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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I just don't understand how people meet people?
    I'm 19 years old (almost 20) and to be absolutely honest I'm just feeling a little bit lonely.
    I chose not to go to university so I haven't been forced to meet new friends like other people my age have by going to uni.
    I work part time as a teaching assistant and so don't meet any potential friends/boyfriends through work as there's no one else anywhere near my age working there.
    The friends that I do have are all away at uni and with new friends so don't bother with me anymore.
    I'm worried that because, apart from every 10 weeks when my old friends come home, I only talk to my family or work colleges I'm becoming more and more socially anxious around new people and I feel I'll never be able to make any more friends, let alone find a boyfriend.
    I just want some advice or comfort in knowing I'm not the only one who finds it completely puzzling how people meet new friends!
    Thanks!
    • #2
    #2

    Hi, I feel your pain. I'm a 2nd year (repeating) commuting from London to Kent everyday and it is hard to make a few friends here and there because I only go to classes and use my spare time to do assignment and so on. I used to repeat the title of this thread to myself almost everyday (how do people do it) and the answer is "we're different" haha I say this because I know people who are in both of our positions and they still meet new people, still have fun and go places and they're really OUTGOING !, if we really wanted to make friends and find some people and potential partners lol we'd do it ! (hope that helps)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just don't understand how people meet people?
    I'm 19 years old (almost 20) and to be absolutely honest I'm just feeling a little bit lonely.
    I chose not to go to university so I haven't been forced to meet new friends like other people my age have by going to uni.
    I work part time as a teaching assistant and so don't meet any potential friends/boyfriends through work as there's no one else anywhere near my age working there.
    The friends that I do have are all away at uni and with new friends so don't bother with me anymore.
    I'm worried that because, apart from every 10 weeks when my old friends come home, I only talk to my family or work colleges I'm becoming more and more socially anxious around new people and I feel I'll never be able to make any more friends, let alone find a boyfriend.
    I just want some advice or comfort in knowing I'm not the only one who finds it completely puzzling how people meet new friends!
    Thanks!
    Hello

    My name is Ross and im 19 and I can relate to your post to a T. I left university as I felt I wasn't getting the " time of my life" malarkey and so I left. I too find it puzzling on how to make friends as I'm not the sort of person who makes the initial contact and so I tend to be quite and on my own. So it isn't only you who finds it puzzling. As for your job and not going to university I highly respect you for that and decided to do something you enjoy and not many people make that decision.

    As for only speaking to work colleagues I relate to that too but I'm moving jobs so that's in a limbo ATM but I volunteer with older people and I spend as much time as I can down with them because I connect with them easily. It sounds weird but I was close to my grandad before he passed away and become more like him by the day ( whether that is good or not I don't know haha but I wouldn't worry about finding a boyfriend you tend to find someone when you don't expect it to.

    I know I've written a fair chunk but if you want to Pm me that it great as we can both understand why both of us feel this way or just reply to this

    Apologies if the writing above is like an essay.

    Ross
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I feel your pain. I'm a 2nd year (repeating) commuting from London to Kent everyday and it is hard to make a few friends here and there because I only go to classes and use my spare time to do assignment and so on. I used to repeat the title of this thread to myself almost everyday (how do people do it) and the answer is "we're different" haha I say this because I know people who are in both of our positions and they still meet new people, still have fun and go places and they're really OUTGOING !, if we really wanted to make friends and find some people and potential partners lol we'd do it ! (hope that helps)
    As a master of acquiring friends (I have over 3), I believe I am in the prime position to help you with your struggs.

    Listen buddy guy, the way we meet people is to kidnap them. We should not destiny control our future, and take hold of our own lives. Hence, do not wait for people to come to you - go out there and get them yourself!

    Now, I hear you ask, how do I do this? Well it's simply really. First, you distract them by using a pinecone. The pinecone, with its supreme aerodynamic properties, will project itself to your desired new friend (providing the correct forces are applied, and the principal of least action still holds). The intended target will look squirrels, and thats when you sneakily capture them in your Poke-ball (available for purchase at all good Pokestores).

    The world is your oyster, and you are its pearl.

    Goodluck son.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for replying, it really makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one!

    Social media is an absolute killer as well. There's nothing worse than seeing on facebook someone from your old school who you thought was even quieter than yourself having the absolute time of their life at uni with thousands of friends! That's when I really question "how do people do it?"

    The problem is that just over a year ago now I was all set to go to uni to study psychology, but after the first week I decided to defer it for a year. So this past year I've just been thinking "Ok you might not make any new friends yet but after this gap year you're bound to make friends at uni". (p.s. I volunteered with older people during this gap year and found them so much easier to get on with too!) Fast forward to September and I decided uni just wasn't for me and cancelled it all together.
    So now I'm just constantly questioning when will I ever be in a situation (like going to uni) where I'm forced to talk to new people and make friends.
    Plus I don't drink alcohol so it's not like I can meet people on nights out like other people can. And normally when I tell people I don't drink they just look at me as if I've just said I killed my own father!
    I keep thinking back to school and wondering how I did it back then but I guess you're just forced to talk to people and at school I didn't really fit in anyway cos I refused to be a sheep and by doing that kinda alienated myself, so I guess it's my own fault really!
    I'm not the type of person that will go out actively seeking friends by like joining clubs or starting a new hobby etc., (But maybe that's exactly what I need to do!)

    Oh god why is life so bloody difficult sometimes?!

    p.s. pandaputra43 of course pinecones why didn't I think of that! I've been using acorns this whole time, dammit! I'm all out of poke-balls too so I better get shopping! This time next week I'll have captured hundreds of friends! Cheers!
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    TSR Support Team
    I stayed in my uni city after graduating, everyone left last summer and since then it's been awful.

    I'm so lonely and the only thing I do is go to work. Whilst I do have 2 best friends one of them is always busy and I never get to see or speak to her, the other I talk to every day but she's 300 miles away with her own life and her own friends. I just get so jealous and upset seeing them going out and having fun, meeting new people etc because i'm so paranoid they're going to replace me and move on.

    I literally have no idea where i'd start meeting people or making new friends. At uni I always met new people but they were always dating my friends or were friends of friends, now I have to do the effort myself I haven't got a ****ing clue where to start. I don't feel good enough for anyone and as it's so rare I have any social interaction these days i'm getting more shy and withdrawn by the day.

    Seeing everyone else my age getting engaged, moving in together, going travelling etc just makes me feel 10 times worse. I just look at myself next to other people and feel so weak and inferior, even next to the 2 friends I do have.

    I'm never going to get a girlfriend or even make any friends, i just can't live in isolation like this any longer.
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    TBH, I have always believed that persistence pays off in the long run. You just have to keep trying.
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    You have to work hard a friendships and love unless you are a natural (and many people aren't) Dress attractively, be fun, friendly and where appropriate flirty. It is possible to meet friends and partners at work and beyound that it is probably pushing out of your comfort zone with hobbies or voluntary organisations - there are some super ones. I found uni a superb experience socially and intellectually despite lots of angst. Would it be worth reconsidering this? Don't worry about f/b everyone is just showing off there. As others have said its about patience and tenacity and with these comes eventual successes. Good luck
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks again for replying everyone

    The thing is it's all well and good saying "be patient", "persistence is key", "keep trying" etc., but be patient with what? have persistence at what? cos the problem is, just like sr90 said, "I literally have no idea where i'd start meeting people or making new friends" If I knew where or how to make friends I would keep trying but I have literally nothing to keep trying at!

    I always used to think of myself as quite a positive person, and deep down I do still believe that everything will be alright in the end and in 20 years time I'll look back and think how silly I was for worrying so much about this, but right now I just feel so negative about everything.

    I feel like I must be missing something like there's some secret underground society where everyone goes to make new friends! So if someone could just tell me exactly where to go to meet friends, or what to say to them, or how to find a boyfriend by next week, that'd be greatly appreciated! haha
 
 
 
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