Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

What is it like having friends? watch

Announcements
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Hello

    I will try and keep this short

    It's complicated and probably for a few different reasons but basically I've never had a friend, ever. And I'm just curious.

    There is SO much talk about friends being important, always being there for you, someone to spend time with... etc.. etc..

    I don't think there is any point in me trying to get friends now, there is too many reasons stopping me, and I want to save my determination for other things.

    But, what is it like to have friends?, what do you do with your friends?, is there anything I'm missing out on?

    Thanks for your help
    Online

    21
    ReputationRep:
    I was like that until just after uni. Thinking "what's the point? " then someone on tsr offered to give out her Skype to me privately, we got chatting for a while then eventually met in real life and became friends. Then I got the confidence to join a cycling club (full of older easygoing cyclists btw). The confidence to approach an interview is going to take a while though, and I feel that's the case with you too since it doesn't come naturally without a good level of social interaction.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    I was like that until just after uni. Thinking "what's the point? " then someone on tsr offered to give out her Skype to me privately, we got chatting for a while then eventually met in real life and became friends. Then I got the confidence to join a cycling club (full of older easygoing cyclists btw). The confidence to approach an interview is going to take a while though, and I feel that's the case with you too since it doesn't come naturally without a good level of social interaction.
    So, you was like me with no friends? then you got one and liked it? is that right?
    Not sure what interview you are talking about either?
    Online

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dipka)
    So, you was like me with no friends? then you got one and liked it? is that right?
    Not sure what interview you are talking about either?
    Yep And I was talking about job interviews in general. My CV shines well enough to get job interviews, but I screw them up time and time again. Because I give the impression that I'm too risky. Since a lot of the jobs I'm applying for do need me to have a decent level of interaction with customers.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    Yep And I was talking about job interviews in general. My CV shines well enough to get job interviews, but I screw them up time and time again. Because I give the impression that I'm too risky. Since a lot of the jobs I'm applying for do need me to have a decent level of interaction with customers.
    Oh, okay. Well, well done to you but no idea how you thought to reply with job interviews when I was asking about friends? I'm not near enough to being employed to have a interview, but that's something else completely.
    Online

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dipka)
    Oh, okay. Well, well done to you but no idea how you thought to reply with job interviews when I was asking about friends? I'm not near enough to being employed to have a interview, but that's something else completely.
    It was just a "useful link" that I learned the hard way. Without social interaction through having friends (even just one), how can you show others that you are capable of doing a job for them?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Don't see that much of a difference from them and the voices in my head, to be fair.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    It was just a "useful link" that I learned the hard way. Without social interaction through having friends (even just one), how can you show others that you are capable of doing a job for them?
    Now that's making me think. So you say there is a need to have friends?
    oh
    • #1
    #1

    I only have one actual friend xD but I only became friends with her because I was the only person immature enough to go and pull her hair back when she pulled mine in year 7 -_-

    I mean, I've always been shy and socially awkward and I tend to keep things to myself, so when I talk to her I have an opportunity swap rants about my our life problems to someone xD It's nice to have someone to "unload" on sometimes, and discuss things with that you wouldn't necessarily discuss with others
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Having friends is overrated. I was a sociable person and considered popular by lots of people, but if you don't drink alcohol then nobody gives a **** about you. I learned the hard way that my so-called "friends" are just two-faced liars when they all turned their backs on me after I was kicked out of uni and needed some support. That's 5 years worth of people I have to cut out of my life, only because I don't drink alcohol, I don't enjoy the same things they do and I don't fit with their idea of "normal". People don't care about you unless you shock them, guilt trip them into remembering the harm they have done to you and remind them that you are better off without them. At the end of the day, you don't need friends - you only need to look after number one. Genuine friends are hard to come by, and with people moving away from home to go to uni, the best friends you ever have are often the ones you leave in your home city.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I only have one actual friend xD but I only became friends with her because I was the only person immature enough to go and pull her hair back when she pulled mine in year 7 -_-

    I mean, I've always been shy and socially awkward and I tend to keep things to myself, so when I talk to her I have an opportunity swap rants about my our life problems to someone xD It's nice to have someone to "unload" on sometimes, and discuss things with that you wouldn't necessarily discuss with others
    That's 1 more than I have.
    That sounds like quite useful-I always end up using my support workers for that kind of thing though.
    I can't really help it, but then I regret telling them something when it's the wrong person, so I am trying to say less and just not talk so much. But, it's hard because I am enjoying my new ability to talk too much.

    (Original post by asif007)
    Having friends is overrated. I was a sociable person and considered popular by lots of people, but if you don't drink alcohol then nobody gives a **** about you. I learned the hard way that my so-called "friends" are just two-faced liars when they all turned their backs on me after I was kicked out of uni and needed some support. That's 5 years worth of people I have to cut out of my life, only because I don't drink alcohol, I don't enjoy the same things they do and I don't fit with their idea of "normal". People don't care about you unless you shock them, guilt trip them into remembering the harm they have done to you and remind them that you are better off without them. At the end of the day, you don't need friends - you only need to look after number one. Genuine friends are hard to come by, and with people moving away from home to go to uni, the best friends you ever have are often the ones you leave in your home city.
    I had wondered if alcohol was affecting this? I don't drink alcohol but I have no idea how anyone would know, no-ones ever asked me to go out for a drink (or, no-one has ever asked me anything to do with friends!).
    I have realised that is a benefit to not having friends, I won't have any friendship argument issues, and no upset when friendships end..
    I'm already at uni, and never left any friends where I was from because I never had any, don't have any at uni either though. All the kind of "everyone is new, they will want friends" and "uni is not like school/college" is completely wrong.
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    I didn't have any friends either until the end of university. I was speaking with a few people but I didn't consider them as friends. I didn't see them outside uni. They were having parties every week and I was never invited. It continued 4 years. Then the last year I became friends with one guy and he invited me to the same parties. All the others were like "why didn't you come before? You were with us the 4 previous years"... I don't know, maybe because I had never been invited? I realized it didn't mean they didn't like me, because they kept inviting me after that. They just didn't bother making the first step.

    What I'm trying to say is that you only need one good friend, and usually you'll meet many of their friends/many other people and will become friends with them too. Another good example is one of my best friend, he got a GF, when I was at his house I met one of her friends, we got close, she invited me to do things/to parties and I met many other people who became my friends as well.

    How is it to have friends?
    Overrated is the first word that comes to my mind. I mean it can be great but they are a pain in the ass most of the time. There's always something wrong with one of them.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 16, 2015
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.