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    Basically as it says in the title, I frequently do not feel anything during sex. I do not mean that I am numb and have no sense of touch but I very rarely, and if I do, only fleetingly feel any sensation and it has literally never built up to anything that I would label pleasurable. I am in my twenties, have been sexually active for two years, and am engaged. I am not into touching myself and just can't get myself to do that. The one time I did try nothing really happened either. I have not had experience with any men other than my fiancé and would say that I am sexually immature and find talking about sex not very easy. I like the close aspect of sex but that is about as far as it goes. I hear girls going on about how they could not live without sex and how wonderful it is and I just feel like I am missing out. I would like to have a pleasurable experience like everyone else. I am not asking for sex tips or anything, I just want to know if anyone has had this well and whether anything made things change for them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am not into touching myself and just can't get myself to do that. The one time I did try nothing really happened either.
    This is probably the basic issue - exploring what touches you like once is rarely enough to discover what they are.

    Have you talked to him about all this?
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    You need to start playing with yourself pronto. If you don't know what you like, it's tough for anyone else to know either.
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    I think I tried twice though and nothing happened either time. Do all women really have to do that in order to get pleasure out of sex? I didn't think that all women touched themselves?
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    (Original post by unprinted)
    This is probably the basic issue - exploring what touches you like once is rarely enough to discover what they are.

    Have you talked to him about all this?
    I have talked to him about it but the conversations don't really go very far. We just sort of recognise the issue and that is it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically as it says in the title, I frequently do not feel anything during sex. I do not mean that I am numb and have no sense of touch but I very rarely, and if I do, only fleetingly feel any sensation and it has literally never built up to anything that I would label pleasurable. I am in my twenties, have been sexually active for two years, and am engaged. I am not into touching myself and just can't get myself to do that. The one time I did try nothing really happened either. I have not had experience with any men other than my fiancé and would say that I am sexually immature and find talking about sex not very easy. I like the close aspect of sex but that is about as far as it goes. I hear girls going on about how they could not live without sex and how wonderful it is and I just feel like I am missing out. I would like to have a pleasurable experience like everyone else. I am not asking for sex tips or anything, I just want to know if anyone has had this well and whether anything made things change for them.
    Some people don't feel anything during sex. Do you have an innate desire for sexual activity? If not, you may have a low libido or it may be something deeper than that. Do you feel sexual attraction to your partner?

    There is nothing wrong with you, you just experience the world differently.

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    (Original post by Katty3)
    Some people don't feel anything during sex. Do you have an innate desire for sexual activity? If not, you may have a low libido or it may be something deeper than that. Do you feel sexual attraction to your partner?

    There is nothing wrong with you, you just experience the world differently.

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    To be honest I don't have much of an innate desire for sexual activity. I have some desire and do want sex sometimes but I am not sure why I want it because I do not get pleasure from it. I certainly don't have the burning desire other people seem to have. As to whether I am sexually attracted to my partner, it is difficult to tell because I am don't have a strong innate desire. I would like to have a stronger desire and feel something but it is kind of chicken and egg as because I don't feel much I don't have anything to desire. I had been hoping that something would just change in me but it doesn't seem to be which is why I finally came on here and wanted to know what things had been what changed things for other people who have the same issue.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have talked to him about it but the conversations don't really go very far. We just sort of recognise the issue and that is it.
    Well, it'd be good if you could talk a bit better about this with him.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think I tried twice though and nothing happened either time. Do all women really have to do that in order to get pleasure out of sex? I didn't think that all women touched themselves?
    They don't. But the ones that don't are either very lucky in terms of having a partner who manages to give them pleasure as often as they want or aren't getting all they could out of their sexuality.

    Have a read of 'Becoming Orgasmic: A sexual and personal growth programme for women' by Julia R. Heiman and Joseph LoPiccolo and/or 'For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality' by Lonnie Barbach. I'm going to tell you that both of them - and any other worthwhile book on this - is going to say that touching yourself is a basic step in discovering what works for you.
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    (Original post by unprinted)
    Well, it'd be good if you could talk a bit better about this with him.



    They don't. But the ones that don't are either very lucky in terms of having a partner who manages to give them pleasure as often as they want or aren't getting all they could out of their sexuality.

    Have a read of 'Becoming Orgasmic: A sexual and personal growth programme for women' by Julia R. Heiman and Joseph LoPiccolo and/or 'For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality' by Lonnie Barbach. I'm going to tell you that both of them - and any other worthwhile book on this - is going to say that touching yourself is a basic step in discovering what works for you.
    Okay. Well, thanks for the titles. I just had kind of thought that when you started having sex, after a few goes, these things would just happen naturally but it doesn't seem to be like that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To be honest I don't have much of an innate desire for sexual activity. I have some desire and do want sex sometimes but I am not sure why I want it because I do not get pleasure from it. I certainly don't have the burning desire other people seem to have. As to whether I am sexually attracted to my partner, it is difficult to tell because I am don't have a strong innate desire. I would like to have a stronger desire and feel something but it is kind of chicken and egg as because I don't feel much I don't have anything to desire. I had been hoping that something would just change in me but it doesn't seem to be which is why I finally came on here and wanted to know what things had been what changed things for other people who have the same issue.
    Asexuality? Lack of sexual attraction usually coupled with low desire to have sex. It is a spectrum with some people feeling some sexual attraction but at a lower level than most people. Usually very weak and infrequent. Grey asexuals (nicknamed graces) also exist and are commoner than you would imagine.

    Most aces experience romantic love.


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    (Original post by Katty3)
    Asexuality? Lack of sexual attraction usually coupled with low desire to have sex. It is a spectrum with some people feeling some sexual attraction but at a lower level than most people. Usually very weak and infrequent. Grey asexuals (nicknamed graces) also exist and are commoner than you would imagine.

    Most aces experience romantic love.


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    Certainly possible. I wish it wasn't. As I do want to experience things the way others do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically as it says in the title, I frequently do not feel anything during sex. I do not mean that I am numb and have no sense of touch but I very rarely, and if I do, only fleetingly feel any sensation and it has literally never built up to anything that I would label pleasurable. I am in my twenties, have been sexually active for two years, and am engaged. I am not into touching myself and just can't get myself to do that. The one time I did try nothing really happened either. I have not had experience with any men other than my fiancé and would say that I am sexually immature and find talking about sex not very easy. I like the close aspect of sex but that is about as far as it goes. I hear girls going on about how they could not live without sex and how wonderful it is and I just feel like I am missing out. I would like to have a pleasurable experience like everyone else. I am not asking for sex tips or anything, I just want to know if anyone has had this well and whether anything made things change for them.
    you're doing it wrong silly child
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Certainly possible. I wish it wasn't. As I do want to experience things the way others do.
    It's not bad being ace. You experience things differently, but if you never feel attraction, or only rarely feel attraction, it is quite likely.

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    (Original post by catholic69)
    you're doing it wrong silly child
    There is no right way to have sex. Some people just don't enjoy it. That doesn't mean that they are doing anything wrong. It just breaks cultural norms.

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    (Original post by Katty3)
    There is no right way to have sex. Some people just don't enjoy it. That doesn't mean that they are doing anything wrong. It just breaks cultural norms.

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    There is, you have to insert it... etc...
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    You need to talk to him, or talk to a doctor about your issue
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically as it says in the title, I frequently do not feel anything during sex. I do not mean that I am numb and have no sense of touch but I very rarely, and if I do, only fleetingly feel any sensation and it has literally never built up to anything that I would label pleasurable. I am in my twenties, have been sexually active for two years, and am engaged. I am not into touching myself and just can't get myself to do that. The one time I did try nothing really happened either. I have not had experience with any men other than my fiancé and would say that I am sexually immature and find talking about sex not very easy. I like the close aspect of sex but that is about as far as it goes. I hear girls going on about how they could not live without sex and how wonderful it is and I just feel like I am missing out. I would like to have a pleasurable experience like everyone else. I am not asking for sex tips or anything, I just want to know if anyone has had this well and whether anything made things change for them.
    You shouldn't feel uncomfortable for touching your own body. Use toys or buy a vibrator, your sex sounds very vanilla.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay. Well, thanks for the titles. I just had kind of thought that when you started having sex, after a few goes, these things would just happen naturally but it doesn't seem to be like that.
    It doesn't and I slept with a lot of blokes before I ever had my first orgasm through sex, but with myself I knew what I liked and could make myself orgasm very easily.As said before, you have to be open about sex and explore things. Some girls can only climax when they're on top or through anal. It's also about experimenting, but if you're not that bothered, it's pretty normal.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically as it says in the title, I frequently do not feel anything during sex. I do not mean that I am numb and have no sense of touch but I very rarely, and if I do, only fleetingly feel any sensation and it has literally never built up to anything that I would label pleasurable. I am in my twenties, have been sexually active for two years, and am engaged. I am not into touching myself and just can't get myself to do that. The one time I did try nothing really happened either. I have not had experience with any men other than my fiancé and would say that I am sexually immature and find talking about sex not very easy. I like the close aspect of sex but that is about as far as it goes. I hear girls going on about how they could not live without sex and how wonderful it is and I just feel like I am missing out. I would like to have a pleasurable experience like everyone else. I am not asking for sex tips or anything, I just want to know if anyone has had this well and whether anything made things change for them.
    Trust me, plenty of women cannot orgasm via penetrative sex alone - I am definitely one of them. I don't get off on it, I just get turned on knowing that he is being pleasured. The only way I can orgasm is touching myself, but as you've said you're not really into it, I'm wondering if it's because you haven't done it often or you really don't have any interest in masturbating at all? I remember it took me a while to find out exactly what I like and that's the fun of it, exploring your own body and getting to know what you enjoy. After all, if you don't know what makes you feel good, your partner cannot know either. Just give it some time, be experimental with your body because eventually you'll discover something that works for you.
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    Maybe you are A sexual (not sexually interested) :3 x
 
 
 
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