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    Right, so elpollodiablouk starts a haiku thread....

    and I decide to be a bit cheeky and start posting limericks....

    and then I get this haughty reply:

    (Original post by elpollodiablouk)
    You young upstart, you
    This thread is haikus alone
    No dumb limericks
    :rolleyes:

    So I've decided to start a proper limericks thread

    This was one of my attempts:

    (Original post by shilling)

    There once was a *mad* girl named Shilling,
    Went out on a dire spree of killing,
    She'll stalk you by night,
    Then you'll shriek from sheer fright,
    And the coroner's report'll be chilling! :eek:
    So, everybody...let's have your limericks
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    There once was a man who was orange....
    Bugger.

    Doorhinge?
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    (Original post by elpollodiablouk)
    There once was a man who was orange....
    Bugger.

    Doorhinge?
    err...then change the colour

    There once was a man who was green,
    His head really looked like a bean.
    He went out one day,
    I think 'twas in May,
    And never again he was seen.

    (okay...very poor, I know...but still )
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    Elizabeth II Regina....
    Nope, try again
    There once was a man from Venus...

    I'll think of a proper one later
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    all i want is for you to shine
    that is, to end with a rhyme
    the next line went awry
    i really have no idea why
    i'll get it next time

    does it have to be about a man or is that one okay?
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    There once was a young man from Leeds
    Who verily enjoyed eating weeds
    His stomach got pumped
    And his exams he all flunked
    And now all that he does is eat seeds.
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    There was a young lady of Lynn,
    Who was so uncommonly thin,
    That when she essayed
    To drink lemonade,
    She slipped through the straw and fell in...

    ... I've known it since I was a wee bairn.
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    (Original post by Don Quixote)
    all i want is for you to shine
    that is, to end with a rhyme
    the next line went awry
    i really have no idea why
    i'll get it next time

    does it have to be about a man or is that one okay?
    It doesn't need to be about a man...but it does have a certain rythme....

    Tummity tummity tum,
    Ti tummity tummity tum,
    lalalala laa
    lalalala laa
    Ti tummity tummity tum.

    Edit: I don't even know if that's right....but you get the general idea.
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    There was a young lady named bright,
    Who travelled much faster than light,
    She set hout one day,
    In a relative way,
    And returned on the prevoius night!

    My friend made that one up, I think. I'll get back to you with my own one.
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    (Original post by Hipocrit)
    There was a young lady named bright,
    Who travelled much faster than light,
    She set hout one day,
    In a relative way,
    And returned on the prevoius night!

    My friend made that one up, I think. I'll get back to you with my own one.
    there was a great ruler
    who tried to woo her.
    she was very fit
    so she fell for it
    when he tried to fool her


    not very good. coudlnt think of anythig to rhyme with ruler
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    (Original post by Undry1)
    there was a great ruler
    who tried to woo her.
    she was very fit
    so she fell for it
    when he tried to fool her


    not very good. coudlnt think of anythig to rhyme with ruler
    "fool her" might have worked better than "woo her" actually.
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    There was once a man from Iraq
    Then one night he got the sack
    He went on a train
    And travelled to Spain
    But he'd forgotten the whole of his pack!
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    There was a young lady named Jill,
    Who'd had too many a pill,
    She broke down and cried out,
    Please help me out!
    But she was already far too ill.

    :confused: Just made it up!
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    There was a young man named Jim,
    Who fell in love with a girl from Nymh,
    When they tried to make love,
    Something fell from above,
    And stopped him from getting it in.

    And Nymh is pronounced like 'Nim'... It's the only thing I could think of that rhymed with 'jim'
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    (Original post by Fleff)
    There was a young man named Jim,
    Who fell in love with a girl from Nymh,
    When they tried to make love,
    Something fell from above,
    And stopped him from getting it in.

    And Nymh is pronounced like 'Nim'... It's the only thing I could think of that rhymed with 'jim'
    lol i like that!
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    (Original post by kenkennykenken)
    lol i like that!
    Hehe, I am proud!
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    There once was a lady named Jane,
    Who delighted to travel by plane,
    She flew off one day,
    On a jet to bombay,
    And not once was seen again.

    Rubbish, but it fits.
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    There once was a guy from Dunndee
    Who was stung on the neck by a wasp
    When I asked if it hurt
    He said 'no, not a bit,
    It can do it again if it likes'.
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    (Original post by Amb1)
    There once was a guy from Dunndee
    Who was stung on the neck by a wasp
    When I asked if it hurt
    He said 'no, not a bit,
    It can do it again if it likes'.
    umm...limericks need to rhyme.

    eg.

    There once was a guy from Dundee,
    Who was stung by a wasp on his knee,
    When I asked if it hurt,
    He said, "not a bit, squirt,
    Much worse is the sting of a flea"

    And yes, I know flea's don't actually "sting" as such....but you see what I mean about the rhyming thing.
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    There was an old man from Dover,
    Who once found an eight leaf clover,
    He exclaimed with glee,
    oooo, look at me!
    Then he stumbled and fell straight over.

    There was a young lady from Devon,
    Who wanted to get into heaven,
    When she died in the night,
    God said with a fright,
    Oh my, she looks just like a lemon!

    There was a young man named Dan,
    Who came up with a fantastic plan,
    He drank lots of wine,
    Tried to have a good time,
    But he fell and threw up in a pan.

    There was a young man with a mole,
    Who fell in a great big hole,
    He couldn't decided,
    Whether to crawl up the side,
    Or to climb up with the aid of a pole.

    Since this thread started I've been making them up in my head...
 
 
 
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