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Abusive Dad watch

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    So my dad is really abusive, mostly verbally to me but he doesn't refrain from hitting me at all. Just earlier today, he told me to go an hoover the car while i was revising and about 3 minutes later I was picking up my things in my sisters room and then going to pick up my revision notes when he started shouting at me asking why I hadn't gone to do it yet. I replied with 'I'm going to put my shoes on in a minute' and he just came up to me and slapped me hard on my face.

    My mum never says anything because otherwise she'll get shouted at or even hit.

    What should I do that will make it stop? The police and social services are not even an answer that would make everything worse. I need a sure-fire way of making it stop.
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    They wouldn't make everything worse, their job is to make things better. But if you're dead set against the police or social services, you can call childline. Although if you call the police and you and your mum and even your sister say he's been abusing you and show them any marks, there's no way they'll let him back in the house with you guys
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    Thankfully I haven't been in this situation; however I would definitely consider speaking to the police about this. They won't make things worse, they'll make things better, because with proof that your Dad has been doing this to you, he should have restrictions given to him so that he won't be doing this sort of abuse any time soon.

    As georgia said in the above post, if you're adamant that you don't want to get the police involved, then you should contact Childline and explain the issues to them. However, you should definitely get someone involved otherwise things are not going to get better.

    Hope that your problem gets resolved soon
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    They wouldn't make everything worse, their job is to make things better. But if you're dead set against the police or social services, you can call childline. Although if you call the police and you and your mum and even your sister say he's been abusing you and show them any marks, there's no way they'll let him back in the house with you guys
    Marks on our bodies makes no difference to whether he's been abusing us (we don't have any) and my mum would never say anything since its all about honour and divorce is seen as the worst thing that could possibly happen in our culture.
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    (Original post by spotify95)
    Thankfully I haven't been in this situation; however I would definitely consider speaking to the police about this. They won't make things worse, they'll make things better, because with proof that your Dad has been doing this to you, he should have restrictions given to him so that he won't be doing this sort of abuse any time soon.

    As georgia said in the above post, if you're adamant that you don't want to get the police involved, then you should contact Childline and explain the issues to them. However, you should definitely get someone involved otherwise things are not going to get better.

    Hope that your problem gets resolved soon
    Trust me when I say it will make things worse, my dad has a short temper and basically anything i do dissapoints him so calling the police would be the worst possible thing to do. I don't have any proof too so talking to the police would be a waste of time as they'd let him go and then he'd hurt me again
    • #2
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    Definitely get someone else's help. Family, social support or police. You cant keep this to yourself or you'll end up regretting it.

    You could always just knock him out too as an act of self defence.
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    I'm not condoning murder.....But he can't abuse you from beyond the grave.




    In seriousness though - Childline it
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    Sorry to hear this. If u don't want to take the route of notifying police etc, then as the above people said, u can call childline to get further help on ur situation.

    Can I ask how old u r? Also, do u have another adult fam member that can have a word with ur dad?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Trust me when I say it will make things worse, my dad has a short temper and basically anything i do disappoints him so calling the police would be the worst possible thing to do. I don't have any proof too so talking to the police would be a waste of time as they'd let him go and then he'd hurt me again
    Aah okay, thank you for explaining this. I see why it could make things worse now, because it would make his temper even worse...

    Have you tried phoning Childline, to see what they can do? Other than that, I don't know what to suggest....
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    (Original post by RainbowKiwi)
    Sorry to hear this. If u don't want to take the route of notifying police etc, then as the above people said, u can call childline to get further help on ur situation.

    Can I ask how old u r? Also, do u have another adult fam member that can have a word with ur dad?
    I am 16 and no because they're all so closed-minded and they'd all think i was the route of the problem
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    (Original post by Fiduciam)
    How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm all for respecting elders etc and all that stuff but you need to step up a little. By this I DEFINITELY don't mean hit your dad or anything, no, never. You just need to show him you can handle your own, perhaps just grab a hold of his hand or something. (Especially when it comes to your mum, she's probably defenceless).

    Again this is just my personal opinion, the responses above are also great.
    I am 16 and if I tried that I can't even think what would happen to me

    And my mum isn't defenseless by no means, she hits me to but it doesn't affect me in the way my dad does.
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    You a guy? If so I'd just show them who's boss if it came down to that
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    (Original post by Fiduciam)
    ''My mum isn't defenceless, she hits me too''

    I shouldn't laugh, I'm sorry lol.
    Child line would be your best bet, honestly. How much longer are you gonna put up with it? I mean you move out for uni in 2 years but still.
    Excuse me? Child abuse isn't a joke. In fact no form of abuse is a joke. And I'm not putting up with it, you wouldn't understand unless you had my dad for a father.
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    (Original post by Andy98)
    You a guy? If so I'd just show them who's boss if it came down to that
    Nope, I am a girl.
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    Hey there! *hugs*. This is a really crap situation. As others have said, I would call childline and ask for their advice. You could give the police an anonymous tip off and just blame it on someone else. Is there any family you could stay with for a while then do. Or tell a family member/trusted parent of a friend and see if they can talk any sense in to him?

    People saying 'just call the police/dont put up with'- this is easier said than done when someone is abusing you. There are a multitude of reasons people can't always face doing this.
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    (Original post by Fiduciam)
    1. I didn't know you were a girl. Then I wouldn't have found it slightly amusing.
    2. I apologised for laughing.
    3. I only thought so because here I was thinking your mum wants to intervene but she'd get hit also, I wasn't expecting you to turn around and tell me she hits you also. (Given that I thought you were a boy, and you said it doesn't affect you - I thought it was funny)

    My bad.
    It's not funny if it's a girl or a boy. Child abuse is equally as disguting regardless of gender.
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    (Original post by battycatlady)
    Hey there! *hugs*. This is a really crap situation. As others have said, I would call childline and ask for their advice. You could give the police an anonymous tip off and just blame it on someone else. Is there any family you could stay with for a while then do. Or tell a family member/trusted parent of a friend and see if they can talk any sense in to him?

    People saying 'just call the police/dont put up with'- this is easier said than done when someone is abusing you. There are a multitude of reasons people can't always face doing this.
    We moved 5 years ago and where I live I have no family to stay with and Idk what friends I would stay with because I wouldn't want them to know my situation (not because I don't trust them, i do)
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    (Original post by Fiduciam)
    1. I didn't know you were a girl. Then I wouldn't have found it slightly amusing.
    2. I apologised for laughing.
    3. I only thought so because here I was thinking your mum wants to intervene but she'd get hit also, I wasn't expecting you to turn around and tell me she hits you also. (Given that I thought you were a boy, and you said it doesn't affect you - I thought it was funny)

    My bad.
    It really doesn't make a difference even if i was a boy.
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    Honestly speaking, if you can't get help from the authorities, where else could you turn to? I'm sorry if this seems harsh but...
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    My Mum is very similar to this. She verbally and physically abuses me. I know that they always say you should go straight to child services and report them but I'm in my last year of school so I'll be able to get out of here soon.

    Do you think it's because of anger issues? My Mum has chronic depression and she didn't have a very good childhood so she takes it out on her children. I told her she should go to counselling sessions, and she has agreed to it (she's already on anti-depressants). See if you can catch your Dad in a better mood and do that if you really don't want to report it.

    But if that doesn't work, then I really would recommend reporting them. No one should have to go through abuse from their parents. You may think you're OK, but a lot of people who are abused by their parents have some underlying mental issues as a result. You've probably heard this before, but people who are abused are a child are much more likely to abuse their own children when they're older because of these mental issues. Do some research into what would happen if you did report them. And ask some people who know much more about this than me or anyone else on this forum. Try Ask Sam, it's like an agony-aunt type of website and you can even remain anonymous when you post!

    Best of luck, and please look after yourself. :console:
 
 
 
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