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Fallen into a grey zone watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm currently a second year medic, with home being a good 6 hours away, so I don't visit very often.

    I've fallen in love with a boy in my year.I never really noticed him during the whole of first year- we occasionally spoke briefly but only about work and exam prep. But in september- we were both at a mutal friends dinner party in september and he was sat next to me and I honestly just felt a real connection with him. We sat for two hours and laughed about pokemon and video games. He actually also lived in the same student halls building as me, so we got the train and walked home together.

    Then we started sitting together in lectures- he would save me a spot next to him and I would do the same and at the same time we also started taking alot on facebook sometimes for two hours straight and till 2am.

    It was his birthday in october and he invited me to his birthday party on the 25th and I bought him a gift which was a notebook and pen- sounds dorky but he had mentioned wanting to start a journal.

    So we had obviously grown closer, we were talking on facebook and he mentioned that I was confusing him because I do flirt with him and that he wanted me to be honest with him and that anything I did say would not push him away- so I told him that I liked him, that I thought about him too much and that I found his presence comforting, because he makes me feel safe and reminds me of home.

    He replied saying that it was admirable, that I was so open but he hoped I would be okay with the position of a friend. I asked if I could talk to him in person a day later just to make sure things were't awkward between us and he waited for me and said he had just broken up with his ex recently and that he wasn't ready and wanted to focus on studying but he did say "maybe later". and how my heart sang when he said that.

    We continued to still speak on facebook. He talked to me about his ex and how he was tired of things being complicated since he started school (his ex was also in our year) - if he was in a relationship he would want to give it 100% and right now he couldn't and he just wanted to try to explain why he wanted to stay away from these kind of emotions. I told him I wouldn't push him and
    I honestly tried to ignore him in lectures- and just cut contact with him but I realized that I was only thinking about me and not him. I wanted to be a good friend. He needed support and I told him that I would put my feelings for him on a shelf and be the best friend that I could be. He said the worst thing he would want to do would be to hurt me.

    Since then we've been hanging out together alot more. He invited me over to his flat, he has given me lifts home.

    I know we're supposed to be friends- but I feel we're in a grey zone of more than friends but less than a real relationship.

    I still flirt with him on facebook but he doesn't flirt back. We've started hugging more, with his hand just rested in the curve of my back and i like the way he holds me- and In lectures if we're sitting together i will deliberately let my legs touch his, but he doesn't move his legs away and he didn't push me off yesterday when I laid my head on his shoulder, but as he was leaving he said the word friend.

    I know I love him even though it's been less than 2 solid months- I can't stop thinking about him. I like what we have- it doesn't have the complication of a full relationship but I don't know why I want to capture him in a sense and I crave more. I've found living away from home hard- the more i miss home the more I want him. I messaged him asking what he wanted from this relationship but he hasn't replied yet.

    He clearly thinks of me just as a friend. I'm okay with that but sometimes like today I'm really not. I don't want to lose him but I don't know what to do right now.
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    Ask him what he wants - if you're clearly in love with him don't throw it away
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    This isn't love, it's infatuation. If you don't want to lose him as a friend then stop the flirting and the touching etc - the fact that he doesn't reciprocate should be enough to tell you to stop.
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    I'm confused. How often do you guys ****?
    • #1
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    k
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    I'm confused. How often do you guys ****?

    We haven't actually slept together.

    I will just tone everything down- the worst thing I would want to do would be to hurt him .

    It hurts knowing we can't be more but I will get over him.
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    Hmm from what I gather I'd suggest you stop flirting with him if you want to be friends.You never know ,he might end up liking you more than a friend in the future.He said "maybe later" so you're not completely out of the equation yet ;D.You're still an option.As for now try and control yourself gurl lol, focus on your studies and being a good friend.You will have to take control of your emotions!

    I think you'll push him away if you continue flirting with him,touching him etc because it seems he doesn't want a relationship right now.
    Hope it all works out for you


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    One, medicine guys have scores of girls, two the 'I recently broke up' is the old excuse to **** around
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    k


    We haven't actually slept together.

    I will just tone everything down- the worst thing I would want to do would be to hurt him .

    It hurts knowing we can't be more but I will get over him.
    So you're just friends then.
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    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm currently a second year medic, with home being a good 6 hours away, so I don't visit very often.

    I've fallen in love with a boy in my year.I never really noticed him during the whole of first year- we occasionally spoke briefly but only about work and exam prep. But in september- we were both at a mutal friends dinner party in september and he was sat next to me and I honestly just felt a real connection with him. We sat for two hours and laughed about pokemon and video games. He actually also lived in the same student halls building as me, so we got the train and walked home together.

    Then we started sitting together in lectures- he would save me a spot next to him and I would do the same and at the same time we also started taking alot on facebook sometimes for two hours straight and till 2am.

    It was his birthday in october and he invited me to his birthday party on the 25th and I bought him a gift which was a notebook and pen- sounds dorky but he had mentioned wanting to start a journal.

    So we had obviously grown closer, we were talking on facebook and he mentioned that I was confusing him because I do flirt with him and that he wanted me to be honest with him and that anything I did say would not push him away- so I told him that I liked him, that I thought about him too much and that I found his presence comforting, because he makes me feel safe and reminds me of home.

    He replied saying that it was admirable, that I was so open but he hoped I would be okay with the position of a friend. I asked if I could talk to him in person a day later just to make sure things were't awkward between us and he waited for me and said he had just broken up with his ex recently and that he wasn't ready and wanted to focus on studying but he did say "maybe later". and how my heart sang when he said that.

    We continued to still speak on facebook. He talked to me about his ex and how he was tired of things being complicated since he started school (his ex was also in our year) - if he was in a relationship he would want to give it 100% and right now he couldn't and he just wanted to try to explain why he wanted to stay away from these kind of emotions. I told him I wouldn't push him and
    I honestly tried to ignore him in lectures- and just cut contact with him but I realized that I was only thinking about me and not him. I wanted to be a good friend. He needed support and I told him that I would put my feelings for him on a shelf and be the best friend that I could be. He said the worst thing he would want to do would be to hurt me.

    Since then we've been hanging out together alot more. He invited me over to his flat, he has given me lifts home.

    I know we're supposed to be friends- but I feel we're in a grey zone of more than friends but less than a real relationship.

    I still flirt with him on facebook but he doesn't flirt back. We've started hugging more, with his hand just rested in the curve of my back and i like the way he holds me- and In lectures if we're sitting together i will deliberately let my legs touch his, but he doesn't move his legs away and he didn't push me off yesterday when I laid my head on his shoulder, but as he was leaving he said the word friend.

    I know I love him even though it's been less than 2 solid months- I can't stop thinking about him. I like what we have- it doesn't have the complication of a full relationship but I don't know why I want to capture him in a sense and I crave more. I've found living away from home hard- the more i miss home the more I want him. I messaged him asking what he wanted from this relationship but he hasn't replied yet.

    He clearly thinks of me just as a friend. I'm okay with that but sometimes like today I'm really not. I don't want to lose him but I don't know what to do right now.
    You need to stop flirting with him if he only see's you as a friend.
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    (Original post by RoyalMarine)
    One, medicine guys have scores of girls, two the 'I recently broke up' is the old excuse to **** around
    Is the bold bit actually true? What does it mean for the OP?

    Also are they more likely to want to play the field as a result?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've stopped with the flirting all together. The odd naughty joke but that's about it. I've stopped all the touching- today was a tough day and I really wanted a hug, but I didn't ask for one. We're still close I guess- we've but both just slightly more busier now, so just erractic facebook messaging at 2am because of the pilling workload. My heart still jumps whenever I see him & i I still just want to be around him. I haven't asked if we could meet up outside of classes- just to study together or whatever but I've just accepted the fact that I will love him and caring about him isn't a defect.

    I've tried to expand my circle of friends who are boys- went out to lunch with a fourth year on friday and today sat down with another group of friends I don't normally sit with.
 
 
 
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