Am I suffering from depression and anxiety or I am just lazy? Watch

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buzzbeebee
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#1
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Okay so to give some background I've lived around depression for most of my life being that I'm pretty sure most of my close family are suffering from it/have suffered from it at some point. We even know a family friend who commit suicide due to depression a few years ago.
And building up for the past year or so I feel like I may be suffering from it myself, and possibly anxiety. I'm at uni and just feel so worthless at the moment. I hate the course I'm on and barely even go in, and when I do it's only to keep up attendance. I cry myself to sleep thinking about it and have no energy to leave my bed in the morning, and can lie in till 11/12'o' clock sometimes which isn't like me at all. I can't see much point in my future and I just seem to be plodding along. I don't ever feel truly happy and have never understood how people go about their lives carefree and happy. As for the anxiety, if I do strike up the courage to go in I'm faced with speaking in front of large groups every lesson and I find myself shaking and feeling sick and sometimes having to leave the room even when it's just in front of about 5 people. Even walking down the street makes me feel nervous and paranoid.

However, you'd think what my family have been through they'd be more understanding. They all see me as lazy, and a failure because I'm not even 'trying' to give uni a go. My mum thinks I'm just being silly and despite suffering from depression herself right now, thinks I should just man up and deal with it like she does. I get no sympathy at all (not that I'm looking for it) even when I'm having a breakdown in the middle of the living room, telling her pretty much everything I've told you now, my mum will just says jokely that I'm 'hormonal' or 'it's just that time of the month again isn't it'.

If someone with depression can't even understand my feelings then am I just being stupid? Am I not suffering from it at all and just being a lazy miserable teenager?

p.s. I've written this post mainly to just get my feeling out and have a talk about it because I feel a bit sad and trapped haha, I realise it's a long post sorry


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magicstars64
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You're not a failure, and you're not stupid at all.
You say you're at uni? From what I've seen, the majority offer free counselling. It would definitely be worth looking into it and getting some help!
I can't tell if you're depressed or not, but on the chance you are, you'll be able to get through it with professional guidance.
:console:
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*pitseleh*
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Lots of what you're describing are typical symptoms of depression, but you're not going to be able to get the help and advice you need here, I'm afraid. Please go and see your GP when you can - they will be in a far better position to help you than anyone here will be.

I will say this though: having an illness doesn't make a person an expert in that illness. There could be all kinds of reasons why your Mum reacted the way she did (maybe she doesn't like the idea of you going through the same thing she's been through; maybe she thinks her way of dealing with her illness is the only right way to do it; maybe she's having a particularly rough time at the moment and hasn't got the mental strength to say anything more supportive?), but her experiences still don't mean that she gets to define yours, or tell you how to feel/act. So please don't feel that, because your Mum hasn't been very supportive, you must be some kind of fraud or something. That's not how it works.

Now, please go and make a GP appointment. I hope you're feeling a lot better soon.
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shawn_o1
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I find that talking to people who have experienced depression is better than talking to those who are currently in depression, as those who have experienced it and are feeling better now are able to talk about both sides of the coin, whereas those in depression (like your relatives) cannot imagine not being depressed at their current point in life and therefore have no capacity to help, they may even drag you down further without realising it.
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Cremated_Spatula
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(Original post by buzzbeebee)
Okay so to give some background I've lived around depression for most of my life being that I'm pretty sure most of my close family are suffering from it/have suffered from it at some point. We even know a family friend who commit suicide due to depression a few years ago.
And building up for the past year or so I feel like I may be suffering from it myself, and possibly anxiety. I'm at uni and just feel so worthless at the moment. I hate the course I'm on and barely even go in, and when I do it's only to keep up attendance. I cry myself to sleep thinking about it and have no energy to leave my bed in the morning, and can lie in till 11/12'o' clock sometimes which isn't like me at all. I can't see much point in my future and I just seem to be plodding along. I don't ever feel truly happy and have never understood how people go about their lives carefree and happy. As for the anxiety, if I do strike up the courage to go in I'm faced with speaking in front of large groups every lesson and I find myself shaking and feeling sick and sometimes having to leave the room even when it's just in front of about 5 people. Even walking down the street makes me feel nervous and paranoid.

However, you'd think what my family have been through they'd be more understanding. They all see me as lazy, and a failure because I'm not even 'trying' to give uni a go. My mum thinks I'm just being silly and despite suffering from depression herself right now, thinks I should just man up and deal with it like she does. I get no sympathy at all (not that I'm looking for it) even when I'm having a breakdown in the middle of the living room, telling her pretty much everything I've told you now, my mum will just says jokely that I'm 'hormonal' or 'it's just that time of the month again isn't it'.

If someone with depression can't even understand my feelings then am I just being stupid? Am I not suffering from it at all and just being a lazy miserable teenager?

p.s. I've written this post mainly to just get my feeling out and have a talk about it because I feel a bit sad and trapped haha, I realise it's a long post sorry


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I totally get where you are coming from, it seems like a very severe case of depression to me, and sometimes speaking to people who are currently depressed only makes things worse, as they are often completely self-loathing and will unintentionally bring others down.
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Katty3
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(Original post by buzzbeebee)
Okay so to give some background I've lived around depression for most of my life being that I'm pretty sure most of my close family are suffering from it/have suffered from it at some point. We even know a family friend who commit suicide due to depression a few years ago.
And building up for the past year or so I feel like I may be suffering from it myself, and possibly anxiety. I'm at uni and just feel so worthless at the moment. I hate the course I'm on and barely even go in, and when I do it's only to keep up attendance. I cry myself to sleep thinking about it and have no energy to leave my bed in the morning, and can lie in till 11/12'o' clock sometimes which isn't like me at all. I can't see much point in my future and I just seem to be plodding along. I don't ever feel truly happy and have never understood how people go about their lives carefree and happy. As for the anxiety, if I do strike up the courage to go in I'm faced with speaking in front of large groups every lesson and I find myself shaking and feeling sick and sometimes having to leave the room even when it's just in front of about 5 people. Even walking down the street makes me feel nervous and paranoid.

However, you'd think what my family have been through they'd be more understanding. They all see me as lazy, and a failure because I'm not even 'trying' to give uni a go. My mum thinks I'm just being silly and despite suffering from depression herself right now, thinks I should just man up and deal with it like she does. I get no sympathy at all (not that I'm looking for it) even when I'm having a breakdown in the middle of the living room, telling her pretty much everything I've told you now, my mum will just says jokely that I'm 'hormonal' or 'it's just that time of the month again isn't it'.

If someone with depression can't even understand my feelings then am I just being stupid? Am I not suffering from it at all and just being a lazy miserable teenager?

p.s. I've written this post mainly to just get my feeling out and have a talk about it because I feel a bit sad and trapped haha, I realise it's a long post sorry


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You are not lazy. You may have depression and/or some form of an anxiety disorder, but as I am not a qualified mental health professional, I cannot make a formal diagnosis. I suggest that you go to see you doctor. Your university probably has a counselling service. Make use of this. They will be able to help you, or be able to refer you to someone who can.

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Maid Marian
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Speak to your doctor and get a counselor at the very least. You need to find something to live for.:yes:
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tarabug
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Having lived through depression myself, I would say that you are displaying symptoms of depression. The best option I can give you is to speak to a GP and/or speak to a counsellor (or be referred). It is honestly the best thing to do
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buzzbeebee
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Thanks to everyone who replied, it made me feel a lot better about my situation I'm going to go see a GP in the next week and sort this out x
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babyshsn786
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Hi great to hear your going to GP. Also helps to get counseling . Why did you choose your course if you hate it? Remember your paying for it. Maybe it’s coz of your situation you feel you hate your course. As for mum you said she’s going through it the fact that she speaks to you in this manner is not because she god that understand , of course she does she just wants you to stay strong and not feel it’s blocking your life. I don’t know if there are any mindfull classes near you but they work a wonder .
When your down just think about those worse of Fox homeless or worn torn countries. Think about what they going through them is your situation really that bad. Get yourself together , reflect on what you want , you have your life ahead of you.
(Original post by buzzbeebee)
Thanks to everyone who replied, it made me feel a lot better about my situation I'm going to go see a GP in the next week and sort this out x
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CoolCavy
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(Original post by babyshsn786)
Hi great to hear your going to GP. Also helps to get counseling . Why did you choose your course if you hate it? Remember your paying for it. Maybe it’s coz of your situation you feel you hate your course. As for mum you said she’s going through it the fact that she speaks to you in this manner is not because she god that understand , of course she does she just wants you to stay strong and not feel it’s blocking your life. I don’t know if there are any mindfull classes near you but they work a wonder .
When your down just think about those worse of Fox homeless or worn torn countries. Think about what they going through them is your situation really that bad. Get yourself together , reflect on what you want , you have your life ahead of you.
This thread is 3 years old. Additionally comparing your situation to war torn countries is never productive as it just makes you feel guilty for feeling that way and doesn't help your own issues as every problem is relative
Hopefully OP has got some help by now and please don't bump 3 year old threads
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babyshsn786
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Ok but I don’t agree to your comment , instead of looking at it negatively it should uplift one and realize they have still the power to overcome this. It’s amazing how depression is treated in Uk compared to du countries , totally different mindset
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