't know until you discuss things with her. Only she knows what sure wants and how she's feeling. Communication is key! Try to arrange something with her and gauge the kind of person she is. It isn't easy to read people over the phone, then when the time is right ask her what she's looking for etc.
    Very true.. I did ask as I do with most people "what are you looking for since you're on tinder" but she avoided it. All I've found out is that she was in a relationship for 5 years, single for a few months then with someone for a month and it didn't work out. She doesn't come across as the type of person to sleep around either
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    (Original post by BlueReptiles)
    Go for it youve got nothing to lose.
    Just saying tho if youre that close and its been over a month and u still havent met she may not feel how you feel and see you as a friend or something.

    Possibly, that's the worry haha she knows what I think of her and she's said mostly the same! We're speaking now so I'll ask her later, prepare for the worst
 
 
 
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