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Oxbridge Rejection

Just wondered if there was anyone else out there still facing the anti-climax of Oxbridge rejection? Having been pooled by Cambridge, I'm still finding the whole thing quite hard to come to terms with

It's not that I'm angry with Cambridge. Completely accept the decision. What's difficult is knowing what to do now. Some people are telling me to reapply, others are saying move on. And certain "friends" who did get there places are now being wholly inconsiderate about the whole process - don't mean to be pedantic, but making a photographic display about those who did get places does seem slightly unconsiderate of the school.

And the whole "you never deserved to get into Oxbridge" comments that seem to be surfacing make it harder. Because it's luck. The people at school who got in are no better or no worse than I. We deserved it equally. And having had the process dragged out for nearly a month longer by being in the pool, it was never a simple yes or no.

I'll stop rambling now.
Just wondered if I was alone in this awful confusion of emotions, or if anyone else is fed up with being an Oxbridge "reject"?

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Reply 1

generalebriety

theduffy

And certain "friends" who did get there places are now being wholly inconsiderate about the whole process - don't mean to be pedantic, but making a photographic display about those who did get places does seem slightly unconsiderate of the school.

Is this your friends or your school being inconsiderate, sorry? Your school doesn't care whether it upsets you, because your school is not a conscious being - it's an establishment acting, under the power of a collection of individuals, in its own best interests - and if that means showing off all the people who got into Oxford/Cambridge, then that's what it's going to do. It has nothing to lose by upsetting you - doesn't make it a nice thing to do, but that doesn't make it anyone's fault. Especially not your friends' fault.

theduffy

It's not that I'm angry with Cambridge. Completely accept the decision.
[...]
And the whole "you never deserved to get into Oxbridge" comments that seem to be surfacing make it harder. Because it's luck. The people at school who got in are no better or no worse than I. We deserved it equally. And having had the process dragged out for nearly a month longer by being in the pool, it was never a simple yes or no.

Which of these is true, sorry?

I don't mean to be rude here, or to turn this thread into an Oxbridge / non-Oxbridge argument, but you sound awfully bitter about the whole thing. There are plenty of amazing universities out there - Cambridge isn't the only one. Surely, if you'd got an offer from Cambridge, you would've put an insurance uni down anyway, just in case you didn't get the grades? If so, what's wrong with that uni? Is Cambridge really the only place you can see yourself going to?

I know someone who applied to Oxford and didn't get in. She's reapplying - but to Cambridge, this time. :biggrin:

That might be the way forward. If you really can't imagine yourself going to any of your other universities, then don't go - reapply to somewhere you do want to go.

Reply 2

Turdburger

making a photographic display about those who did get places does seem slightly unconsiderate of the school.

No, its isnt inconsiderate, its just congratulating those people. Its not their to hurt you, and it shouldnt.

I don't want to be nasty, and I can see why it hurts but you just have to. put it behind you, infact I would go out and actively congratulate those people yourself.

People will respect you if you but on a brave face. I wouldnt reapply, as long as you can find somewhere that you will be happy.

Dust

theduffy

The people at school who got in are no better or no worse than I.

well that's just wrong, isn't it?

Reply 5

thegrassisgreenerontheotherside

don't worry about it
sooner or later you'll find that you might be actually accepted into cambridge,
you were pooled, and not completely rejected :smile:

so have a little bit of hope ~~
and don't worry, its just like when i give up chocolate for lent, chocolate just appears everywhere..! you are just more aware of the whole oxbridge thing and what happens because you applied there ~

Reply 6

Taiping

Crazy_Dee

its just like when i give up chocolate for lent, chocolate just appears everywhere..!

Dude, that's not chocolate.

Sorry! It had to be said.

Reply 7

theduffy

Just to clear things up - my orignal post was perhaps a little emotionally charged and thus not the most articulate.

I DO accept that I didn't get the place and I am more than happy to go to Warwick or UCL (my firm and insurance) but at the same time, it still feels a bit of a let down. What is interesting about your responses it that I get the impression that none of you have been pooled. Because being pooled is a whole different experience. You are told by your original college that you are "Cambridge material" and then face a whole lot of confusion when (or rather if) you get interviews at another college. My observations at least.

And the friends/school thing got confused. My headmaster is ex-Oxford, and to him, Oxbridge are the only universities worth applying to. The friend I was referring to is actually my ex-boyfriend, who has not associated with me at all since I recived my eventual rejection.

And in regards to the person who said that obviously those who got in were deserving, rather than lucky, I only partly agree. I am extremely proud of three of my best friends who have all gained the places they deserve. However, looking at the whole process mathematically, probability is more important imo. If you apply to an unpopular college for a lesser subscribed subject, it's clearly easier. But whatever.

And I am bitter, I know that. But I'm not that bad! I haven't even mentioned the whole "I originally went to a comp and that's why they rejected me" excuse. Because I think that's crap

Reply 8

Chewwy

theduffy

If you apply to an unpopular college for a lesser subscribed subject, it's clearly easier.

that's irrelevant though. you're still not as good as the people who applied to your college (AND the one you were pooled to), for your subject and got in. that is a fact.

Reply 9

Neapolitan

chewwy

that's irrelevant though. you're still not as good as the people who applied to your college (AND the one you were pooled to), for your subject and got in. that is a fact.

Because the system is clearly infallible? :rolleyes:

Reply 10

DFranklin

chewwy

that's irrelevant though. you're still not as good as the people who applied to your college (AND the one you were pooled to), for your subject and got in. that is a fact.

Well no. It is a fact that that was what the college decided, but that doesn't mean they were right.

Obviously, there are some people that the college can spend 5 minutes with and think "we really want this person", and there are some people where not even 5 seconds is required to decide the opposite. But in the middle there are many shades of gray, and some luck is obviously going to be involved. I don't doubt the interviewers do their best, but they are academics whose main interest is their subject, not professional interviewers, and they get less than an hour to assess you. So nerves, or a clash of personalities, or getting asked a question about your weakest area rather than your strongest, can make quite a difference.

Reply 11

Jonesy_LJ

theduffy

Because being pooled is a whole different experience. You are told by your original college that you are "Cambridge material" and then face a whole lot of confusion when (or rather if) you get interviews at another college.

To be fair being pooled doesn't necessarily mean they think you're 'Cambridge Material'. As I recall isn't there some rule about pooling all unsuccessful applicants with 7A*s or more?

Reply 12

Dionysus

None of the applicants to Oxford or Cambridge are stupid, none are less than academically excellent, but some have a 'cutting edge' that others don't. I didn't, but I accepted that and I'll have another go at postgrad. There are other very good universities, you know.

Reply 13

Taiping

Jonesy_LJ

To be fair being pooled doesn't necessarily mean they think you're 'Cambridge Material'. As I recall isn't there some rule about pooling all unsuccessful applicants with 7A*s or more?

I'm not too knowledgeable about this, but I seem to remember that there are different categories in the pool, with some having more chance of being fished than others.

Reply 14

DumberChild

OP - were you, at any point, "fished" out of the pool? If so, did you have an interview at your second college?

Reply 15

Subbacultcha

i was pooled, reinterviewed, then rejected after that... people were urging me to reapply next year, but to be honest, being "rejected" by two colleges almost totally put me off! i take the stance that if its not meant to be, its not meant to be - maybe another year i would have got in, or i would have got into another college had i applied to a different one - who knows, i could speculate for hours, but its really not worth it.

I'm going to Bristol, where i know i'll be happy, and i'm ecstatic to have a place there. I've almost forgotten about the whole long drawn-out process already to be honest - i've moved on. Of course sometimes i think about it, or things remind me of it, but thats all.

To be honest, maybe it was easier for me, cos no-one in my school got in, and i was the only one pooled, so in effect i "got the furthest".

Also, for the course i want to do, medicine, the university you choose is not as big a factor as the course itself, as the course is very different at different medical schools, and you have to choose the one that suits you, rather than going "which unis do my course", and picking some, which could be the case with other subjects. In hindsight, i applied rather blindly to cambridge because i was being pushed and pressured by the school and so on. The actual course itself at cambridge, i dont even like - thats not the way i want to approach medicine - it was all so "oooh, cambridge" when i applied that i didnt even consider that! :rolleyes:

so, at the end of the day, for me, it almost feels like a relief i was rejected - i know if i had got in i would have accepted the place, due to pressure from people, school etc etc, but, i know, for me, it maybe wasnt the best option. Its almost nice that the decision has been taken "out of my hands" so to speak.

Of course, however, rejection is rejection, deep down, and yeah, that hurts, but you've got to look at it rationally and from all angles. My main point would be, Cambridge is not the be all and end all....

sorry, that was a bit of an essay!!! :p:

Reply 16

Taiping

Subbacultcha

so, at the end of the day, for me, it almost feels like a relief i was rejected - i know if i had got in i would have accepted the place, due to pressure from people, school etc etc...

I'm sure it was. :rolleyes:

If you don't have the confidence/strength to make such a decision for yourself, I certainly don't want you as my doctor.

Reply 17

Eau

Taiping

I'm sure it was. :rolleyes:

If you don't have the confidence/strength to make such a decision for yourself, I certainly don't want you as my doctor.

Harsh.

Reply 18

Taiping

But also true. :smile:

Reply 19

Subbacultcha

Taiping

I'm sure it was. :rolleyes:

If you don't have the confidence/strength to make such a decision for yourself, I certainly don't want you as my doctor.

aw, leave off! who are you to judge me when you dont know my situation!? was just sharing my experience with the op who sounds pretty down... dont be mean! :p:

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